bread and salt bakery.

Bread and Salt Bakery in the Jersey City Heights – there is always a ridiculous line outside. And I’m like “no thanks regarding the bread and salt because shan waits for no man and also waits on no lines because lines are for losers and we can just go on another day when the line is less loser-y.”

Saturday was that day. I’m going to say again that nothing is worth a line like that…NOTHING! So I want you to keep that in mind plz. Don’t go stressing yourself out over this place just because the New York Times or whoever said you should.

It’s just food. It’s just pizza. Pizza is very, VERY IMPORTANT TO ME. AND TO YOU TOO I AM SURE. BUT NO PIZZA IS WORTH THE LINE THAT LEAKS OUT THE DOOR OF BREAD AND SALT AND DOWN PALISADE. GET A LIFE.

Okay, I’m over the line.

But like, why IS the line? Well, first of all, the New York Times, as I said. They’ve already ruined Razza and I will never go there again. Their pizza is great but like…it’s not that serious. If you’re going to make it that serious I don’t even want it. Maybe I’m not over the line.

So is it just bread and salt? What if it was JUST bread and salt? Bread with salt sprinkled on it and that was the whole place? I’d wait in line for that.

JK no I wouldn’t.

Bread and Salt has pizza! And it’s yummy! And it’s hard for me to keep track of all the kinds of pizza but there is like: brick oven, Detroit, Chicago, New Jersey elementary school Friday night pizza party, dollar pizza, etc. Some of these pizza genres are like comparing apples and oranges when you compare them to each other. But SOME are like comparing oranges and grapefruits. And this Bread and Salt pizza was an oranges to grapefruits situation to like…the pizza I’ve had at Alla Pala in Eataly. BUT it was an apples to oranges comparison to the amahhhzing Detroit style pizza they have at Low Fidelity also on Palisade Ave but never has a line.

THAT IS JUST AN FYI.

I had a “crazy” plan to go to Bread and Salt very early in the evening, right when it opened, to see if it would be as ridiculous. And it wasn’t! The line was fully contained inside of the building and we only waited for like 10 minutes. It seemed like there were a lot of people there but people would order, find a table, eat their food, then leave. Everyone kept up pretty well with this social contract and I didn’t notice any lingerers. There was limited seating so this particular social contract was V IMPORTANT.

Once we got to the counter, my companion and I selected a few different slices and we were pumped to try them. We also wanted to get a cannoli but they were already out. It was 6pm. They opened at 5:30pm. These things frustrate me but I guess it’s the price you pay for fresh foods.

It wasn’t hard to find a table (although it was a shared table and there was a baby I’m not related to already sitting there so that annoyed me. But again, the price you pay for freah foods. And for living as a human being in public among other human beings, some of them babies not related to me).

Our food was ready pretty quickly and it was time to get down to BIZNASS.

I’ll start with the one we hated. It was a white slice and we were thinking it might have like a truffle thing going on so I checked it for mushrooms. The good news was, no mushrooms! The bad news was it had some very serious cheese on it. Maybe like a Gorgonzola? Whoever he was, he was very disagreeable. I finished it because I felt I had to, but my associate scoffed at his and left it behind.

It was probably our fault we hated it because we didn’t ask what was in it. We didn’t ask what was in any of them. What is wrong with us?! We just blindly chose them. Maybe we won’t do that next time.

Beware the white slice.

The others we enjoyed! There was a spicy sausage and potato one, another sausage and kale one, and a more plain just sauce and cheese one. They were all delicious!

Best of all, it was only like $23 for all that shit. I thought it would be way more and when the friendly dude with the iPad rang us up and said “$23” we both jumped over the counter to embrace him. We really did.

So yeah, its a great place! And you should go try out Bread and Salt, at 435 Palisade Ave in the Jersey City Heights. It’s worth the trip up there. Actually the heights isn’t even that far “up” anywhere. Get over it.

But I’ll remind you one more time, nothing is worth waiting in a line that goes out the door so if that’s what you find when you get there I’d say take it elsewhere until conditions improve. You’re welcome.

PS – It’s worth noting that after we ate this delicious pizza we were overwhelmed by its greatness and fell right to sleep and missed the closing reception for Circle the Square at Deep Space Gallery. Like our whole Saturday night went down the drain. So I guess plan for that too.

should you send out your laundry?

There comes a time in all of our lives when we ask ourselves “Should I send out my laundry?” And the answer is yes. Yes you should send out your laundry. It is the greatest invention of all time.

When was sending out your laundry invented? Hold please…Okay I could only find when laundromats were invented but the specific processes conducted at those laundromats were not described.

Perhaps we’ll never know.

I DO know that sending out my laundry was invented for me personally when I moved to the Jersey City Heights in January 2008. Part of selecting our apartment was, “It’s by a laundromat!”

Because I grew up in the middle of nowhere and everyone had a washer and dryer at their house I didn’t even realize what a laundromat was even LIKE. I only knew of them from movies and from posing for a pic in a laundromat this one time in Milford.

So when I first moved I was like “I can do the laundromat! Frankly I LOVE the laundromat!” And I had my little cart and I would haul my laundry down the stairs and over there and I would be there for like 4 hours washing and drying my clothes. Sometimes I would read, sometimes I would watch terrible children’s TV. Then I would load all of my clothes back on the little cart and make my way home and drag the clothes up the stairs.

I grew tired of this after a month, and I started to “send out” my laundry.

At this point in history I still had to haul it over there and then haul it home but it was still way better than sitting there for four hours.

In my next apartment, the building next door had laundry facilities that we had access to, but next to THAT building was a dry cleaning/laundry joint. Again I tried to do the right thing and use the facilities provided but there were a bunch of dumbass frat boys living in that building and they never moved their clothes but they would always move MY clothes and I was outraged.

So I would drag my laundry back and forth but just to next door.

Finally I arrived at an apartment where I had a laundry closet situation right outside my front door, in the foyer of the building. I could go out there in my underwear. And I did.

This washer and dryer served us well for about 6 years and then it pretty much gave up and we would have to use double the quarters for the dryer and it still wouldn’t work. It was a waste of time and money.

IT WAS TIME TO SEND OUT MY LAUNDRY.

I use a company called “Senor Bubbles,” they are based in The Heights. They will come and pick up your laundry AND dry cleaning and then they will bring it back. You don’t have to drag it anywhere…beyond your home, I still have to drag mine up two flights of stairs.

They come in a van and pick up the dirty laundry. AND THEN THEY RETURN IT and it is clean and folded.

You can fill out your pick up and drop off time on the Internet and they will text you when they’re 5 minutes away.

Senor Bubbles pisses me off sometimes because they come way before or way after the previously decided and agreed upon by both parties time window. They need to not do that. They need to stop.

Beyond that, Senor Bubbles is great, and sending out my laundry is great and I love it. The way that clothes smell is very, very important to me so I pay a little extra to get the good detergent (Tide) and fabric softener (Downy). IT IS WORTH IT BECAUSE IT SMELLS GOOD.

It is everything I’ve ever wanted and more. So if you’re thinking, “Should I send out my laundry?” The answer is…SEND OUT YOUR LAUNDRY BYE.

jersey city date night.

I’m heading home to my parents’ house for the weekend and I’m going to miss Jersey City as I always do. So I’m going to take this moment to reflect on a recent badass Jersey City date night.

I don’t know about you but I like date nights to be in more than one place. Like, drinks here, snack there, dessert there. I mean basically drinks everywhere but you’re going more than one place on this date, is what I’m saying.

Date face.

Downtown Jersey City is the perfect place for this because everything is within walking distance. Okay maybe not “everything” but there are quite a few things you can walk to.

On our Jersey City date night we went to Franklin Social, dullboy, and Fox and Crow. Franklin Social and dullboy are downtown, and Fox and Crow is in the heights. Franklin Social is the new new so I was excited to try it.

Okay here we go.

franklin social.

First stop, Franklin Social! And it’s Franklin as in Benjamin Franklin. Which I…frankly…find odd because he’s a historical character that Philadelphia usually fawns over, not NJ or NY. I love a Philadelphia jawn but I’m just saying it’s out of place. It’s fine though I’ll take it. He was apparently a cool guy besides all the normal white dudes being shitty in history stuff.

This place was PJ Ryan’s previously, which I was bored by. I’m sorry PJ Ryan’s but you weren’t my fav. I wish you well though.

Now it looks totally diff and also great in there! Warm looking simple wood kinda vibes in front and really fun patterned wallpaper in the back. There’s also a middle courtyard kind of area that has tables for nicer weather times, however far away they may be. <sobs>

We sat in the back wallpapered part. I got a cocktail first. Their cocktail menu has drinks named after different…virtues? “Frugality,” “Chastity,” “Temperance”…ugh I hate and oppose all of these concepts but it’s fun to have cocktails called different types of words so I’ll give them that. I forget which one I got but there was something in it that didn’t speak to me so I ordered a sparkling white next and that made all my dreams come true.

For food, we decided to share some things because we like to eat many different things and you gotta keep the magic alive somehow.

First we had hummus which was pretty good. It didn’t come with enough chip-like items to dip so we asked for more chip-like items and they arrived without delay so that was grand.

My choice for a small plate was the fried delicata rings. I really enjoy delicata squash and I was pumped, but I don’t know why I thought I would like something fried because I usually don’t like stuff that is arbitrarily fried. And I didn’t. But I DID pick the fried part off easily and just ate the squash dipped in the delish accompanying sauce so that was a win.

Our shared entree was scallops, THE GREATEST ENTREE IN THE LAND. I FREAKING LOVE SCALLOPS. They freak me out if I think too hard about what they actually are…like what ARE they? But I try not to think about that and just move forward thx.

The scallops were served in a puddle of what we surmised was some kind of puréed root vegetable and it was REAL GOOD. They also had a bit of sweet stuff on them like a maple or something? And then broccolini. YUM.

Dessert was two chocolate truffles and they were also REAL GOOD YOU GUYS.

This is a weird pic but this is the truffles. Deal with it.

dullboy.

Next up was dullboy. I love dullboy! They have great cocktails and wines and fun snacks. I think their burger is also good but I don’t eat burgers, I’ve only HEARD it was good.

I love the atmosphere there, typewriters and a whole library of books hanging on the wall. But not on shelves, like stuck to the wall in a big mass of books and you can see all their covers. Maybe I’m not explaining this well. I guess you just have to go to see.

Book wall behind my date.

The theme is from The Shining and the whole “all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy” thing. But i only know that because people told me that. I’ve never seen The Shining. I’m sorry.

Sry never saw it.

On this particular Jersey City date night they had some special decorations! Because it was Valentine’s Day! The table was covered in rose petals which I thought was really glam. It’s already so dark and cozy in there it is really perfect for a date. Like, a good date with someone you actually like and want to be romantic with, a first date so you can hide in the darkness and weigh the whole thing out and the other person can’t really see you, a date with someone you’re just hooking up with, again because of the darkness, so other people in town that you’re hooking up with can’t really see you together on a “date”…the list goes on! Highly recommend! Mostly for the cozy darkness.

Romance!

There was a plan in place to get oysters here but I think they only have those on Tuesdays and we blew it. But we DID get some very flavorful Brussels sprouts. I kinda went through a Brussels phase where I was super into them and then I got over them. But when they’re flavored really well I’m back in love with them again and THESE WERE.

Bad pic but GOOD BRUSSELS.

I got a cute little bottle of wine, a sparkling rose. They have “cute little bottles” (not an official name unforch) of wine there that are like 2 or 3 glasses I guess. I don’t know I lost count. But it was good.

Little guy! Cute!

keyhole.

Oh! Curveball! Did you think I was going to forget Keyhole? BECAUSE I DIDN’T. Keyhole is a dive that has recently un-dived itself slightly but it has retained its charm.

I believe it used to be called “Rolon’s” but people call it Keyhole because it has windows that are shaped like Keyholes. Boom. That’s what it’s called now.

In Jersey City people are always competing to be like “I lived here first” and Keyhole is a cornerstone of this competition. People that remember Keyhole as a “real dive” where “old dudes used to play <some game for old dudes, I forget>” are like the “real true Jersey City residents.” Okay guys. Cool. We get it.

But I will say that I DO remember when it was that version of Keyhole and I also remember storming in there in like 2010 and being like “Haiiii what IPAs do you guys have on tap?” And they were like “WTF bitch we only have Bud heavies move it or lose it.” And all the old guys playing whatever old guy game it is they were playing in there did not know what to make of THAT and I blushed for one of the very few times in my life.

So yes we went to Keyhole on our Jersey City date night! And it was grand. I really do love that place. It’s straightforward and people are friendly there and they have food menus from local restaurants that deliver there since they don’t serve much food and I love that. Omg sometimes they have chili in a crock pot and hot dogs like on a Sunday…okay this is turning into a Keyhole Appreciation Post, sry. PS it’s cash only just so you’re prepared if you ever wanna go. Ur welcome.

fox and crow.

Last stop was Fox and Crow! Fox and Crow is in The Heights and the first time I went there I was like where even IS this?! But now my boyfriend lives around the corner so I’m like oh that’s where it is.

I don’t remember what I drank there but it was probably wolffers rose cider because they have it and I wouldn’t think of drinking anything else when wolffers rose cider is in the cooler, my dudes.

The best thing about Fox and Crow is that they have live music and it’s like, dignified seeming live music. Like some jazzy jazz. And it’s fun and relaxing to go in there and sit down with a drink and get jazzed with the jazz.

Also any time I’m in a room with a standup bass I just want to be its best friend. I love those big ol things. It’s like the whale of the instrument word, all big and beautiful and making haunting sounds.

I guess that was a weird analogy but I’ll leave it.

It was a great Jersey City date night! And I hope to do it again soon. Do you enjoy a Jersey City date night or two? What places do you like to go to? Have you tried anywhere new? Let me know because I want to try new things TOO.

a jersey city friendsgiving.

Yesterday I attended a Jersey City Friendsgiving! I love Thanksgiving A LOT and therefore I love Friendsgiving A LOT because it is an EXTRA THANKSGIVING and like WHY NOT?!

What should you bring to a Jersey City Friendsgiving? I made these cookies and they didn’t turn out how I wanted visually but I think they were still delicious and I was proud to bring them.

Creepy Tillie cookies

When I arrived some dudes were finishing up the cooking and I did what I could to help. Doing what I could to help involved sitting there and practicing taking photos with the “real” camera I’m trying to learn how to use. I know how to use a “real” video camera from my days as a road dawg but not a still camera. I don’t know why I’m having trouble. I guess I’m old.

My boyfriend cooking
Dude cooking.

More and more people began to arrive and some brought dogs! Jersey City has many dogs, so a Jersey City Friendsgiving will naturally have many canine pals attending. One dog was a Dalmatian puppy called “Inky” and I thought her name was “Yankee” for like 3 hours and then her mom was like “No INKY hehe” and I felt silly but I’m deaf in one ear and nothing can be done. So I’ll go on confusing Inkys with Yankees until the end of time. Inky was still cute either way. Also a Yorkie called Archie, the two resident house dogs, a Jack Russell/pug mix named Whiskey and a bull terrier named Ellie, and an unidentified Pomeranian, I didn’t catch their name. Dogs make everything that is great EVEN GREATER.

Beautiful sunset in The Heights
Friendsgiving sunset! Made greater by dogs.

I was super pumped because I heard that this Jersey City Friendsgiving party was going to have a deep fried turkey! Which I have never eaten or even seen in person, just in YouTube disaster videos. I was confident this one wouldn’t become a disaster video because a real live chef was the boss of it.

Fryer with bananas inside
Fryer!

The fryer was turned on and warmed up, and many things were fried. Bananas and Oreos and other types of cookies covered in pancake batter. I dropped one cookie in very excitedly and said “WOO!” But hot oil splashed everywhere and my actions were deemed “unsafe.” And I’m sorry. I had had too many raspberry White Claws already (I had had TWO raspberry White Claws, which at this season in my life is frankly and embarrassingly too many).

Bananas to fry.
Fried bananas on sticks
Bananas fried and bananas to fry.
Fried bananas on sticks
Bananas fried, chocolate and caramel sauces and powdered sugar added ❤️

Apple, vegetable, and bacon/cheese fritters were also concocted in this fryer. All before the turkey even went in! I ate more than one of each fryer item and I woke up in the middle of the night last night and felt ILL thinking about it but it was great when it was happening. And I guess that’s all I can ask for.

Fritters
Fritters.

Other pre meal appetizers included some bison chili with wild rice and cornbread, and a lovely butternut squash soup. Omg and also this “Mexican street corn” popcorn. WTF it was so good.

Then the turkey was deep fried!

Professional cauldron of turkey.

Soon enough, all of the sides were ready and the turkey was ready and it was time to feast!

Cooked turkey in pan
Finished turkey!

I chose some of everything because I wanted some of everything so that was that.

My plate of Thanksgiving food
My selections.

One of my favorite things about Thanksgiving is that all of the foods are brown or beige and that is okay. No one is making you eat vegetables and you don’t have to feel bad about it. And if vegetables are there it’s merely as guest stars. Or like not really stars, just guests. Guests that you tolerate.

Succotash
Marginally tolerable vegetables.

While we were eating one of the dudes in attendance put on this show called “Off The Air”from Adult Swim. It was an animal episode and it’s everything I’ve ever wanted to see on TV and in the world so I need to watch the rest of the series. Also I can’t believe I never watched it before and I am ashamed.

After feasting we continued to make merry and lit a fire outside and some of us jumped in the hot tub! We tried very hard to orchestrate a picture in the hot tub with the turkey carcass and we eventually talked someone into taking one and I’m not sure where that picture is but I hope I see it someday.

Turkey
This is just another pic of the turkey.

Speaking of guests that you tolerate, one gal drank too much in the hot tub and tried to make out with someone’s boyfriend and had to be rescued from…herself? Such is the way of a Jersey City Friendsgiving. We’ve all been there.

After the hot tub rescue I came across this BANANA PUDDING MADE WITH CHESSMEN. WHAT. This was everything I ever wanted and I ate a ton of it.

Banana pudding
The pudding.

Following the chessmen banana pudding, I went upstairs to go to sleep because it was 9:30pm and I needed to wake up at 6am to go to the gym. Unfortunately I’m an adult.

Banana pudding
ONE MORE OF THE PUDDING.

I was able to sleep but did hear continued merrymaking downstairs until about 1am, and it seemed like it was grand.

This morning when I awoke I saw that no one had eaten the creepy cookies I made because they were underneath some other things. Or maybe because they were creepy. But I left them there because I can’t have them at my own house because I would eat them all until I threw up. So there’s that.

Do you and your friends do Friendsgiving? What do you love about it? What do you hate about it? What would you do differently? Do you also have a hot tub? What about dogs? Can I meet your dogs? Cool, thx.

big balloons.

Yesterday we celebrated Nick’s birthday at Low Fidelity in The Heights, one of my top 3 JC bars. And I guess Nick’s too because he chose it. And I brought big balloons!

I’ve never gotten these big basic bitch balloons for anyone’s birthday before and I was excited to try it!

I ordered them from Party City on 14th st and walked down from where I work by Madison Square Park to pick them up.

Then I carried them back up 5th ave. Then I took them on the 23rd st PATH train to Hoboken.

My view on the PATH train.

Then I walked to Pie66, a new “concept” (wut?) by Bucket and Bay. This was apple crumble and it was REAL GOOD YOU GUYS.

Then I carried the big balloons and the pie down First st all the way west across Hoboken and walked up the Second St stairs to Low Fidelity in the heights. This was very serious business.

People I encountered were curious or excited or hateful about the big balloons. It was a mixed bag and honestly quite difficult to know how people were going to react to the big balloons and there were surprises at every turn in every leg of the journey.

Children loved them. They looked up at them in awe and yelled “Balloons!” or “Birthday!” or “Woo!” or something I couldn’t understand but it seemed positive. Their nannies shuffled them along.

Families of tourists were also delighted. They stood in their groups in front of Eataly (ALWAYS IN THE GOD DAMN WAY) and stared at me and looked at each other and stared back at me and looked at each other again and said some shit I again couldn’t understand but again seemed positive.

Regular NYC people walking around on errands or on their lunch break or to get somewhere were NOT pleased because they are NEVER pleased by anything slightly in the way or out of the ordinary and just want to plow past it and let out a big exasperated sigh and roll their eyes. I was inconveniencing them. I know this because when I see people going too slow or taking up more space than they’re allotted to take up on the sidewalk I also feel inconvenienced and therefore outraged.

We don’t like to be inconvenienced in these parts.

More than one person yelled “Happy Birthday!” And I was like DO I LIKE 40 TO YOU?! JEEZUZ.

A dad with his like 2 year old was all “Looks like someone is turning 0-4 harhar.” Shut up.

Two little skater dudes skated by on the sidewalk and I kinda jumped because I didn’t see them and the one was like “sorry ma’am!” And I was like “no! Oh no you didn’t do anything wrong!” Because I’m not a regular ma’am, I’m a cool ma’am. And the other one was like “Have a good birthday!” And they cruised away down First St and I was like well I guess I DO look 40 to the YOUTH.

The big balloons are my only friends now.

The most treacherous part was when I brought the balloons into the PATH station and down the stairs and up the stairs again, and there is that INTENSE SUCKING TORNADO WIND that you never notice is happening until you wear a skirt in the summer and it blows up over your waist and everyone sees your underwear if you happen to be wearing any and you’re like “who put this wind here?!” That wind almost killed the big balloons. Actually I do think it seriously injured one of the confetti ones. It was never the same after that. Frankly it just phoned it in for the rest of the night.

I really think the big balloons were a hit! At the end of the night Nick popped the 4 though. He said he didn’t but he was the one holding the 4 and it popped so I’ll leave that for you to decide. And it’s okay! It was his party and he’ll pop the 4 if he wants to.

Nick’s childhood pal saying “This is what 40 feels like.”

Thanks to everyone that came to hang! <3

busy bee organics.

It was a beautiful fall weekend and I did a ton of cool shit so I’m just going to keep rolling with telling you about that.

My boyfriend (man friend? partner? lover?) just moved to the Heights and I’ve been going bananas exploring what the Heights has to offer. Jersey City Heights. Not the other Heights. I feel like I’ve confused more than a few Uber drivers talking about this.

I lived in the Heights a decade ago and although I loved it, it was a different land then and did not have the same cool stuff. That’s just the way it goes and I’m sorry.

We always walk past Busy Bee Organics and I can’t stop eating any food ever so this Sunday we decided to go in and see how much of their food I could eat.

First of all this place is fucking adorable. I can’t. There are bees all over the place and bees are very special and we really need to respect and consider their very existence right now so it was great to see bees held in a place of esteem. It really was. Also there was an actual live bee in there buzzing around but I’m not even mad at bees anymore and I let them land on my hand or in my snack and I don’t give them a hard time because they have enough to deal with. Like they’re pretty much going extinct so let’s just let them have some space and enjoy the time they have left. And that’s that.

Bee.

It was also decorated SO CUTE for the fall season and I’m a sucker for that. But like, who isn’t.

Fall, y’all.

I believe their “thing” is these “buffins” but I had already eaten real breakfast and just wanted a sweet treat or ten so I didn’t get one of these. GUESS THAT MEANS I GOTTA GO BACK HARHAR.

I got one almond cookie with tahini seeds and I like both of these things separately but I’m sorry to say I did not like them together. You can’t win ‘em all.

What I DID like was this peanut butter Samoa cookie. Oh yes, that’s the stuff.

They had samples available of their banana bread (YUM) and a pumpkin pecan bar thing (ALSO YUM).

That’s pretty much it. It was a great place even though I didn’t like the almond tahini cookie but I would go back to try any other outlandish or less outlandish thing they make and also to commune with and celebrate bees.

How sunny and cozy and freakin nice is this?!

Have you been? Have you tried the buffins? What are your thoughts? Do you like bees and respect their struggle? You should.

“Wasn’t hungry” 😒