Here’s a quick post on what to wear during your holiday break. Or more specifically, what to wear while you’re sitting on your ass during your holiday break.
As an “adult” I didn’t realize that a “holiday break” was possible until about 2 years ago. Shit at work luckily gets pretty slow in the two weeks between Dec 21st-ish and January 5th-ish, and I was like, “Wait a minute. It seems like everyone that is usually calling and emailing me disappears for two weeks around the holidays so maybe I should too?!”
So then I did. And I never looked back. Luckily I have a very kind and humane company to work for that gives us a healthy number of vacation days. THANK YOU KIND AND HUMANE COMPANY.
When you finally have a holiday break, you need to think about what to wear on your holiday break.
I do actually have to work the day after Xmas this year because I’m covering for the UK office. The day after Xmas is “Boxing Day” in the UK and if you don’t know what that is look it up because it’s silly AF. But I’m fully on board, as I always am with fun silly shit, and will gladly support them on their UK day off.
But (knock on wood) I don’t think it will be that busy and I’ll be working from home. Cross your fingers everyone.
JaneDO is a great place to work out and they also have great merchmerchmerch. This cropped crew sweatshirt is great for any day but it’s super great for sitting on your ass next to an Xmas tree, I’ll tell ya that much.
This is a sweatshirt BUT ALSO A DRESS. IT IS A SWEATSHIRT DRESS. I hate wearing pants and I love to wear a dress even during lounge times. You could wear it with leggings but that’s fine because they don’t count as actual pants. Also adult pigtails are a great lounge lewk and don’t you forget it.
Well, it’s cold as shit and the outdoors is ruined for now. The other day I was like, “I wish I had a black wool coat that covers my butt, ugh.” And then two days later I was digging in my closet for a different coat and I was like, “oh yeah I got a black wool coat that covers my butt just last year for my birthday. Duh.” (Thanks Joy and Lexx!)
coat that covers your butt – a history.
The idea of a “coat that covers your butt” has cracked me up since the first time I heard it. I remember I was working at MTV, my friend Melanie said it, and it was in reference to her “being an adult now” so she needed a coat that covers her butt.
And I laughed. But then I thought about it and I think it’s true. It’s mostly climate related and therefore regionally specific, but it’s true. And I had never even thought about it before.
I just want to make sure that you also are informed about choosing a coat that covers your butt. This is about you.
In high school I had a car to drive to and from places so sometimes I didn’t even wear a coat and I didn’t even care. Then in college we all had like, disposable garbage coats to wear to frat parties and we would throw them all in a pile and hope for the best. And inevitably our coats would get stolen, or we just couldn’t find them, and we would take someone else’s coat, and they would take someone else’s coat, and so on and so on.
The thing about these disposable coats was that NONE of them were a coat that covers your butt or covers ANYONE’S butt even if they fell asleep on a basement floor and used it as a blanket. But we didn’t need our butts to be covered because we drank so much Everclear that our butts and the rest of our entire bodies were completely numb and we never felt cold once in 4 years. I mean, I didn’t.
In my 20s and into my 30s it was a bit of a continuation of that, but once I lost weight I was freezing all the time and even now that I gained some weight back the chill remains. So I had to get some coats to cover my butt. it was time.
The other day at work my one co-worker who is a dude was like “it’s really cold, I think it’s time for me to get a coat that covers my butt.” And I was like wow, people, and dudes, are still talking about this. It’s a thing. And he’s around the same age I was when I first heard about this being a requirement for adulthood. Adorable.
In addition to making sure you know about choosing a coat that covers your butt, I wanted to do this post as a way of doing coat inventory. During the process I found at least 2 coats I forgot about, a coat I haven’t worn a single time, a pair of gloves in one coat’s pockets, and my pepper spray I’ve been looking for for at least two weeks.
My closet room is a black hole. And I apologize.
Maybe this will be helpful in some way if you’re looking into getting a coat that covers your butt. That’s a hard maybe.
I’m modeling these coats in leggings, because we all know “leggings as pants” are traditionally only acceptable if the shirt you’re wearing covers 3/4 of your butt. I mean you can do whatever you want, and I wear leggings as pants with my butt not covered all the time because I LIVE IN NEW JERSEY. But I thought it would be helpful visual if I kept the traditional (restrictive, oppressive, patriarchal, etc) rule in mind.
This is a denim jacket. It’s not a coat. It does not cover my butt. I like it for its simplicity and because I put a pigeon pin on it. The fun is over. I can’t wear this again til spring.
This is a newer light jacket and I like it because it’s a bit more bold than the denim jacket but still a neutral. But FUN. I think it’s from JCrew. They have fleece ones now and that’s prob a better choice. My butt is not covered by the bomber.
This is a leather jacket. Its days are limited. It may be cool and edgy and have a belt, but it doesn’t cover my butt. But it’s from Kanibal and they’re the best and do have some great leather jackets always.
black…stuffed animal? coat.
I like this coat, it’s fun and it’s actually pretty warm. I guess we’ll never know if it covers my butt because of the way I’m standing. Don’t tell any of the sustainable fashion folks but it’s from Forever21. Here’s a similar one. Shhhh.
One time I wore this coat and the guy I was hanging out with made fun of me because it’s from Old Navy. WTF is wrong with Old Navy, you moron. Anyway, this coat has butt coverage. A similar one, FROM OLD NAVY.
(fake) fur vest.
Here is a vest that can be used for layering over a jacket or coat that covers my butt. It’s just coming into its own season-wise and I like that it matches my hair. I got it for my birthday last year, from my boyfriend. I don’t know where it’s from. Thx.
Okay, WTF is this cloak and why do I even have it? It makes me feel like a wizard. I don’t know where it’s from or why I have it, but it does cover my butt.
I already talked about this one but it’s my wool coat from JCrew that covers my butt. Pretty straight forward.
rabbit fur coat.
Omg this is a rabbit coat that I love. I’m sorry for the rabbits but it’s vintage so they already died in like the 80s I think, which is when I was born so it’s highly likely one of them was reincarnated as me, and this was just sitting in a vintage shop in Philadelphia so I figured someone should take care of it. I bought it at Retrospect Vintage in January of this year and it was warm enough that day to just wear this with a tank top and jeans. But it doesn’t cover my butt.
A velvet puffer?! YES. I got this for Xmas a few years ago and I’m obsessed with it. This is what I was looking for the other day when I found the black wool one. And then I found them both. It’s very warm and I wore it on an adventure this past weekend but it still doesn’t cover my butt. This is not the puffer pictured, but also a great puffer.
Trench coats are for rainy days so I hate them by association but if I needed to have one this would be it. So I have it. It’s from Target. I also found my pepper spray in the pocket when I was taking these pictures. Yessssss.
Fab is the only word I have to describe this stole I got at Another Man’s Treasure. You may have already seen it. Before this one I had one I got at Love Saves the Day in New Hope and I LOST IT DURING A BLIZZARD and I HATED MYSELF FOR MONTHS but then I got this one to ease the pain. And it’s my bestie. Also sorry for the animal(s) that died but its name is Eileen because that is embroidered in it. Love ya girl…but you don’t cover my butt.
Oh yes, also a fur coat that my Grammie gave me that was given to her by my Pop Pop in like the 70s maybe? Early 80s? Apparently it was an apology gift of some sort. Things change, things stay the same.
I found some gloves in this coat! And I had just lost my new gloves I got for this year.
This coat covers my butt, but it’s also missing a belt that I wish it had and maybe one day I will take it to a professional for repairs.
Actually since we’re talking about this does anyone know reliable, dependable and also cheap fur repair? I’m curious. I know nothing about it besides that I love it and I feel bad about loving it. And that’s a lot to unpack. So I’d just like to know about getting it repaired thx.
sleeping bag coat.
Lastly, the ultimate coat that covers your butt – THE SLEEPING BAG COAT! This is a staple in NYC wardrobes that I resisted getting for almost a decade because I was against it in principle. It seemed like too much.
And I still think it’s too much. It makes me SO EFFING HOT. But a couple of years ago there were a few under 10 degree days in a row in January or February so the following Xmas I asked for this.
This sleeping bag coat is from LL Bean and it does the job, when it’s needed. I hate hauling its ass around but it’s second to none when the temps go below zero. I also like that my mom chose brown because it’s still a neutral but just different enough from all of the identical black sleeping bag coats hanging next to each other at the gym, the bar, AND EVERYWHERE. I wouldn’t want anyone to steal it. Because then I’d have to steal someone else’s, and they’d have to steal someone else’s, and so on…
In conclusion, I only have like 3 or 4 coats that cover my butt so I don’t think I’m an adult technically. Let me have that plz.
Which coat that covers your butt do you like best? When did you realize you need a coat that covers your butt in order to be an adult? Do you still resist owning a coat that covers your butt? I won’t be mad.
If you read stuff on the Internet you may have seen Katie Heaney’s piece for The Cut “Your Birthday is One Day,” asking for adults to not make such a big deal out of their birthdays.
This is my rebuttal.
I’d like everyone to know this is the friendliest of rebuttals. I am not trying to start a birthday war, I just want to say something for the other side. For the world to hear. Many from my side went NUTS in the Instagram comments so I feel no need to get too serious. They’ve defended our birthday honor boldly and angrily already, so I’ll keep it casual.
Birthdays ARE a big deal. “Your birthday is one day” is NOT something I want to hear.
Our days of birth are fun and fantastical and they should be treated with respect, even reverence.
It is currently my own personal birthday week and month so I feel in the perfect position to defend the “BIRTHDAYS ARE VERY IMPORTANT” perspective until someone punches me in the face.
To those that oppose making a big deal about birthdays I ask you this – what brings you joy? What fosters an environment of fun for you? It may not be your birthday but it’s probably SOMETHING. And about this “something” you may say “THIS IS ALL I HAVE. IT MAKES ME HAPPY. LET ME HAVE IT.” And that’s how I feel about birthdays.
THEY ARE ALL I HAVE. THEY MAKE ME HAPPY. LET ME HAVE IT.
I want to throw myself a party and I want to choose the decorations and I want sweet treats of my choosing made and presented to me. I will also provide sweet treats. I would like thoughtful presents, but they’re not necessary if you can just take the time to draw me a card if you’re artistic or even fold a piece of paper in half and write me a nice message you thought about for a moment. I would like to eat some kind of special meal but it doesn’t even have to be THAT SPECIAL or expensive but just like a meal that’s like “this is a birthday meal!” I want companies to send me emails with special discount codes so I can go shopping and I want Sephora to give me a birthday gift. And all of these things usually happen. And they happen over the span of a week. THEY NEED A FULL WEEK TO HAPPEN BECAUSE EVERYONE IS BUSY.
A birthday celebration does not need to be a big expensive elaborate deal. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being an adult and having a party at a bar for your birthday and literally the only thing that makes it a “party” is that you got confetti and party hats from 99 Cent Dream and you and your friends are simply drinking while standing in the same geographic location.
It is not that serious or demanding to ask friends/family/co-workers to have birthday drinks with you in the week around your birthday. Especially in NYC and the surrounding lands where everyone is usually drinking EVERY SINGLE DAY anyway so why not PRETEND YOU HAVE A GOOD REASON. Show up, check in, high 5, take a pic, leave. Congrats, you’ve celebrated your friend during their “birthday week” and you weren’t feeding into some kind of completely delusional diva behavior.
We NEED reasons to celebrate! Life is hard! Life is short but life is long if you’re lucky and why should you not celebrate a longer life every chance you get as much as you can?!
Part of the argument is that those that make a big deal out of birthdays are setting themselves up for disappointment. I will submit that I HAVE been disappointed when my hopes and expectations for birthdays are not met by those around me. The siren song of hope and expectation surrounding an event will push you closer and closer to the rocks until hopes and expectations are NOT met and you come crashing down and your ship splinters apart. I call this “falling off the other side” and will explore the full scientific theory I’ve developed separately some day. But getting pumped about birthdays is a fertile breeding ground for falling off the other side I WILL ADMIT.
In the past few years I had a disappointing birthday incident during which I was so upset that I had to go to Target to feel better because it was the only thing I could think of that would help me and then I was sobbing in Target and had to walk around for at least 30mins for the naturally occurring environmental Target endorphins to take effect. I didn’t even buy anything except rocky road Haagen Daz which I then went home and ate the whole thing of in addition to 4 slices of pepperoni pizza.
But I guess even within this disappointment, was celebration. I have a big problem with emotional binge eating but I was like it’s my birthday so I’m just going to give in and approach it like it’s not a problem. And that felt celebratory. I guess. Until my stomach really hurt.
To make it worse the day that was selected as the “day of celebration” during the birthday week (not my actual birthday but the party day) was going great until it was ruined by ridiculous unnecessary nonsense. That’s all I’ll say about that but just know that it was ridiculous and unnecessary.
And it ruined my birthday.
And birthdays are very important to me.
But I continued to celebrate and be happy and eat cookies and try to have fun because this time comes once a year and it celebrates me and also life overall and I think that is a beautiful thing that must be honored. It is your personal benchmark and individual perspective on the passage of time. And it is highly valuable. And if you want others to give you a little bit of recognition for that I don’t think that is a problem.
And I will gladly return the recognition! I also take the birthdays of others very, very seriously. I’ve met people once or barely know people and I will remember their birthday and I will text them. I texted the first guy I went on a date with freshman year at Rutgers every year on his birthday until like 3 years ago (August 24, Virgo).
As far as my actual close friends I love to attend any and all of their celebrations and I will clear my schedule to celebrate them. I still feel bad about a friend’s birthday dinner I missed in September because I had a “work event.” Work event sounds so dumb so that’s why it’s in quotes. But that’s what it was. Maybe I’ll feel bad until next September.
I was really disappointed that time I had the bad birthday though. Maybe I still am. And I guess that’s my fault for hoping too high, but I accept responsibility and I’m still going to be a birthday adult and have a full and robust birthday week until the end of time.
Are you a birthday adult? Do you love birthdays? Do you hate birthdays? Do you hate me for loving birthdays? Just wondering.
I had a very long and tiring day today with all the voting and some other fun stuff I’ll tell you about tomorrow.
But for now I’m just going to reflect on the awesomeness that is my tripod. WITH BLUETOOTH REMOTE. If you want to know what pure happiness is, it is when you want a photo of you taken and you do not have to ask ANYONE to take it. You do not have to associate with a SINGLE HUMAN. It’s just you and your tripod. And that’s beautiful.
I’m going to go ahead and create a new category called “blatant narcissism” to file this one under.
I’ll also include some outfit notes/links/whatever in case either of these lewks inspire you and you’d like to poke around the Internet.
Other than that it will just be the Shan Show. Omg that’s my fav show!
Lewk 1 – Dress, Free People. Necklace, Old Navy. Bracelets, Alex and Ani, ban.do, and Stone Cooper. Boots, H&M.
I know my photography skills and my face skills and my posing skills and my living life skills need to be improved – and that’s okay! Practice makes perfect and the practicing part is fun as hell. I could do this with every piece of clothing in my closet every single day and it would not bore me. Be glad you have that to look forward to. I am.
Do you like to take pics of yourself? Where do you take them? Do you have any tips or tricks to share?! I’m all ears. Well I’m all one ear because I’m deaf in the other one.