shirts that are bras.

Soon it’s going to be warm outside, and like it or not we will be able to go outside and dress naked. There’s nothing I love more than dressing naked. I can’t wait to wear shirts that are bras.

I have a ton of shirts that are actually bras. To the naked eye, yes they are bras. But all of them were sold in the “shirts” section and I have worn them as shirts more than once.

It’s all about perception. And perception is reality.

Are these shirts or bras? You decide.

Actually, I decide. I’ve already decided. They’re shirts. Thx.

shirt that’s a bra with a kimono.

New favorite outfit. Never put this together before today and pretty pumped about it.

shirt that’s a bra that’s def a bra.

shirt that’s a bra with buttons.

Snake necklace from Kanibal & Co, my boyfriend got it for me 🙂

shirt that’s a bra with shorts that match it.

If you think it looks like pajamas you thought WRONG.

shirt that’s a bra and also denim.

This shirt is also wrinkled because my steamer is broken.

shirt that’s a bra and i like the back.

I took these pics in my closet that I’ve recently cleaned! It’s the size of a small room so I can now use it as a room to take photos in. Very exciting stuff.

Most of these tops are from Free People. They specialize in shirts that are actually bras. The skirt in the last section is from Express and I’ve had it since my freshman year of high school…WHICH WAS 1999.

can I build stuff?

There comes a time in all of our lives when we ask ourselves, “Can I build stuff?”

I don’t know, can you?

If you can build stuff, I’m very impressed and you should be proud. Because I am proud of you. It’s bad ass to be able to build stuff! And I mean like actually build stuff from scratch. That is badass AF.

Just like, the formula of “Random pieces of wood + implements that hold random pieces of wood together = useful furniture and other items that are also possibly strikingly beautiful” is so completely mind blowing I can’t even stand it.

As far as ME asking myself “can I build stuff?,” that mostly applies to stuff I got at Target or Wayfair or worst of all IKEA. That’s the only stuff I can (kind of) build. Stuff with an instruction manual. Even though usually that instruction manual is ostensibly in another language and makes no sense and that’s not because I’m looking at the wrong (for me) non-English side.

I paid a man to build this. A professional man.

I take a dig at IKEA here because I’ve only ever gotten one thing from IKEA and it was a piece of shit wardrobe that fell apart after like a year. That wasn’t even the worst part, because getting the wardrobe delivered was the worst part. It wasn’t even built and was in pieces and they couldn’t figure out how to get to my house when I was home during the agreed upon delivery hours and the delivery people kept yelling at me when they were the ones that blew it. If it was a normal company run by normal people and not the deplorable troll people that run IKEA then maybe it would have worked out okay.

I’m sorry IKEA, I’ll probably still buy shit from you in the future and you’re just going to have to accept that I called you deplorable troll people.

You can call me whatever you want in return, I don’t care.

In the past have built this dresser from Target:

By “the past” I mean…omg I built this thing 10 years ago because I got it for Xmas in 2009 WHAT IS MY LIFE.

But it’s still here! I keep it in my bathroom because it’s sadly falling apart and only two of the drawers work but it holds my extra products and all of my Birchbox samples and more. It’s wedged in a corner because the wall literally holds it up.

But I love the drawer handles! I got them at the now defunct Two Buttons in Frenchtown, NJ.

At work we had to build our own desks and it didn’t enjoy that. We got these really cool state of the art stand up desks and I was so pumped about them. Then they arrived and I was like, “wait what? I have to BUILD THIS?”

And in my own house, by myself, it would have been fine. But at the time I worked in an office with 4 dudes. All of them perfectly nice, do not get me wrong.

But I am very socially awkward about doing skills in front of people unless I am VERY GOOD at those skills. And I am NOT very good at building stuff. And I was nervous and moving too fast and my hands were shaky and slipping and I could not figure out how to build that thing. Because I knew deep down that I didn’t know how to build said thing and would need to ask for help. And I felt like the patriarchy had been proven right and I was making women everywhere look bad and incapable and incompetent and I COULDN’T EVEN BUILD MY OWN DESK.

So I had to ask for help. But just know that I didn’t like it. I liked the help because my male co-workers are kind and they were 100% not having any of these thoughts and I’m just a crazy person. But I didn’t like the asking.

This Xmas I got a desk and chair from Santa (thanks parents!) and I worked on building them yesterday.

Here’s a time lapse of me building them in my black sweatpants leisure jumpsuit:

And they’re built!

The desk is from Target and was very simple to assemble, I just had to attach 4 legs. The chair is from Urban Outfitters and for some reason I had some trouble with it even though I only had to attach the bottom part. Again I am not a professional. Or maybe that’s the first time I’m saying it but again I am not a professional.

Finished!

I’ve had to build or put together things or change lightbulbs or kill spiders my whole adult life because I’ve never lived with a dude. The truth is…I don’t actually kill the spiders. I allow them to stay around because they eat other less cool and less evolved bugs. It’s just science. But it’s true that I do all the other stuff.

One time a dude I “hooked up with” or whatever sometimes over the course of a year or so but only between 3am and 8am came over at 4:18am and there was a bookshelf outside in the hall that my roommate had gotten delivered. It was too heavy for one gal to move out of the hall, so the dude helped me move it into my apartment. This was the nicest thing he ever did, but he never really did anything mean. He was just kind of…there. V quiet, v shy. Maybe he was just blackout drunk every day, but who’s to say? Case in point the next morning he did not recall helping to move the bookshelf. Wait…did it even happen?

Anyway, that’s the only time a dude has helped. That’s a lie, my dad helps sometimes. Thanks Lexx! And I still have the bookshelf. But it has seen better days.

Have you often asked yourself “can I build stuff?” Do you build stuff? Do you pay someone to build stuff? Do you make your dad build stuff? Are you a badass that can build like REAL STUFF like tables and benches and rocking chairs and HOUSES? I wanna know. Please share your tales of building excellence, no matter how big or small.

xmas list of an adult woman.

Xmas is almost here! This is the Xmas list of an adult woman.

My mom and dad are very kind and good parents and luckily show us that they care in many, many different and diverse and dynamic ways but one of those ways is fun Xmas gifts! So my mom asked us all for Xmas lists. And the only ones that got back to her with an Xmas list were my future brother in law and me. Because we aren’t FOOLS.

I love getting gifts. I won’t deny it. I also get gifts for others and put a lot of thought into them because it’s the right thing to do, but I wouldn’t say I get as much enjoyment out of giving gifts as I get out of receiving them. That’s just the way it is.

Without further adieu, here is the Xmas list of an adult woman, as I wrote it to my mom.

i need 4 of these frames in black PLEASEEE

Link to frames.

8x8 frame from Amazon

I got some awesome prints from Brooklyn Snobs like…5 months ago, and they need to go in frames. There are 4 prints so that is why I “need” 4 frames. Didn’t mean to be a bitch by saying, “I NEED this.”

I love these bras, any of the black fabrics in this style in size small

Link to bras.

Bralettes for adult woman

I love these FREAKING bras and they are so damn expensive unless you buy the pattern and materials to SEW YOUR OWN which I do not feel like doing right now. Sorry.

one or both of these little sets

Link to set 1.

Drunk elephant Rise + Glow set from Sephora

Link to set 2.

Drunk Elephant Night Bright set from Sephora

I want to possess Drunk Elephant products so badly and I hope “Santa” understands that. Also I said “one” was an option but I really do want both.

OMG! i think in small

Link to bright pink puffer jacket from Target

Hot Pink Puffer Coat from Target!

Anything pink immediately draws me to it, like a moth to the flame. And I must possess it.

I want to try this place, $45 for 3 classes new student special

Link to Y7 Flatiron.

YAS Y7 YASSSSS. This is the only yoga I’m on board with. It’s fast and there is fun music.

I want to try this one too! Starter 10 day class for $35

Link to 305 Fitness.

Ive heard tales of this fun dance class with a DJ and I GOTTA GO.

Any bra or pants from here that is mostly black and a size small, pants should be high waisted please and I like the strappier bras

Link to Carbon38 SALE.

Carbon38 sale page, filtered for items that are black.

Workout clothes. Clothes for working out. Carbon38 is bananas expensive but they have good sales sometimes. When I started working out a few years ago I really liked wearing crazy colored pants and bras but I don’t like those as much anymore so I’m trying to phase them out and replace them with black. Because it’s the New York way. Don’t worry, I will still wear brightly colored and patterned regular clothes. Just not gym clothes.

SERUMS

Link to SERUMS from Glossier.

Glossier super glow and super bounce serums

Suddenly I need serums. Like legitimately need them. My face is red all the time, and dry, and getting wrinkly. I need to try as many as possible until I find ones that work. Don’t judge me. This is the Xmas list of an adult woman, after all.

In size 8

Link to leopard Vans from ban.do.

Vans Leopard slip ons

Link to zebra Vans from ban.do.

Vans with zebra print

Like a good Jersey City girl I will never be over Vans and I need them in my life. I wore my current leopard ones into the ground so I need a refresh. And I haven’t seen zebra on any other gal. If I see them on you I’ll kick your ass. JK let’s have a zebra Vans party.

Link to beautiful Frye boots.
If you still need any ideas…these in black size 8 😍😍😍

Black Frye booties

This was a more recent addendum to the list and the note at the bottom is to my mom, not you. They’re sold out in size 8 now so FINGERS CROSSED one of those sales was SANTA.

Small desk for working from home (in Black Oak)

Link to desk from Target.

Gray colored desk

I have A LOT of space in my bedroom now and I want to get a desk! I can use it to work from home for actual work or to work on this very blog. I usually sit on the floor and use my coffee table for my computers in either situation. Although I enjoy floor-sitting greatly I think a desk would probably be better for my body.

Chair for desk (this one or similar, but want a pink-ish velvet one in this style comfortable for sitting and working)

Link to pink velvet chair from Urban Outfitters.

Pink velvet chair

Omg. I want this chair. It’s just perf. Please pray to Xmas for me.

also books!

Link to The Witches Are Coming by Lindy West.

I cannot wait to read this. I love and want and need everything that Lindy West has ever written. She is a goddess of words and thoughts and ideas. Bow down to her or face your own ignorance with shame.

Link to Little Weirds by Jenny Slate.

Jenny Slate is a cute little wacky lady that moves around in a funny way and she is also sharp and smart. She has a fun to follow instagram and always wears fashunz I would like to wear. One time a boy told me I looked like a combo of Jenny Slate and Zoe Deschanel and it was a huge compliment although I don’t really believe it. I don’t think I look like either of them but I DO think that this particular boy didn’t have very good communication skills and was trying to convey that I was “quirky” and also some kind of manic pixie dream girl. Which is a problem. I am a real person and not a literary device. Anyway I wanna read this book.

blue light blocking glasses in la_nola color please

Link to blue light blocking glasses.

Blue light blocking glasses

I already got these. Don’t be jealous. Santa sent them to my office because I was getting headaches. Thaaaaanks Santa.

haha size small

Link to “Brat” long sleeve tee from Rachel Anotnoff.

Pink "Brat" long sleeve t-shirt from Rachel Antonoff

I love Rachel Antonoff. One time I received a photo of her on my birthday and she said “Happy Birthday!” It was a big moment. A guy I went on a few dates with sent it to me and was like “I went to high school with Rachel and I ran into her on the street and I told her it was your bday!” And I think that was very kind. She’s from New Jersey so of course she is good people…GREAT PEOPLE. Her stuff is very expensive but so fun, so I have a few of the t-shirts. One day I will be able to buy the real clothes. ONE DAY YOU GUYS. EVEN SANTA CAN’T AFFORD THEM RIGHT NOW THOUGH OK?!

Rachel Antonoff on the street in NYC
Birthday (my birthday) image of Rachel Antonoff from my personal collection.

anything from this page if you need silly little things (I like the notebooks and pens and stickers and socks and ornaments)

Link to ban.do’s “Gifts Under $25” page

ban.do's under $25 gifts page

ban.do never does anything I don’t like. I think you know that already.

Omg

Link to Mini Waffle Maker from Urban Outfitters.

Cute little yellow mini waffle maker from Urban Outfitters

Frankly this is ridiculous but like…I def want this. I don’t have a waffle maker and this would be THE waffle maker for my small kitchen.

That’s the Xmas list of an adult woman. Now you know what to get me! JK Santa will get this stuff for me don’t you even dare.

What’s on your list? What are you most excited about potentially receiving? On the other hand, if you prefer giving, what are you most excited to give? Do you do presents at all or just chill and eat foods? Eating holiday foods is great too but we’ll talk about that another time, as it warrants a whole separate post.

tripod tuesday.

I had a very long and tiring day today with all the voting and some other fun stuff I’ll tell you about tomorrow.

But for now I’m just going to reflect on the awesomeness that is my tripod. WITH BLUETOOTH REMOTE. If you want to know what pure happiness is, it is when you want a photo of you taken and you do not have to ask ANYONE to take it. You do not have to associate with a SINGLE HUMAN. It’s just you and your tripod. And that’s beautiful.

I’m going to go ahead and create a new category called “blatant narcissism” to file this one under.

I’ll also include some outfit notes/links/whatever in case either of these lewks inspire you and you’d like to poke around the Internet.

Other than that it will just be the Shan Show. Omg that’s my fav show!

Lewk 1 – Dress, Free People. Necklace, Old Navy. Bracelets, Alex and Ani, ban.do, and Stone Cooper. Boots, H&M.

Feeling okay about a braless, lawless life.
Acrobatic!
I’m just proud of my posture here.

Lewk 2 – Dress, Urban Outfitters (similar one here). Fur, Another Man’s Treasure. Necklace and Earrings, JCrew. Bracelets, Alex and Ani, ban.do, and Stone Cooper.

Hehe.
BASK LIFE.
Okay so this is the “sexy one.” Just play along.
Wait ummm…excuse me? Hi? I have a quesh?
Just like, in a chicken yard.

I know my photography skills and my face skills and my posing skills and my living life skills need to be improved – and that’s okay! Practice makes perfect and the practicing part is fun as hell. I could do this with every piece of clothing in my closet every single day and it would not bore me. Be glad you have that to look forward to. I am.

Do you like to take pics of yourself? Where do you take them? Do you have any tips or tricks to share?! I’m all ears. Well I’m all one ear because I’m deaf in the other one.

K that’s all I got bye.