i don’t need your attention.

I don’t need your attention.

This is a rant that I wrote when I was outraged about some dumb shit someone random and nameless said and I hope it speaks to some of you out there.

We have to stick together, those of us who dare to live the way we want, convention be damned. Those of us who often feel we’re moving about life in our own super fun, charming, whimsical play that was written for us by us performed by US. Who relish the sun that shines down on our calculatedly charmed lives. Who find incredible joy in simply existing and confidence in simply being ourselves.

THIS IS FOR US.

Despite this life of joy and charm we don’t NEED anyone’s attention. Every single human is damaged and it’s true that we also have not escaped life unscathed, but we are not damaged in the way that we need someone’s, ANYONE’s attention. We are not “attention whores.”

Also “attention ‘whore’” is a very rude and derivative expression and I’m sorry to even give it any credibility by putting it here. It’s creating a mean issue to insult/discredit/upset someone out of something that isn’t even an issue. So stop. Be cool.

We don’t need attention to survive. We don’t thirst for attention. If we are just going about our normal business and living our lives and if we somehow attract attention, so be it. If we have attracted your attention and for whatever reason you’re COMPLETELY OUTRAGED that we could have done such an AWFUL THING AND UNFORGIVABLE THING…we guess we’re sorry? I don’t really know. Maybe we’re not sorry. Leave me alone.

There are nefarious specters that lurk on the periphery of my life. They are not in my life, because it is MY life, and only I have a say about how I live it. So if you have a problem with it I don’t know what to tell you besides love me or leave me alone.

I am loud. I’ll say it again, I LIVE MY LIFE. I go about my business. I often dress naked. In doing any of these things I am never searching for attention. I’m just living. I don’t know how to state this enough. I’m definitely self aware at this point. Of course it takes constant, cultivating, psychological “work” to maintain self awareness, and I could always be MORE self aware. We all could. But in this sense I clearly see that I do not need your attention. Often I don’t even want it. I don’t need validation. I just do what I want to do. I’m not doing it for you. I’m not doing it for anyone.

I’m doing it for me. I do the things I do to be myself and exist as happily and comfortably as I can within my own universe.

It has been said by some that were likely angry, more angry than I was when I wrote this post, which was pretty angry, that those of us who live this way need attention from somewhere and it doesn’t matter where we get it. I’ve taken a long hard self aware look at this commentary and deduced that it could not be further from the truth.

So shut up. Bye.

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