lambrusco, the perfect pizza wine.

Last night I got to thinking and I was thinking about Lambrusco, the perfect pizza wine.

I was basically thinking about how I can’t really drink wine anymore because it gives me an AWFUL headache, and tomorrow I’m going for pizza with some of my pals and I had to plan ahead what I’m going to drink. Because I’m insane. But during this planning process as I fell asleep my thoughts turned to Lambrusco.


Lambrusco was discovered BY ME at Motorino in the East Village and subsequently skyrocketed in popularity in Jersey City. I mean correlation doesn’t imply causation but I think I had a hand in it. Also that’s an unofficial claim and zero research has been done on it, so believe what you will.

We went to Motorino for pizza (duh) and on the little board on the wall it was written, “Lambrusco – the perfect pizza wine!” I had never heard of it and had no idea what it was, but assumed I probably wouldn’t like it because I’m not that big on wine, especially red wine. Instead of taking out my phone and googling it I asked the waiter what it was. This was very out of character for me.

When he replied with, “it’s a sparkling red” my head exploded and they had to scrape my brains off the walls. A sparkling RED?! I had never considered such a thing!

Okay actually I HAD considered a sparkling red in the sense that I used to add Diet Sprite to red wine in college in order to make it more palatable. I really dislike red wine, even now. It’s thick and oppressive and it makes your mouth all purple. It creeps me out.

The issue is that red wine is supposed to go with pizza and pasta and all that shit. But I hate red wine so I was always drinking Sauvignon Blanc or Prosecco or something. But that ALSO creeped me out because it felt very against the social convention. Eating and enjoying foods is important to me and I love it and it’s all I have and I want to enjoy it in the best way possible so I was like I need to heed this red wine with pizza reccomendaish at some point. Just for science or whatever.

After I was informed of its characteristics I ordered Lambrusco IMMEDIATELY and my life has never been the same. It really IS the perfect pizza wine! It’s red so it checks that box, but it’s also light and sparkling and a little sweet so I don’t feel the normal red wine aversion.

On a regular Friday pizza night I used to drink a full bottle of Lambrusco. The first few times I drank it I got it by the glass and by the end of dinner I had had like 6 glasses and that cost a lot. I don’t remember how much because math. But then I started just getting a bottle. It was better for everyone.

Lambrusco became so beloved in my life that I would drink it and yell, “Lambrusco!” Or “‘Brusco!” Or “It’s the perfect pizza wine!” Or, more commonly, all three. The servers at Porta, my main source for pizza, eventually started to know that a bottle of Lambrusco was what I most wanted. They would bring it without even asking at one point. They were wise.

At some point, as with everything, my consumption of Lambrusco went down and then tapered off almost completely. I did a sober January for the first time a couple of years ago and was never the same again. My drinking endurance was irrevocably compromised. Now I can only drink like…a Pilsner or a light lager. Or a White Claw. Oooo or a rose cider! I mean I “can” drink anything but there are certain things I try to avoid because I’ll feel like total crap and won’t get anything done the next day. Wine is one of those things.

So I miss Lambrusco, I do. Pilsners and White Claws do not pair with pizza quite as well. I can’t yell, “White Claw!” in joyful fashion as I order it. That would be sociopath behavior. I can’t proclaim “It’s the perfect pizza Pilsner!” It just doesn’t have the same ring to it.

Actually, “pizza Pilsner” could work because ALLITERATION!

Brb searching for a pizza Pilsner. Wait do you know any pizza Pilsners?! Plz advise.

summer emo night at porta jersey city.

Guys, I was already having a hard time and then my bird died so I haven’t written about Emo Night at Porta yet. Emotionally I just couldn’t bear to really rave about something I wanted to give a rave review to. But it happened almost a week ago so I’ll tell you a bit about it now before it turns into like ten years ago.

Emo night! Porta Jersey City! Phil Nasty! Drink specials! Rooftop! Woo!

Just trying to get myself pumped here.

Honestly it was a really great night. You know I LOVED the emo night back in January and I wasn’t even drinking back then. So this one was like EVEN BETTER and as I mentioned my birdie died but at this point she was just sick but I was still very sad so it was nice to be out for a couple of hours and also leave her alone and quiet which is what the vet recommended but I couldn’t resist peeking in her little cage every 2 minutes to check on her.

So yes, I needed a drink. Thanks for asking.

They had an awesome looking cocktail that I should have gotten but didn’t and I still feel residual regret about it. There was cold brew involved which I’m always on board for.

Another drink special was Miller Light in a can but it was in a BLACK CAN because this is EMO and we are SAD and also…I’m sad about my bird. So I drank the black can.

We ordered our usual 14 1/2 which is the spiciest, meatiest pie in town and we love it so much. In two towns, because it’s also better than all the spicy-meaty choices in Hoboken. So there.

I did have some leftovers but my pal put them in her tote and then I forgot them when I left and they were lost forever.

I was too sad about my bird. I couldn’t be trusted. My mind was not right.

Music was also included in emo night! Music was the whole point of emo night! Don’t act like you forgot!

Phil Nasty played the greatest emo bangers this side of 2005 and everyone had the time of their lives singing along at the top of their lungs. It’s just the way we roll.

As a special added bonus there were fun little song quotes on sticks for taking pictures. I was super super super (SUPER X3!) excited when I saw them and no one else got excited at first and I felt like a loser but then people did so it was okay. Maybe I should care less about being a loser but if I did I guess I wouldn’t be emo. So in the end I DID fit in?

Anyway I loved it. Loved every second. I’m so glad to be back in the world and I am grateful for every second. I felt happy and lucky to be up on the roof with a bunch of pals and like-minded jersey city individuals. It was a beautiful evening and PERFECTLY socially distanced so don’t think for a SECOND that they blew it there because they def KILLED IT and gov murph himself would be proud AF.

Marianne and Phil and Porta and probably some other really cool fun fab folks did a great badass job and I’m so pumped I went.

Whew, okay. Glad I got to tell you about that and give it the enthusiasm it deserves. Gonna go cry more about my bird now bye.

we are allowed to drink in the street.


Working on a line-less tan at Enos Jones Park.

In fact, I’ve been enjoying myself so incredibly immensely that I’m only just writing about it now. It’s a beautiful vacation life and it’s been going on for a couple of weeks (since May 15), this drinking in the street. And it’s everything we’ve ever wanted. Everything we’ve hoped for. Yes, we’ve alway wanted to drink in the street. It’s all we think about.

Not very socially distant – we’ll do better.

Some of us have been to places like New Orleans and Las Vegas and maybe even Savannah where you’re able to get drinks to go and drink IN THE STREET. Many of us have tried to get drinks in bars or at liquor stores and have brought them into the street with intent to drink in the street, with varying degrees of success. I will say that I’m pretty sure it’s always been okay and legal to openly and brazenly drink on NJTransit but that could be my own wishful thinking.

Brown baggin’ a mango White Claw from Ed & Mary’s

We, the citizens of Chilltown (JK I never call it that), have always wondered why we weren’t blessed with the beautiful gift of drinking outside from our state or city government but then we remember New Jersey politics were once run by actual, literal mobsters and things are still a little weird. Someone, somewhere, between the banks of the Hudson River/Atlantic Ocean and the Delaware River/Bay, is benefiting from us not drinking in the street. They probably think they’re really important and they’re definitely smoking a cigar.

The Archer is perhaps killing the proverbial “IT” most of all.

But for now, only WE benefit. We’ve been waiting for this. We’ve worked hard and we’ve been behaving ourselves, only drinking inside the boundaries of restaurants and backyards, and we DESERVE THIS.

The “Summer School” from Porta. There’s vodka.

I’ve found myself in more than one public park running around blowing bubbles at children and getting them to yell “WAHOO!’ with me.

Checking to see if my eyeliner was crooked. It was crooked.

We’ve turned Newark Ave into a drunken dance cardio class.

Drank so much in the street that I became one with a tree.

More frozen rum drinks than one could ever keep count of have been consumed.

A “Missionary’s Downfall” from The Archer. THIS IS MY FAVORITE DRINK OF THE APOCALYPSE.

On Sunday while drinking on the street I drooled all over a Golden Retriever and kept telling him he was the “Quarterback of the Dog World!” Actually…I think I was right about that. They ARE the quarterbacks of the dog world.

More fun, tropical, vacation-like rum DRANKS from Harry’s Daughter.

Perhaps most fantastic of all is the fact that the drink selling establishments close by like 10pm. So then I can GO HOME and no one can talk me into staying out. Because there is nowhere to go. So then the next day I can wake up and work out and do my work and live a full life.

At this point I need to go home.

Overall it has been a beautiful time in our collective city history, and it’s all taken place under a cheerful blue sky and a relentless sun that has made me acceptably tan. We’ll always remember this time fondly, I think, once they take our drinking in the street privileges away. Because they will.

Keyhole with the frozen Moscow Mule!

Nothing gold can stay.

White Star makes an INCRED lemonade.

Yesterday our Jersey City restaurants opened for outdoor dining. Like actual dining where you sit outside the restaurant in a special area and you have table service. We were unable to attend because we were exhausted and still recovering from 3 days of outdoor drinking, IN THE STREET.

Corgi Spirits is not on the street but still a great place to drink in the outdoors at any time in cultural or political history, not just during the apocalypse.

Tonight we’ll check out the dining. But please let us drink in the street forever and ever and never take it away ever again, amen.

Social distance reminders.
This dog loves drinking on the street.

galentines brunch at porta jersey city.

Yesterday was the annual Galentines Brunch at Porta Jersey City also known as the BEST DAY OF OUR COLLECTIVE LIVES.

In the morning I woke up very hungover from my Valentines Day date the night before. But it was time to get freakin serious so I had my boyfriend go get me some Diet Coke and Excedrin at the bodega. And I definitely appreciated it and said thank you. Just making sure you know that.

I took the Excedrin and tried to collect my thoughts and feel better as quickly as possible. I had to be at trampoline class at JaneDO by 11am. It was required.

After trampoline class I sprayed myself with some spray deodorant and headed to Galentines Day Brunch at Porta Jersey City in my gym clothes. If you know me, you know that I HATED doing this because I don’t like to wear gym clothes when I’m not at the gym and especially sweaty ones. And I also like to wear specially selected and beautiful outfits for certain occasions. Especially if I feel pictures will be taken. Since I wasn’t dressed how I would have liked to be dressed I felt disgusting AF.

Everyone at Galentines Day Brunch also looked so darn cute and I was very sad that I was in dumb boring sweaty gym clothes. I just need you all to know that. I was so sad that I had to drink two strawberry mimosa carafes.

I had to.

Just FYI the only way to drink a mimosa carafe at Porta is to insert a straw directly into the carafe. It’s the rules. Speaking of mimosa carafes they had adorable little menus for you to order custom mimosa carafes and bloody Mary’s. YES.

The bloody Marys were made with Misunderstood Whiskey which is delish and the only whiskey I will happily and willingly consume. I don’t like whiskey overall but I DO like Misunderstood Whiskey. They also gave out koozies that say “whiske all day” and we found those hilarious, relevant to our lives, and adorable.

For foods a few of us got “all the bacon and eggs” and shared that. Someone got the “treat yo self sandwich” and I had a bite of that. Another gal got the waffles and they looked delish! And yet another opted for a salad. Which is great but it kicked off a conversation about how much I hate vegetables. And no one else really hates vegetables and I feel like a child and a loser. But I, in fact, still hate them and won’t stop hating them. Thx.

In addition to consuming food and drink we played MASH. Did you ever play MASH at sleepovers growing up?! Why is it the best?! Why don’t we play MASH every day?! I think we really should. In my MASH I live in a house in Key West with Lakeith Stanfield and a tiger and I don’t have a job. But like, in a good way, because I don’t HAVE to have a job. I’m fully on board.

Once I got good and mimosa-d up I also made a vision board at the table run by the gals from Mint Market. I’m not allowed to shop during Q1 because of a dumb New Years resolution so I had to try very hard to avoid their wares. But I had a lovely time sitting at their table in the sunshine drunkenly zoning out and creating a “vision board” which really has no visions for the future beyond “I really hope I see a bear sometime soon” and “hedonism.”

Either way I’m really proud of it.

The atmosphere at Galentines Brunch at Porta Jersey City was TRANSCENDENT. Everyone was laughing and drinking and smiling and dancing and being galentine-y. It was a joyful place to hang and catch up with pals. Overall I’m a huge proponent of lady brunch times so I think we should just do it every weekend in this same spirit. Like why not?

After brunch we went to Six26 next door for some drinks and to catch the end of drag brunch. Which DOES happen every weekend and I would like to return. After THAT I think I may have gone to Downtown Yogurt but things are a little…dark. Can we maybe consult some security footage? I think that may be helpful.

I do know that I got home around 6pm and I woke up at 9:30pm and did not know where the time had gone.

That’s the risk you take when you go to Galentines Brunch at Porta Jersey City. And it’s worth every penny and lost brain cell.

Did you go to Galentines Brunch at Porta Jersey City? Did you go to Galentines Brunch anywhere else? DID YOU LOVE IT?! You better have. Because it’s great.

valentine’s day at target.

You may be aware that I’m obsessed with Target. You may be aware that ALL WOMEN of a certain age (or quite possibly ALL AGES) are FULLY OBSESSED with Target. This post is about Valentine’s Day at Target.

Actually now that I have you here, this post is about more than Valentine’s Day at Target. This post is about jumping on board with Valentine’s Day and just fully giving myself over to the fun. Admitting to myself and to the world that there is nothing I’d rather do than giggle, eat candy and other seasonal special sweet treats, smell and admire a lovely arrangement of flowers, and be among and one with pink, red, and sparkly shit.

For many years I scoffed at Valentine’s Day. I was like “Screw Valentine’s Day.” I was one of THOSE. I don’t know what I was so pissed about but I doubt Valentine’s Day had directly hurt me in any way.

Why would I SCOFF about a bright and delightful and treat filled holiday that comes to sweeten things up literally and figuratively RIGHT WHEN WE NEED IT MOST?! Like, it’s freezing cold and raining and snowing and there is no sunlight and we’re all very pale and have a cold and January lasted for five years and it’s time for something happy.


I don’t see any OTHER February holidays stepping up to bring us joy. Presidents Day, looking at YOU.

My clearest memory of Valentine’s Day as a kid was its mention in the Samantha Parkington American Girl books. Samantha Parkington is the basic bitch of American Girl dolls but the one thing that stuck with me is that in one of her books they made valentines. They were making them with glue and like…scraps. She was hanging out with her aunt making these scrapentines and I thought that sounded really cool.

So in the back where they hid the real historical info I located the passage about the valentines. They saved scraps for valentines for real in Victorian times! Scraps from magazines and newspapers and little pieces of ribbon or fabric from making their own clothes (I guess). And they kept them in a special box, and every year they took that box out to make valentines. Like how freakin cool is that?!

Okay maybe YOU don’t think it’s cool. But it was an exciting moment for me. To find out that ladies with free time been crafting since forevs. I was young and impressionable. Also they could have just made all this up because I couldn’t really confirm it anywhere on the internet.

The idea of “Galentines” is what got me fully back on board with Valentine’s Day at a level I haven’t been on since like, 11th grade. I was like “OMG valentines can be your FRIENDS?! You can celebrate FRIENDSHIP and still eat sweet treats and not miss out on pink and red sparkly shit and other various seasonal crafts?! SIGN ME UP.”

This all ties in with Valentines Day at Target because I now ENJOY THE HECK OUT OF frolicking through target looking at Valentine’s Day shit. I will buy anything. I mean that goes for anything at Target. I will buy anything out of anything at Target.

Target has Valentine’s Day versions of LITERALLY EVERY candy and snack.

THEY HAD VALENTINE’S DAY MUDDY BUDDIES. Do you know how I feel about Muddy Buddies?


There were so very many cute valentines for kids to take to school with them.

Unicorns, dinosaurs, cartoon characters that I don’t know of that only little kids care about, EVERYTHING.

Best of all, they had fun decorative treats for adults. Adults like ME that like to buy shit. I got these birds because I’m trying to have some birds for every holiday:

So far I have birds for Halloween, Xmas, and now Valentine’s Day.


I also got this very fun little wreath made out of metal and string. I probably could have made it myself but that wouldn’t have been as fun as going to Target to get it.

Additionally they had fun sprinkles and baking shit so I got some to make cookies! I gave the cookies out at book club and I should have made more cookies to bring to work for Valentine’s Day but I got too tired. We’re in the middle of the cold, dark, terrible, soul sucking winter, after all.

So what I’m saying is, enjoy Valentine’s Day. There is some fun and colorful and delicious shit going on. Don’t be a grump and miss out on it. Honestly it’s all things you can even do by yourself.

You can eat candy by yourself, and cookies and cupcakes. Yes, you are fully capable of eating by yourself. I do it all the time!

You can buy yourself flowers. I highly recommend it. I didn’t get myself flowers this year because I live far away from the world on The Hill now and I didn’t feel like carrying them from Kanibal to my house. But if that irritating geographical roadblock wasn’t looming in my path I totally would have.

Cook yourself dinner, take yourself on an adventure, write yourself a card. Screw it.

Also, GALENTINE’S. Today (Feb 13) is the day for the gals, but my friends and I are celebrating it on Saturday at Porta. Porta does a great job at all things, but Galentine’s is one of their crowning achievements. There are drink specials and food specials and fun activities and decorations and it’s a very joyful and celebratory time. AGAIN, it is a bright shining beacon in the bleak landscape of winter. I can’t even deal with winter anymore I’m struggling and hanging on by a thread.

So hopefully if you’re a gal or pal of gals I’ll see you at Porta Jersey City on Saturday 2/15 between 11am and 4pm and we will smile and laugh and drink and cheers and celebrate all that is bright and sweet in the world. Like all of us are.


2017 women’s march on washington.

There was a women’s march this past weekend, and I didn’t attend so I’m not sure how it went. But I hope it went well! And I’m glad it happened. But I’m going to tell you about the 2017 Women’s March on Washington, because that one I did go to.

At the end of 2016 everything was pretty depressing. 2016 had actually been a great year for me personally and I was feeling fab and then November and Election Day came around and it was the worst day that ever happened. You’ve heard the story many times before, but no one was expecting that Trump would get elected. And that’s why he did get elected, because essentially no one was really paying enough attention to the nefarious pockets of ignorance in this country. Including me.

march prep.

Word spread that there would be a women’s march on Washington around the same day as Trump’s Inauguration. Women’s March 2017 marches were organized for other cities as well, including NYC. At first I think we thought we would go to that one, but eventually we threw around the idea that maybe we’d find a bus and go to the one in DC. There were a bunch of buses offered from various cities, paid for by various people or companies or campaigns or whatever. The first one we tried to get on filled up. But then we heard about some buses that Angela McKnight was running from Berry Lane Park so we emailed and crossed our fingers.

We ended up getting a spot on one of those buses and we were beyond excited. It was time to make signs! It was time…TO CRAFT. My roommate got us a bunch of supplies, and we found a website that had made poster sized prints of cool protest images in 4 pieces so you could print them out at work or Staples or whatever and then stick them onto cardboard and BOOM, bad ass sign.

There was glitter, markers, glue, fun colored tapes, bright colored papers, letter stickers…perhaps this was my favorite part of the whole march. The night before we spread it all out in our living room and got our signs ready to go.

One side of my sign said, “STEP OFF! STEP OFF! CAN U NOT?” “Step off” because at the time I had a joke with my then 2.5 year old nephew where we would yell “STEP OFF!” like in the song in School of Rock…

Also because I wanted Trump to step off and get out of my face.

It said “CAN U NOT?” because I thought it was a funny way to say it but also I wanted the government to NOT…do anything terrible. Both sentiments were accentuated by unicorn emojis because at the time the unicorn emoji was my favorite emoji, and I wanted to display my preference and platform of being both feminist and girly AF.

The other side of the sign had a bear that was an angry bear. Angry because of all this bullshit, probably.

While we made our signs we also discussed some strategies. I will admit that we were very afraid. I’m not 100% sure why we were afraid and sometimes I feel silly for being afraid, looking back, but it did seem that something could go terribly wrong and we could get hurt or arrested or even just be made to cry and we didn’t want any of that to happen. Especially the crying. In public. Shameful.

But we had fears of like, tear gas, or people stampeding over us, or some kind of dangerous chaos or confusion. So we wrote our own phone numbers and each other’s phone numbers and the phone number for the ACLU on our arms in Sharpie. In case our phones died or didn’t work or we lost them or lost each other.

Our outfits for Women’s March 2017 were carefully selected for warmth and practicality. We both had newly attained Uniqlo Heat Tech gear from a recent New Year’s Eve trip to Montreal, so we busted that out. We both wore hiking boots and thick socks. An earnest search for black bandanas was made, but we ended up getting black cloth napkins from Bed Bath and Beyond (we felt we needed bandanas to protect us from the possible tear gas we were very scared of).

Most importantly, I knit myself a pink “pussy” hat! Like most things I make by hand, the craftsmanship was questionable, but I was still able to wear it and it still looked like it had ears. And I was proud! It was irritating AF to hear old white men be like “Why are all these women wearing these HATS and talking about their PUSSIES what are they even MARCHING FOR?” So they can suck it. I don’t have to explain myself to them. I made the hat. I wore the hat. I marched in the hat. Bye.

travel to dc.

The morning of the march we took an Uber up to Berry Lane Park, very very early, it was still dark. At the time we were DOWNTOWN JC 4LIFE and neither of us had ever even heard of Berry Lane Park. Now I ride a Citibike through the park almost every morning (at least when it’s not winter). The times, they change.

We were given a snack bag! A SNACK BAG! I was pumped about the snack bag and thought it was very kind. I forget what was even in there but I do recall an apple. Then Mayor Fulop had a quick speech for us and we boarded the buses and were on our way.

I think I napped the whole way, I was tired as hell. That or I watched season 1 of The OA. I know I DEF watched The OA on the way back because I didn’t want to talk to another person ever again. My talking to people quota for the day was beyond exceeded.

the women’s march on washington.

When the buses arrived at…some kinda stadium…we hopped off and we were on our own to find our way. They told us to be back by a certain time and we set off into the world.

Women’s March 2017 was underway!

I hadn’t been to DC since like, 8th grade, so I had no idea where to go and remember just kind of following the crowd. There were a TON of helpful people that seemed to be working for the march, they were all wearing the same shirts, and they guided us along our way.

One of the best things about the march was these helpful people. They were spread out all over the place and were there to ask questions and keep things organized. As soon as we made it to the area where everyone was, near the Mall, i no longer felt afraid or confused or like something was going to go wrong because these folks were everywhere and I felt they had it under control.

I also felt like all of the attendees, the “marchers,” if you will, were all on their very best behavior. Usually when you’re in a big crowd of people, at least someone or a group of someones will start to get stressed out and in a bad mood and they’ll start being mean or pushing or being loud or making a big deal about someone stepping on their foot. I did not see this happen ONCE at the Women’s March on Washington in 2017. I can’t speak for other women’s marches, but this one seemed to be very solemn and like everyone had pledged to be their best social selves, at least for one day.

Walking around, I remember really, REALLY loving everyone’s signs and outfits and chants and posters and ideas. It was one of those times where everything I saw made me laugh or cry or think, “Dammit I wish I thought of that.”

It seemed like we missed any real definitive “march” moment, or maybe it happened not quite where we were, but we were able to see a few speakers on the mall. They had big TV screens set up so we could see closer, but we were in a spot where we could also see people standing on the stage.

Without thinking too hard, I remember Angela Davis and Janelle Monae most clearly. I’m ashamed to say that I had no idea who Angela Davis was before this day, but after I heard her speech I couldn’t wait to get my hands on her writing. She spoke powerfully and renewed a spirit of activism within me that I hadn’t been paying attention to. I’m 100% sure everyone else listening was equally inspired.

Janelle Monae I remember because I have seen her in concert before and it was cool to also see her in a political capacity. I was glad she was there and to hear her take.

The Mothers of the Movement also joined Monae on stage. I remember this vividly because it really broke my heart to hear them speak and I stood there sobbing quietly. There were more than a few things to sob about throughout the day.

I was just looking at my pictures from the march and it looks like Madonna and Amy Schumer were there and spoke too. But I forgot about them, sry.

After the speakers, the large mass of people continued to “march” but we were kind of confused as to where to go, so we just wandered and admired people’s signs and enjoyed the feeling of sisterhood. Our fears about something bad happening were always kind of there, but calmed down a little by the end.

We came across the Washington Monument and took some pictures there.

As everyone dispersed, the marchers propped their signs against a fence in front of the capitol building, which was a cool display to see on our way out. I kept my sign because I wanted to remember this day forever.

It was an incredible day, one of my most favorites in the history of time. Even the weather cooperated, it was gray and cold but did not rain, THANK GOODNESS.

after the march.

After the Women’s March on Washington we made our way back to the bus, through residential streets in Washington, DC. Again there were a ton of people around to help, both volunteers with the march and local residents being good citizens/neighbors.

We settled back in on the bus and HAD TO WAIT AN HOUR FOR SOME DUDE THAT WAS LOST. I WON’T FORGET THAT. But eventually we were able to get in touch with him and he said to go on without him. K bye.

On the way back I fully watched The OA and spoke to no one. As I said, I was quite burned out on other human beings, even cool ones.

When we got back to JC we received a hero’s welcome at Porta! They gave us drinks and pizza, on them. They were making a point to do this for anyone that went to the march and it was badass. Porta is my heaven, if you were somehow unaware.

The end!

Did you go to the Women’s March on Washington in 2017? Did you go in NYC or LA or somewhere else? Did you make and/or wear a “pussy” hat? Did you happen to go to any marches this year or in 2018 or 2019? Personally I felt like 2017 was enough for now…like we can’t do it every year or it starts to mean less, in my opinion. But I support you if you wanna do it every year, I’ll just join you every 5 years or something like that. See you in 2022.

emo night at porta jersey city.

Last night I attended my most favorite activity at one of my most favorite places and that was a dance party at Emo Night at Porta Jersey City. I am going to devote this post to singing the praises of this event and plan to reach an unprecedented level of hyperbole, even for me.

I’m including the Instagram accounts of the folks involved in planning and putting on this event so you can go check em out, they’re all doing fun shit around the town and some of it you can do along with them!:

@marbearz – boss gal of Porta

@philipnasty – DJ

@goodyalan – DJ

@laurenzilla – she made the art! and was taking pics.

I’ll begin by saying that I was not an emo kid. I was not even close to an emo kid. Have you seen me? I am too loud and smiley, I’m a joiner. I am NOT the counterculture. But my SISTER was an emo kid and since she’s so much cooler than me, I look up to her even though she’s younger, so I learned some emo shit from her.

I mostly learned emo songs from riding around in her car when she picked me up if I was in my hometown for the weekend and drunk during college. Just hearing these yelling, sad, cathartic-to-scream-along-to songs in her car and eventually learning them and screaming them on my own gave me a real appreciation for the emo oeuvre. It’s true. So I eventually became an emo kid BUT ONLY IN MY OWN MIND and I’m probably an emo poseur forever but you’ll just have to deal with it.

So last night was Emo Night at Porta Jersey City and I was very, VERY pumped. Again because I am NOT cool so I get very, VERY pumped about shit. It was billed as a “dance party,” AND OMG THAT IS WHAT IT WAS. Everyone was dancing around and singing the songs. Including me. And I got very, very sweaty. The primary indication of a successful dance party.

You know when it’s the winter and you get really sweaty dancing and then you go outside for a minute and you’re like “WOO!”? Maybe you don’t know, because there aren’t enough dance parties in this god damn world. As far as I’m concerned there should be a dance party every single day. It feels amazing to move around and not care how you’re moving or who else is moving or even if you’re the only one moving. Because the point of a dance party is to move and not care, and those not moving and actually caring are DOING IT WRONG.

It really took me back in a lot of ways. To a younger time, a simpler time, but also an infinitely more emo time. Jersey City is a small town, so everyone’s ex girlfriend or ex boyfriend or ex dog walker or ex favorite waitress or mom’s ex cabana boy was probably there. Around here there’s a very limited pool of other human beings with which to entertain oneself. And people were prob like “eeeek, that’s the EX,” but then it was like, “Screw it! <screams emo song into blow up microphone> <slams blow up microphone on the floor> <does a badass spin/hair flip combo> <chugs cup of water because it’s Dry January, then realizes there is just ice left and the ice hits them in the nose and falls down their shirt> YEAHHHHH!”

Didn’t want to surrender this inflatable mic.

And there’s a bit of nostalgia in that. A bit of high school, a bit of college, a bit of being an immature moron. A certain level of unnecessary intrigue and speculation. Following the nostalgia came gratitude, that there is no longer a reason to concern oneself with these kinds of things because onseselves iz adultz now thx xoxoxo.

But we can still dance and sing our little adult hearts out along to the greatest emo hits of our collective history.

Didn’t get a good pic of us though. 😔

Additionally I didn’t drink a drop of anything that wasn’t straight up water with a splash of water on the rocks and I still had the time of my life. This slightly baffles me because usually I don’t feel like dancing without at least a small drop of some kind of adult beverage, but I was just having so much fun that I went for it. I UNLEASHED THE DRAGON.

Full disclosure, I am a terrible, TERRIBLE dancer and I always have been. I have a very hard time moving around to the beat of the music because I have zero rhythm and now I am DEAF so it’s even harder to hear and to move and to keep up. But I’ve reached a point that I do not care. And maybe this inspires others as well: the same weird drunk dude came up to me three times last night and very sincerely looked into my eyes and said “ I love you,” and I very sincerely told him three times “Thanks but I have a boyfriend,” and he still returned a 4th and final time because he couldn’t resist the siren song of my awkward and rhythm-less dancing so YOU tell ME who is the queen of the dance floor, thx.

As I looked around, I saw many others happily dancing and enjoying themselves immensely as well. There are folks I see out all the time at the usual Jersey City places that are often lurking alone with like, a sad face and a hood on (I guess they are ACTUALLY emo) and even THEY were dancing and I was honestly proud to be alive. I even saw some almost-smiles. I’m not making this up. Emo dance parties save lives.

What I’m saying is, we need to have more dance parties. We need to have more dance parties that include songs that a certain type of person who is in a certain age group range would know and love, I think is what I’m actually saying. Because in order for this kind of dance party to be this fun there has to be some kind of emotional/nostalgic/throwback element that really brings everyone together and gets everyone PUMPED AF.

Am I making too big of a deal about my excitement regarding Emo Night at Porta Jersey City? Maybe, but you should have been there! I sometimes forget the power and influence and emotional effect that music has on my life because it’s a HUGE amount of all of those things and then sometimes I blow it and don’t listen to music for WEEKS in a row and I want to SMACK myself.

I’ll end by saying that Emo Night at Porta Jersey City was a euphoric and transcendent experience, as only a dance party in a hot basement on a cold and dark winter night can be. And then you go outside and you’re all sweaty and steam is flying off of your head. It suddenly seems very quiet, the street is empty. You think about going back in but your ears are ringing and you’re afraid of losing the hearing in your other ear so you decide to call it a night.

Yeah…time to go home.

As I fell asleep last night I thought about how it felt like for the first time in a long time the night lived up to my hopes and expectations. It seems stupid and silly and childish but it did, okay?! PLZ HAVE MORE EMO DANCE PARTIES I AM BEGGING YOU.

Did you go to the Emo Night at Porta Jersey City? Did you love it? If you didn’t love it you can get the hell out of here and don’t come back. What was your favorite song they played? What other types of dance parties do you think Porta should have? What other places should have dance parties?! I’m looking for a dance party a day every day lifestyle. Thx.

crafts and carafes – xmas ornaments.

On Thursday we once again made our way to Porta Jersey City for Crafts and Carafes!

I was extra pumped because I didn’t have to work on Friday so I was planning on having a real Ladies Night and drinking wine and maybe probably talking too loud and annoying people.

Because that’s what I do. And I will submit that I didn’t write a post about crafts and carafes yesterday because I spent most of the day trying to not have a headache. I guess I crafted too hard. It’s not possible to carafe too hard.

But before the headache and Ladies Night it was crafts and carafes and time to make ornaments!


We were given tops of mason jars and circles of paper and strings and ribbons and popsicle sticks and pine tree branches and little bells and all kinds of fun shit!

They tried out a bit of a different set up with a few supplies on each table instead of like a buffet table of supplies. I think it worked out well! It was fun to sit and grab for stuff as I went instead of going up to the buffet table and making my choices there.


I also ordered the ricotta and squash thing again because it’s my everything. It came in a smaller squash and I liked that, it seemed more suitable for one gal than the bigger ones.

Perfect sized acorn squash for a gal on the go.

I made three ornaments and I love them a lot. They also held up pretty well in my purse while I tumbled around the town for the rest of the night.

The ornaments I made!

Another crafts and carafes success!

Except for the headache. I’ll drink more water next time.

thanksgiving eve.

Thanksgiving Eve is the holiday you didn’t ask for. It’s also the high school reunion you didn’t ask for.

I started to write this and then I thought, “Wait maybe I like Thanksgiving Eve? …I don’t know. I can’t decide.”

I think I pretty much dislike most things that take me back to high school world, and that’s a purpose Thanksgiving Eve served for many years.

Is it cliche to LOVE high school or is it cliche to HATE high school? Hashtag “why not both?” I mean I hated it but I feel like people would read that and say “psh, someone like her WOULD <eye roll>.”

I just didn’t like that my high school was so small! I just wanted to do whatever I wanted and not have anyone know or gossip about it or even think about it ever! Why was that so much to ask?!

Maybe Thanksgiving Eve started during college? Is that the day we went home for “Thanksgiving break”? I think the more important question is why I can’t remember.

Okay it’s coming back to me. I think in college we must have gone to The Ship Inn on Thanksgiving Eve. And everyone was like “omggggg hiiiii” and it’s was like <internal eye roll> “omgggg hiiii” right back. Nothing against The Ship Inn though. Love that place.

At one point I believe my sister and her friends chartered an ACTUAL LIMOUSINE to chauffeur them around while they were getting LIT AF on Thanksgiving Eve. Am I remembering this correctly? Let me know.

Thanksgiving Eve became that first “return to home” of adulthood where you haven’t seen everyone you grew up with for a few months and it feels super weird to see them and some of them have different hair or gained 15 or more lbs, or in the the direct inverse developed some kind of Adderall habit and LOST 15 or more lbs, and there’s really no easy way to deal with it. Because it’s essentially your first time as a young person having to make this dumb kind of “catch up small talk” and act like you care. And everyone feels like they have to live up to some kind of standard and bla bla bla and ugh it’s so boring.

For some reason I was thinking about it today and it just made me feel bored and exhausted. And just completely over it. And I felt so glad I’m not doing that tonight. Sorry if you are, sucks to be youuuuu…

Now, as grownup grownups, or like people older than 28, fun stuff happens close to our homes. Our actual homes, not our ancestral homes. I know for a fact that Jersey City has fun shit happening tonight at Porta, Lucky 7, South House, and LITM. And maybe some other places too but I don’t know. Look it up.

I’ve never been around JC for the Thanksgiving Eve fun and I def have FOMO. I have FOMO a lot lately because I haven’t been going out as much. Hope you’re having fun out there without me everyone.

For the last couple of years my friend Kim has been having a wine tasting party at her house in Morristown on Thanksgiving Eve and it has been THE BEST. This year it is postponed because everyone is busy with babies or whatever. Ah well, another thing to add to my “reasons not to have babies” list. (*”Reasons not to have babies but still be cool to the babies related to you and your friends” list).

Well…I guess those are my thoughts on Thanksgiving Eve. What are YOUR thoughts on Thanksgiving Eve? Do you take the day off? Do you travel home on this day? Is it bananas? Do you still have informal high school reunions every year? Have you ever commissioned a STRAIGHT UP LIMO to drive you and your friends around? Just wondering.

crafts and carafes – thanksgiving edition.

Last night I returned to Porta Jersey City for Crafts and Carafes! I freakin love crafting. We made Thanksgiving centerpieces.

I made Thanksgiving centerpieces at Porta’s Crafts and Carafes last year as well, so I was pumped AF for round 2!

Last year we used old liquor bottles and painted them, but this year it was all about the little glass jars. We had ribbons and straw and burlap and lacy stuff to put around the jars.

I selected 3 jars and some fall colored ribbons and burlap. Personally I didn’t like the sillier ribbons with pumpkins on them. I wanted to keep it very grown up and tasteful.

I’m an adult.

I didn’t get any of these beans because I believe some children ravaged them and threw them all over the place. Heathens. I don’t really like most children unless I’m related to them or a close friend is. There I said it.

My friend and I made a new friend who was kind enough to let us use her heavy duty hot glue gun. This was a DEWALT HOT GLUE GUN. LIKE THE TOOLS. WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT?!

Omg do you see the glue gun back there?!

I drank a 20% off house white carafe and didn’t drink enough water. I think you know what I’m getting at.

In process.


In addition to the crafts and carafes I also got this acorn squash with ricotta. It seemed like it was a good way to get some vegetables. Sneak some in. Just put some cheese on them and they’re acceptable.

As usual our hosts Chandra and Mallory were super helpful and efficient at running the whole Crafts and Carafes shebang and also doing some crafting/having fun (perhaps carafing but I can’t be sure) alongside us.

Totally pumped to bring these home to my parents’ house next week for Thanksgiving!


Have you made any Thanksgiving crafts? Do you plan to? While we’re on that, what are your plans for Thanksgiving?! I am so excited for Thanksgiving I can’t even stand it.

PS – we’re going to start a book club with the new friend we met at Crafts and Carafes and that’s a story for another day but I’m ECSTATIC about that.