emo night at porta jersey city.

Last night I attended my most favorite activity at one of my most favorite places and that was a dance party at Emo Night at Porta Jersey City. I am going to devote this post to singing the praises of this event and plan to reach an unprecedented level of hyperbole, even for me.

I’m including the Instagram accounts of the folks involved in planning and putting on this event so you can go check em out, they’re all doing fun shit around the town and some of it you can do along with them!:

@marbearz – boss gal of Porta

@philipnasty – DJ

@goodyalan – DJ

@laurenzilla – she made the art! and was taking pics.

I’ll begin by saying that I was not an emo kid. I was not even close to an emo kid. Have you seen me? I am too loud and smiley, I’m a joiner. I am NOT the counterculture. But my SISTER was an emo kid and since she’s so much cooler than me, I look up to her even though she’s younger, so I learned some emo shit from her.

I mostly learned emo songs from riding around in her car when she picked me up if I was in my hometown for the weekend and drunk during college. Just hearing these yelling, sad, cathartic-to-scream-along-to songs in her car and eventually learning them and screaming them on my own gave me a real appreciation for the emo oeuvre. It’s true. So I eventually became an emo kid BUT ONLY IN MY OWN MIND and I’m probably an emo poseur forever but you’ll just have to deal with it.

So last night was Emo Night at Porta Jersey City and I was very, VERY pumped. Again because I am NOT cool so I get very, VERY pumped about shit. It was billed as a “dance party,” AND OMG THAT IS WHAT IT WAS. Everyone was dancing around and singing the songs. Including me. And I got very, very sweaty. The primary indication of a successful dance party.

You know when it’s the winter and you get really sweaty dancing and then you go outside for a minute and you’re like “WOO!”? Maybe you don’t know, because there aren’t enough dance parties in this god damn world. As far as I’m concerned there should be a dance party every single day. It feels amazing to move around and not care how you’re moving or who else is moving or even if you’re the only one moving. Because the point of a dance party is to move and not care, and those not moving and actually caring are DOING IT WRONG.

It really took me back in a lot of ways. To a younger time, a simpler time, but also an infinitely more emo time. Jersey City is a small town, so everyone’s ex girlfriend or ex boyfriend or ex dog walker or ex favorite waitress or mom’s ex cabana boy was probably there. Around here there’s a very limited pool of other human beings with which to entertain oneself. And people were prob like “eeeek, that’s the EX,” but then it was like, “Screw it! <screams emo song into blow up microphone> <slams blow up microphone on the floor> <does a badass spin/hair flip combo> <chugs cup of water because it’s Dry January, then realizes there is just ice left and the ice hits them in the nose and falls down their shirt> YEAHHHHH!”

Didn’t want to surrender this inflatable mic.

And there’s a bit of nostalgia in that. A bit of high school, a bit of college, a bit of being an immature moron. A certain level of unnecessary intrigue and speculation. Following the nostalgia came gratitude, that there is no longer a reason to concern oneself with these kinds of things because onseselves iz adultz now thx xoxoxo.

But we can still dance and sing our little adult hearts out along to the greatest emo hits of our collective history.

Didn’t get a good pic of us though. 😔

Additionally I didn’t drink a drop of anything that wasn’t straight up water with a splash of water on the rocks and I still had the time of my life. This slightly baffles me because usually I don’t feel like dancing without at least a small drop of some kind of adult beverage, but I was just having so much fun that I went for it. I UNLEASHED THE DRAGON.

Full disclosure, I am a terrible, TERRIBLE dancer and I always have been. I have a very hard time moving around to the beat of the music because I have zero rhythm and now I am DEAF so it’s even harder to hear and to move and to keep up. But I’ve reached a point that I do not care. And maybe this inspires others as well: the same weird drunk dude came up to me three times last night and very sincerely looked into my eyes and said “ I love you,” and I very sincerely told him three times “Thanks but I have a boyfriend,” and he still returned a 4th and final time because he couldn’t resist the siren song of my awkward and rhythm-less dancing so YOU tell ME who is the queen of the dance floor, thx.

As I looked around, I saw many others happily dancing and enjoying themselves immensely as well. There are folks I see out all the time at the usual Jersey City places that are often lurking alone with like, a sad face and a hood on (I guess they are ACTUALLY emo) and even THEY were dancing and I was honestly proud to be alive. I even saw some almost-smiles. I’m not making this up. Emo dance parties save lives.

What I’m saying is, we need to have more dance parties. We need to have more dance parties that include songs that a certain type of person who is in a certain age group range would know and love, I think is what I’m actually saying. Because in order for this kind of dance party to be this fun there has to be some kind of emotional/nostalgic/throwback element that really brings everyone together and gets everyone PUMPED AF.

Am I making too big of a deal about my excitement regarding Emo Night at Porta Jersey City? Maybe, but you should have been there! I sometimes forget the power and influence and emotional effect that music has on my life because it’s a HUGE amount of all of those things and then sometimes I blow it and don’t listen to music for WEEKS in a row and I want to SMACK myself.

I’ll end by saying that Emo Night at Porta Jersey City was a euphoric and transcendent experience, as only a dance party in a hot basement on a cold and dark winter night can be. And then you go outside and you’re all sweaty and steam is flying off of your head. It suddenly seems very quiet, the street is empty. You think about going back in but your ears are ringing and you’re afraid of losing the hearing in your other ear so you decide to call it a night.

Yeah…time to go home.

As I fell asleep last night I thought about how it felt like for the first time in a long time the night lived up to my hopes and expectations. It seems stupid and silly and childish but it did, okay?! PLZ HAVE MORE EMO DANCE PARTIES I AM BEGGING YOU.

Did you go to the Emo Night at Porta Jersey City? Did you love it? If you didn’t love it you can get the hell out of here and don’t come back. What was your favorite song they played? What other types of dance parties do you think Porta should have? What other places should have dance parties?! I’m looking for a dance party a day every day lifestyle. Thx.