madame claude at white eagle hall.

During Normal Times™️ White Eagle Hall was a fun, fab, fantastic place to see live music in Jersey City. I saw some of my most favs there: Best Coast, Waxahatchee, The Black Lips. LIFE WAS GOOD.

Life isn’t that good now but we DO have the option of dining at Madame Claude AT White Eagle Hall and I think that’s pretty great, you guys.

We can eat food and drink drinks AND hear live music! The folks playing the music walk around and play the music! We can be inside this really cool historic building that I actually really, REALLY missed and have a great night!

Last night we really had a great night.

I had a TON of La vie en rose cocktails. Definitely lost count but it was a ton.

A TON.

The La vie en rose cocktail has lychee and vodka and some other stuff but I was mostly in it for the lychee. And the lychee was in it for ME.

We had a charcuterie board as an appetizer. Because we do what we must.

For my entree I chose the salmon. IT WAS INCRED. GET THE SALMON YOU GUYS.

They were kind enough to allow us to outsource dessert because it was my friend’s bday. Like they let her bring in a tray of banana pudding from baonanas and a delicious cake. The birthday desserts were EXCEPTIONAL and I was glad we got to have them.

All night the band played jazzy music on stage and it set a wonderful mood.

It was a great choice of birthday venue for my pal and I’d love to go back.

The end.

the empowering.

Last Sunday, aka Valentine’s Day, I attended “The Empowering,” curated by Danielle Scott, at 150 Bay St for an art lap or two before we continued the February holiday festivities. An “art lap” is when you do a lap around a gallery and look at the art. Context clues, people. Usually at least 2 laps are necessary to get a good feel for the show and I’m glad to report I got those reps IN.

It’s clear I had too much fun last weekend with Galentine’s/Valentine’s and the mental clarity I prefer to have when reflecting upon and writing about such things isn’t there, but I’d like to tell you a little bit about it because my overall memory of it is “woo!”

We had some cocktails at home before so the spirit of “woo!” was already high as we arrived, exited our Uber, and ascended the stairs.

I then did my best to tone down the “woo!” slightly because this was a solemn and thoughtful social justice exhibition and I needed to respect that. And there was some really great art which I will share with you now.

Old talks with New Icons : Man in Yellow Pants by Philip A. Robinson Jr
“Goddesses” by Anthony E. Boone on left. “Shopping Cart” by Mashell Black on right.

I stood and looked at this one for a long time because it’s large and there are a lot of different details.

“Trayvon Martin” by Ben F. Jones

It’s still so strange to see art or photos or any type of media with people wearing masks and realizing this is every day life now. To the extent that seeing folks WITHOUT masks is kind of jarring.

Black and white images on left by Sy Battle. Images on far right by Professor Ameerah Shabaaz-Bilal.
by Ruler Silkcity
by Orlando Cuevas

This eagle and toy soldiers really spoke to me. Because there’s an eagle and that’s a bird but also because I loved the colors. It looks like a sunset.

“Uprising” by Michael Endy

Of course this is my fav because birds. And also…BONES.

“Winged Victory” by Carol Quint

The Empowering is at 150 Bay St until March 21 and you can make an appointment to go on Saturday or Sunday between 1pm and 4pm via Eventbrite: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/the-empowering-tickets-137705323329

Check it out!

miracle on mercer.

Last week-ish I went to Miracle on Mercer with some pals and I had an enjoyable and festive time.

I’ll warn you now, I didn’t really get any good pics and I’m sorry.

Miracle on Mercer is actually Franklin Social in disguise. But shh, don’t tell because some people still believe in Santa.

It’s beautifully decorated indoors and out! We sat outside because we all pretty much like it better that way, in these times. Luckily we were right underneath a heater but even if we weren’t I think it would have been fine. The “breezeway” area we were in was warm enough overall.

The heater.

There were tons of lights and some cute old fashioned decorations and bows and snow sprayed on the window.

I WAS REALLY INTO IT.

The whole point of Miracle on Mercer is to have silly Xmas cocktails AND WE DID.

Just like everywhere they had the link to their menu on the table because menus are dirty germ factories and maybe we should actually never have them again. But this one had a cute reindeer on it!

I got the “Jingle Balls Nog” with the intention of trying something else after. But then I just got like 3 more nogs.

For many years I scoffed at the nog but frankly the nog is where it’s at. I have a renewed interest in drinks as dessert because I’m trying to minimize overall consumption and maybe shed some of my quarantine 20 so my fav clothes fit again. So, two birds one stone.

Even though that expression is mean and if I EVER see you going around throwing stones at birds I WILL END YOU.

We also got a couple of rounds of “Nice Shots” (rum, peppermint tea, chocolate) as a group. And they were grand. If all shots were fun like this I would be more excited when people are like, “I’ll buy you a shot!” But at other bars all I really have to choose from is Fireball and everyone always acts stuck up about that and it’s like we can’t ALL be “‘cool’ girls that drink whisk(e)y neat” or whatever so just CALM DOWN.

“Nice Shot” on the right.

I didn’t get any snackies this time around but I have eaten there in the past and it was yummy enough. One of my pals got the Potato Croquettes and they looked pretty good. I wasn’t mad about it.

Miracle on Mercer will be Miracle on Mercer-ing until December 31 at 292 Barrow St in Downtown Jersey City. Okay before you get all FREAKED OUT about it, Mercer is the CROSS STREET because it is on A CORNER.

HAVE FUN.

baonanas.

Times are tough, anxiety is at a record high overall for everyone according to science, and everything pretty much sucks. So, I’d like to write about something that brings me joy and that is Baonanas.

Baonanas is Jersey City born and raised banana pudding and frankly it’s everything that’s right with the world.

I personally love banana pudding and would put it in my top 3 favorite desserts, right next to vanilla cupcakes with vanilla frosting and coconut sprinkled on top, and any chocolate based ice cream. It is that good.

The combo of incredibly sweet bananas, made so sweet by nature alone, combined with ‘nilla wafers and some kinda pudding stuff, is truly bliss in a cup. And Baonanas serves it with a fun little wooden spoon! So you can eat it slower! So you can feel like there is MORE.

Baonanas first came into my life when I got it at the sadly defunct Jersey City WORD bookstore cafe. I was just there for my usual black Stumptown cold brew, I SWEAR, and I spotted banana pudding in their cooler. And I was like <screams maniacally and disturbs the whole store> “IS THAT BANANA PUDDING?!”

Yes, yes it was.

For a long time I just got it there! It was right by where I lived! It was great!

Eventually I ended up at the famed weekend feast know as Smorgasburg (orgasburg, orgasburg) in Brooklyn and Baonanas was there!

Once again doing my best to make this a relevant and respected cultural reference for the whole world, not just inside my own head. thx.

I was so excited to tell my Brooklyn and NYC pals they were from JC!

SUCK IT, BROOKLYN.

JKJK I like Brooklyn but this banana pudding is fully JERSEY’S, thank you.

They have a spot in Harborside Financial Center and I’m not really ever over there so I haven’t gone. But I HAVE gotten delivery from there. Yes they deliver! It’s magical.

But the best news OF ALL is that they now have a full-on brick and mortar flagship store on Monticello Ave.

I moved up to “The Hill” from downtown a couple of years ago and it’s different, as far as food and drink options are concerned. You have to work a little harder to find them but they’re there. And I’m so glad Baonanas is one of them!

I think where they’re located is considered McGinley Sq, but it’s a short 10min walk from my home in The Hill and I’m very glad about it. I went over there a couple of weekends ago, on my way to drop off my ballot, to sit outside and enjoy a special fruity drink and some OG Baonanas.

The OG Baonanas is the best! They have a ton of different fun flavors, but I always go back to the OG. As I said above, a traditional banana pudding rounds out my top 3 most favorite desserts and I’m obsessed with dessert so that is REALLY saying something.

Their shop on Monticello is super adorable and very yellow. Like sunshine! And bananas…I guess. There is a sign hanging outside that is painted over yellow that I believe is an old Breyer’s Ice Cream sign maybe? I’m not sure but I love that they kept the old sign. I love an old sign I’m not kidding.

It was incredibly nice to sit outside on Monticello as well. I believe they also have music out there on the weekends. I didn’t see any when I was there and it may be done now because the impending doom of winter is upon us. But I know they did it most weekends when it was warm out.

As of this posting we still don’t have the President we want so you may be in need of a treat…I know I am. So go check out Baonanas! It’s delish! As I said they’re in Harborside Financial Center, and their McGinley Sq locaish/HQ is at 181 Monticello Ave. GO. GO NOW. GO BAONANASSSSS.

Social distancing and safety! 💕

ghost of uncle joe’s 2020.

I went to Ghost of Uncle Joe’s 2020 on Saturday evening and it…was fun. That’s all I really have to say about it as I 100% dropped the ball on taking notes. I didn’t even get any acceptable photos.

What a nightmare.

The event itself wasn’t a nightmare. Just my handling of it as a classically trained journalist. Even thought blogs aren’t journalism and no one should ever believe they are.

UNLESS YOU MEAN LIKE A SPOOKY HALLOWEEEEEN NIGHTMAREEE?!

Because it WAS that.

If you would like more in-depth, researched, and professional coverage of Ghost of Uncle Joe’s as a whole please see my post from last year.

As for this year I will say: I loved the Jimmy Eat World cover band. Like give me Jimmy Eat World in any capacity and I will be fully satisfied.

I also loved the cool backdrops to take photos in front of. I should have tried harder to get good photos but I didn’t and that’s on me. The backdrops provided were fantastic and I could have probably gotten some fun stuff.

The event was BYOB which I also loved but maybe that contributed to me not taking good notes or photos. I did drink like three homemade iced Irish coffees and no less than 26 Michelob Ultras.

Finally, they had a fun little cartoon ghost mascot wearing a leather jacket this year and OBVIOUSLY I’m obsessed with his cute little cartoon ass so I got a tote bag with him on it. And that was a victory.

That’s all I got. Sorry.

ghost of uncle joe’s dress rehearsal.

Last night we attended the Ghost of Uncle Joe’s “dress rehearsal” at Corgi Spirits and we had a grand evening.

In 2020 we have lost a lot of the good things left in this sick sad world and I was scared that the annual Ghost of Uncle Joe’s event would be one of the fallen. But lucky for us the ol ghost is back in a big way this year, despite COVID and social distancing and the overall downfall of our society.

Ghost of Uncle Joe’s is going to happen over two weekends this year! There’s a Ghost of Uncle Joe’s tonight! A Ghost of Uncle Joe’s tomorrow! A Ghost of Uncle Joe’s next Friday! And a cherry on top Ghost of Uncle Joe’s next Saturday on actual Halloween!

I’m obviously going on Halloween.

Here’s the schedule for your informaish:

But in addition to these future Ghosts they did a little warm up Ghost last night.

The cover bands were Bob Dylan, The Kinks, Janis Joplin, and Green Day. There were also “special guests”advertised but I didn’t stay the whole time so I don’t know who that ended up being.

And I’m sorry.

I mostly went for Janis Joplin because I LOVE singing Janis for karaoke and I was pumped to see another group of folks be excited about pretending to be Janis and her band.

And I wasn’t disappointed! The Janis cover band was great! I made a ton of Instagram story videos and tagged my mom in them. Just because.

Corgi was set up safely and comfortably with tables spread out and Adirondack chairs. I haven’t been spending enough time sitting in Adirondack chairs these days and that’s a real problem.

They make gin at Corgi and that’s pretty much all they serve so that’s what we were drinking!

I enjoyed a couple of Raspberry Beret cocktails (gin, raspberry syrup, lemon juice, egg white) but then switched over to Cafe Arancia cocktails (gin, espresso, coffee liqueur) and those were AMAZING. Super into coffee in cocktails these days.

It was a really fun Thursday night and it made me very happy that we could hang out and drink and watch live music safely and responsibly.

Check out the Ghost of Uncle Joe’s, by Dancing Tony, this weekend and next weekend at The Historic Jersey City Harsimus Cemetary! You can get tickets here.

hot goss.

Hey, hi what’s the hot goss?

JK don’t tell me I don’t care.

Do we really need to hot goss anymore? Is that really a thing? To try to sabatoge people with our words? To lie and exaggerate and slander with the intention of stirring up trouble? Because we’re bored and we’re boring and we have nothing better to do?

Oh we DO need to? Or I guess YOU need to. Yes, you. Hi, yes I see you, lurking there behind a plant on the Newark Ave Pedestrian Plaza with your metaphorical binoculars zoomed in on my cleavage and your metaphorical boom mic hanging over my head and your literal note pad as you take maniacal and exaggerated notes about every single thing I do and say. Preparing a full report because for you THIS IS GONNA BE GOOD.

Am I paranoid? Maybe. But should I be? Probably.

My mom always taught me not to talk about people. Like just don’t. It’s rude, it’s immature, it’s ridiculous. It changes nothing and gets you nowhere.

Oh, it allows you to occupy the “moral high ground?” Who gives a shit. “Morals” are subjective. Perception is reality. A system of worth based on “morals” is trash. A system of worth based on the judgements of the bored and boring is HOT FLAMING TRASH.

I will not have your (HOT FLAMING) trash dumped upon my head. I say this not because you have shamed me. This is not possible. I will not be shamed. I say this because you have annoyed me and I’m not going to stop living how I enjoy to live my life due to your commentary. You can suck it.

You, yes you, I’d like you to know that what you say DOES NOT MATTER because if you talk about me or my friends or my family or people who I like… I’m not listening. And equally as important, if my friends or my family or people who I like talk about YOU I’m ALSO not listening SO UR WELCOME.

I’ve done you that favor to set an example of the RIGHT WAY TO DO THINGS. Maybe one day you’ll catch up. Until then…I’m not listening. Bye.

*I wrote this one day when I was mad. Maybe it was over the summer? More gossipy stuff happens then. Maybe because everyone’s wearing less clothes and EVERYTHING IS SO SALACIOUS.

It’s often difficult to live in a small town that feels like a large town. Haha jkjk strike that, reverse it. Jersey City is the 2nd largest city in NJ and it often feels as small as my stupid small ass high school…but only if you let it! Hot goss is bad for communities. Just say no.

Either way I don’t even remember what this was about, like what was actually said that made me so annoyed and made a rant I wrote in my notes and found months later so necessary. So there ya go. NOT LISTENING, SUCKERRRRS.

rally for liberty state park…again.

Not this past Saturday because I was at a wedding but LAST Saturday we attended a rally for Liberty State Park. I haven’t posted about it until now because I wanted to be very thorough and look things up and fact check like what people do in REAL JOURNALISM. As a classically trained journalist sometimes I like to do that. But it does take a lot of work, so not like, EVERY time.

As you can see, this took over a week to post so I guess I made the right choice in not pursuing a journalism career. Also in the end you’ll see that it’s mostly my opinion so who even cares.

This is the third time that we have gone to protest to protect Liberty State Park on behalf of the Friends of Liberty State Park. Their big issue is preventing the Caven Point section of the park from being developed by the nearby golf course. Caven Point is a natural area where a lot of migratory birds hang out. As well as a ton of other animals like harbor seals and also shanimals.

Yes, I hang out there.

The protests are always held in the southern part of the park, close to Caven Point. To me this part of the park feels like the most “state park” part of the park. I think it’s the parking lot.

On the way in, we noticed an odd box truck with screens on both sides, playing a commercial for Liberty State Park. This commercial seems okay on the surface, but it is not okay. This commercial is a trap. It was created by Liberty State Park for All, an organization that receives funding from Paul Fireman, billionaire and face of the movement to turn Caven Point into 3 holes of the Liberty whatever golf course.

This group has been working on blatantly misleading the community into thinking that Friends of Liberty State Park are somehow against keeping the park maintained and available to everyone. They’ve targeted citizens in Wards A and F (Greenville and Bergen Lafayette, respectively) to try to convince them that the Friends of LSP are against cleaning up the park and developing the park for the community, and that they only care about birds.

You know how much I care about birds. But the whole “bird” thing turned into a whole rude AF target for Liberty State Park for All. Like making fun of people for liking birds and wanting to protect birds. OKAY COOL THANKS JUST MAKE FUN OF THE BIRDS THAT’S REALLY HELPING SHIT, YOU GUYS.

The thing is, it’s very obviously not just about the birds. They just had to find something to focus on, to pick at. To create the narrative that we’re protesting against something that would actually benefit people and therefore we’re being lame for only thinking about birds. But making Caven Point part of a golf course wouldn’t benefit people at all. It certainly wouldn’t benefit “the public.” The public that lives in Jersey City and across the state.

It is a private golf course. It would not benefit the public in any way. Even if Paul Fireman expanded the golf course into Caven Point AND gave Liberty State Park private billionaire money to build some public stuff, like basketball courts, the public would still suffer. There are public funds for things like basketball courts, pools, amphitheaters, and everything else in the OG LSP “Master Plan.” We don’t need to make a deal with the devil madly fiddling away on top of a golf hole to get them. Are they called “golf holes?” I don’t know.

As we entered the park, there were “counter protesters.” I put this in quotes because there is reason to believe that they weren’t actual protestors and were paid to appear and protest. All of their signs were the same, in the same handwriting and said the same thing. As if someone had made them and passed them out. When directly asked what they were protesting for or against…they had no idea.

Everyone has a right to protest of course. And it’s fine, they weren’t doing anything wrong. But it’s suspicious that they were present under such conditions. IAs if they were being paid to participate, or were iuuuuuuu false information, or even worse were given no information at all. Which is actually what seemed like was happening. And it was creepy and weird and dare I say dystopian, just like the intentionally misleading commercial on the box truck.

We arrived at the protest to save Caven Point with a small sign in hand and took some pics with lady lib and then we were ready to protest.

Sadly it seemed like there were less people there than the last time we went to protest in January. And that could be for many reasons, COVID being the biggest one I guess. It was a Saturday, it was hot, people are just over it, etc. I don’t think there were less people because some of the people that were for protecting Caven Point last time are now against protecting Caven Point, but I didn’t have time to conduct an official survey. I think it was just people being people. And not showing up. That’s a people thing.

But the people that DID show up were great and there were a few really awesome speeches from some great NJ folks. I’ll share with you my notes:

Sam Pesin, President of Friends of LSP – “We’ll get started soon, you enjoy the sun!” I liked that nice little welcome.

Assemblywoman Annette Chaparro – “Some people can’t afford The Shore or Great Adventure and this park is that for them.” This was so beautifully Jersey and I couldn’t agree more.

I didn’t make proper note of who said this but I have the line, “In the dark halls of the statehouse…” in my notes and I think that was a clever dramatic device on someone’s part. Nice work.

“If you don’t show interest in politics, politics will stioll show an interest in you,” said Assemblyman Raj Mukherji. Also, “If they tried to do something like this in Central Park hell would freeze over. Why would we let it happen here across the river?!” YEAH.

Although he’s recently been a little questionable as far as likability in certain circles, circles that touch my personal circle as far as Jersey City society Venn Diagrams go, Mayor Fulop does say “Trenton” with a full-on NJ accent, “Tren-in,” like the “t” is silent, and that always makes me happy. And I’m sorry I guess. But I was glad he was there and for his support on this partcular issue at least. For now.

The mayor.

Ward E Councilman James Solomon appeared in an NJCU hat and I wrote in my notes he was “tryna be eyyyyy cool JC guyyyy,” emphasis my own. In the end he did reference the hat and also that he teaches at NJCU which I didn’t know so I guess I revoke my mean girl comment. Although I still haven’t forgiven him for the time when I used to live downtown and he knocked on my door and tried to engage me in some kind of political process when I was very hungover and clearly wearing my pajamas. That was too much for me. But I still like him, he’s doing good things. It’s fine. I’ll be fine. Ward E is Downtown, for your records.

I’d like to pause and say that Dancing Tony dutifully sanitized both mics and mic stands in between speakers. Thank you. HE RUNS FREAKIN FUN YOU GUYS.

New Jersey NAACP Armed Forces and Veterans Chair (and acting Environmental and Climate Justice Chair) Keith Bodden came out with a pile of literal hats (and a literal hat assistant man) to show all the different “hats” he has worn in his life and still wears now. I LOVED IT A TON YOU GUYS.

HATS!

I have in my notes that Frank Gilmore was the “best guy” but I guess I was tired at that point and I didn’t write down why. But just know that he freakin killed it.

A local 8th grade student came up and read a letter to the editor she wrote. She did a beautiful job and was very composed and well spoken, I felt proud! I got a little tearful when she brought up some things about the birds. You guys know I love birds. The whole time I was like, “maybe we need to make it less about the birds so people can’t tease us about the god damn birds,” but then I was like, “well…I do like the birds.”

Speaking of birds, Shayna Marchese also spoke a bit about the birds! She’s a photographer who takes AWESOME pics of birds in NJ. All birds all the time. I LOVE HER INSTAGRAM GO TO THERE. A TON of the birds she captures are within Liberty State Park and Caven Point specifically so you can really see what the area has to offer as far as nature, even in such an urban setting.

@shayna.marchese on Instagram GO NOW!

I don’t know when the next vote for the LSP Protection Act is, and I couldn’t find it online! I did find some information in all of the following locations, and I encourage you to check them out. I do think they will be updated once they have a date in mind.

Friends of LSP

Baykeeper of NY/NJ

BAYKEEPER + Good Boi

summer emo night at porta jersey city.

Guys, I was already having a hard time and then my bird died so I haven’t written about Emo Night at Porta yet. Emotionally I just couldn’t bear to really rave about something I wanted to give a rave review to. But it happened almost a week ago so I’ll tell you a bit about it now before it turns into like ten years ago.

Emo night! Porta Jersey City! Phil Nasty! Drink specials! Rooftop! Woo!

Just trying to get myself pumped here.

Honestly it was a really great night. You know I LOVED the emo night back in January and I wasn’t even drinking back then. So this one was like EVEN BETTER and as I mentioned my birdie died but at this point she was just sick but I was still very sad so it was nice to be out for a couple of hours and also leave her alone and quiet which is what the vet recommended but I couldn’t resist peeking in her little cage every 2 minutes to check on her.

So yes, I needed a drink. Thanks for asking.

They had an awesome looking cocktail that I should have gotten but didn’t and I still feel residual regret about it. There was cold brew involved which I’m always on board for.

Another drink special was Miller Light in a can but it was in a BLACK CAN because this is EMO and we are SAD and also…I’m sad about my bird. So I drank the black can.

We ordered our usual 14 1/2 which is the spiciest, meatiest pie in town and we love it so much. In two towns, because it’s also better than all the spicy-meaty choices in Hoboken. So there.

I did have some leftovers but my pal put them in her tote and then I forgot them when I left and they were lost forever.

I was too sad about my bird. I couldn’t be trusted. My mind was not right.

Music was also included in emo night! Music was the whole point of emo night! Don’t act like you forgot!

Phil Nasty played the greatest emo bangers this side of 2005 and everyone had the time of their lives singing along at the top of their lungs. It’s just the way we roll.

As a special added bonus there were fun little song quotes on sticks for taking pictures. I was super super super (SUPER X3!) excited when I saw them and no one else got excited at first and I felt like a loser but then people did so it was okay. Maybe I should care less about being a loser but if I did I guess I wouldn’t be emo. So in the end I DID fit in?

Anyway I loved it. Loved every second. I’m so glad to be back in the world and I am grateful for every second. I felt happy and lucky to be up on the roof with a bunch of pals and like-minded jersey city individuals. It was a beautiful evening and PERFECTLY socially distanced so don’t think for a SECOND that they blew it there because they def KILLED IT and gov murph himself would be proud AF.

Marianne and Phil and Porta and probably some other really cool fun fab folks did a great badass job and I’m so pumped I went.

Whew, okay. Glad I got to tell you about that and give it the enthusiasm it deserves. Gonna go cry more about my bird now bye.

a rum renaissance.

You guys, I’m currently experiencing a rum renaissance and it’s a beautiful thing. Rum drinks are all I want to drink and I never want to stop.

Perhaps it’s not so beautiful that 2 of my last 3 posts have been about drinking. But what can one do, it’s summer time.

Rum makes me think of drinks I like to drink on vacation at shameless but beautiful all inclusive resorts in Riviera Maya. “I’ll take a Bahama Mama!” I drunkenly screech at the man from my sunscreen slippery seat at the swim up bar. Soon enough he introduces me to a BANANA Mama and my whole world lights up with the unmistakable sparkle of the Cavendish group.

Life is good.

Rum also makes me think of childhood vacations at Floridian resorts and trips to Publix wearing only a bathing suit and the sickeningly sweet smell of pina coladas my parents would make all afternoon and bring out to the resort pools in large mugs. Sickeningly sweet in a good way I guess, but pina coladas are very very sweet…almost too sweet for me.

I didn’t drink in high school because I never would have gotten anything accomplished but as soon as I got to college my favorite drink became Bacardi razz and diet sprite. For about three months until I just started drinking the free jungle juice and natty ice available to me.

One time I regrettably lived in Hoboken and also regrettably dated some random dude that lived in Lyndhurst. The best thing that came out of that was that he once took my to Lee’s Hawaiian Islander and it was EVERYTHING.

Unfortunately this was way before Instagram so I didn’t get to take any cute pics with a tiki drink in a fun tiki outfit. Whatever a “fun tiki outfit” might be. This means I need to find a friend with a car so I can go back. Or I need to purchase an entire car solely for this purpose of instagramming myself at Joe’s Hawaiian.

This is a very serious life goal.

The true rum renaissance began and I started to seriously consider rum as a constant drinking companion again a little over a year ago when we went to Black Tail for Valentines Day. Besides being a really cool little speakeasy type spot with a fun backstory (something about sneaking off to Cuba in small planes under cover of darkness), they have AMAZING RUM DRANKS.

I had a great time there but like, it’s in Manhattan and I don’t always feel like making that kind of haul. I’d return for another “special occasion” though. Well jk because when I just looked it up it said permanently closed. RIP Black Tail 🙁

These days I love Cellar 335 on Newark Ave in Jersey City. Like, LOVE LOVE. It’s a whole other universe in there. You walk down the stairs and it’s pretty much an actual cellar but there are plants growing on the walls and fun lights and it’s tiki tiki tiki from the bottom to the top and I want to live inside of it forever.

The drinks are expensive but with good reason. They’re expertly mixed, beautifully served, and they pack a punch. And yes pun intended because rum is best in a punch. I think NO ONE would deny THAT.

For drinking in the time of COVID-19, Cellar 335 has been serving badass cocktails to go and FOR DELIVERY. Even delivery to ME and I live so far south I am ALMOST IN BAYONNE, YOU GUYS. My parakeet enjoyed these cocktails as well and chirped about how rum is a big part of parakeet culture. Parakeets are from Australia but naturalized American citizen parakeet culture is influenced by the Carribean pet stores they’re born in and sold from. Look it up. I took my parakeet’s word for it because I trust him.

Jk where is rum even actually from?

Mmmhmmm.

Yum, yum yum yum. Yum yum rum. RUM RUM RUM IN MY TUM.

Cellar 335 also has incred snackies but we’re talking about rum right now not snackies. But if I WAS to talk about snackies I would say def get the cornbread there.

In recent drinking-in-the-street-because-it’s-the-apocalypse times The Archer has really come through with some full-on rum mastery shit. I’ve been drinking upwards of 5 Missionary’s Downfalls per Downtown drinking sesh. Today I had to take a break.

The tropical drink/rum thing is a departure from their usual, or at least the usual that I was personally aware of. I always saw The Archer as a cozy, dark spot to go when it’s cold out. I liked it for that, but now it has also become a tropical staycation destination and I’m fully on board. They even call their new outdoor seating area the Swim Club.

I mean come on.

Overall I’m just only going to drink rum now. It’s decided. I may have gotten a double of a gin something from Pet Shop last night but next time I go there it’s give me Malibu or give me death, baby. Get ready to mix that bay breeze. Sea breeze? When it comes to Malibu I always forget if I prefer the bay or the sea? In real body of water terms I obviously prefer the sea but my drink preference is sadly more murky. Like the bay.

Even my mom is getting gifts of rum!

What are some other good rum drinks I could order at a regular bar? A non Cellar 335/Black Tail/The Archer bar? I’m trying to develop a full rum drinking plan moving forward.

It’s the rum renaissance. Get on board, WE ARE ALL PIRATES NOW.