you should work out.

You live and you learn or whatever and one of the biggest things I’ve learned in the last couple of years is that you should work out. By “you” I mean “me,” I’m just reminding myself. But I’d like to share why working out is so necessary to me and maybe that will inspire you too.

I’ve talked about working out before, I know. It’s just really burrowing a permanent place in my life and heart and I’d like to express that. I JUST LOVE IT OKAY. I’m not a doctor or a trainer or a therapist or even a front desk person at a gym so I’m really not authorized to dispense this advice but I’m going to anyway you’re welcome.

Working out helps me…FEEL NORMAL. For so long I felt awful – depressed, anxious, tired, fully nihilistic. I’m still fully nihilistic but the depression, anxiety, and tiredness are partly semi-cured by working out. I firmly believe in a “use it or lose it” mentality when it comes to working out. Once you stop using it, you lose it. But guess what? ONCE YOU START USING IT AGAIN IT’S NO LONGER LOST.

BOOM, BITCH. You can continue that cycle for all of your years on earth and then in the blackness that becomes you when you die. It’s a beautiful thing.

I used to be so pissed at people that worked out and liked it, so I get it. Those people suck. I AM that person and I think I suck. Like shut up. But you really have more options to hop on this rainbow sparkling iridescent endorphin train than you think!

By “work out” I mean “do any kind of physical activity that is reasonably attainable per your body, time budget, and level of athleticism.” By my definition, “working out” could mean like ANYTHING. Walking your dog, wandering around the park looking at birds, riding your bike to work, blablabla and so on and so on. Did you bake and get sweaty because baking requires old school grandma muscles you’ve never used? That’s working out, man! There are a lot of options and all of the options are good and okay!

UNLESS the option you’re trying out doesn’t feel great. This shit needs to FEEL GREAT. If it’s too hard and you’re dying, that’s not great. If it’s too easy and you’re not finding a pleasantly distracted place of peace and even ELATION, that’s not great. IT’S GOTTA BE GREAT SO FIND THE THING YOU THINK IS GREAT FOR YOU.

It might take some trial and error, but the best things do. That’s how you find a romantic partner, that’s how you find a therapist, a job, etc etc. Kiss the frogs and move along, you can do it.

I’ve arrived at a place where I can accept that cardio is trash. CARDIO IS STRAIGHT GARBAGE. I can only do cardio if it’s hidden inside a fun dance, there is a trampoline involved, or I’m running while listening to the soothing, hypnotic, distracting sounds of Nike Run Club. I WILL NOT, EVER AGAIN, run on the treadmill or elliptical or ride a stationary bike simply to get a certain amount of time in and burn a certain amount of calories.

THAT IS A JOYLESS ENDEAVOR AND I WILL NOT STAND FOR IT. YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO DO THAT EITHER I’M SAYING IT RIGHT NOW PLEASE DO NOT KILL YOUR SOUL IN SUCH A WAY THERE IS MORE OUT THERE FOR YOU AND YOU’LL LOVE IT.

You can’t let working out be to lose weight or even to get in shape. I mean I guess you can if you want, but for most folks it’s going to feel joyless that way. Just bring some joy in, do a fun thing. Little kids run around in circles. Even little kids like me, who hated playing sports and would rather read books, spent some time running in circles every day. Just because.

BECAUSE IT BRINGS JOY.

I was inspired to go on this ridiculous work out tangent because I returned to my most favorite trampoline class at JaneDO early this morning, after a 3 month hiatus. Hopefully I only have to realize this one time for the rest of my life but THREE MONTHS OFF THE TRAMPOLINE IS TOO MANY MONTHS OFF THE TRAMPOLINE, YOU GUYS.

And this morning as I walked into class I was like “I’m le tired” but as soon as the music started up and we started stretching I was like “OH HELL YEAH IT IS ON, BABY,” and I jumped (ha) right back into it. Like every song was the best song I ever heard and I’m jumping up and down and looking at the instructor begging him with my mind to give us a cool move to do as the beat drops. Because doing a cool move as the beat drops, when it feels like you are inside the beat, THAT IS LIVING, PEOPLE.

And if you don’t want to live your life along with the beat dropping I don’t know what to tell you. The beat is in your mind. You make the beat. You should work out.

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