You guys, WE ARE ALLOWED TO DRINK IN THE STREET. IT IS PERMITTED BY LAW. We are enjoying ourselves IMMENSELY. HOW CAN WE KEEP THIS FOREVER?!

In fact, I’ve been enjoying myself so incredibly immensely that I’m only just writing about it now. It’s a beautiful vacation life and it’s been going on for a couple of weeks (since May 15), this drinking in the street. And it’s everything we’ve ever wanted. Everything we’ve hoped for. Yes, we’ve alway wanted to drink in the street. It’s all we think about.

Some of us have been to places like New Orleans and Las Vegas and maybe even Savannah where you’re able to get drinks to go and drink IN THE STREET. Many of us have tried to get drinks in bars or at liquor stores and have brought them into the street with intent to drink in the street, with varying degrees of success. I will say that I’m pretty sure it’s always been okay and legal to openly and brazenly drink on NJTransit but that could be my own wishful thinking.

We, the citizens of Chilltown (JK I never call it that), have always wondered why we weren’t blessed with the beautiful gift of drinking outside from our state or city government but then we remember New Jersey politics were once run by actual, literal mobsters and things are still a little weird. Someone, somewhere, between the banks of the Hudson River/Atlantic Ocean and the Delaware River/Bay, is benefiting from us not drinking in the street. They probably think they’re really important and they’re definitely smoking a cigar.

But for now, only WE benefit. We’ve been waiting for this. We’ve worked hard and we’ve been behaving ourselves, only drinking inside the boundaries of restaurants and backyards, and we DESERVE THIS.

I’ve found myself in more than one public park running around blowing bubbles at children and getting them to yell “WAHOO!’ with me.

We’ve turned Newark Ave into a drunken dance cardio class.

More frozen rum drinks than one could ever keep count of have been consumed.

On Sunday while drinking on the street I drooled all over a Golden Retriever and kept telling him he was the “Quarterback of the Dog World!” Actually…I think I was right about that. They ARE the quarterbacks of the dog world.

Perhaps most fantastic of all is the fact that the drink selling establishments close by like 10pm. So then I can GO HOME and no one can talk me into staying out. Because there is nowhere to go. So then the next day I can wake up and work out and do my work and live a full life.

Overall it has been a beautiful time in our collective city history, and it’s all taken place under a cheerful blue sky and a relentless sun that has made me acceptably tan. We’ll always remember this time fondly, I think, once they take our drinking in the street privileges away. Because they will.

Nothing gold can stay.

Yesterday our Jersey City restaurants opened for outdoor dining. Like actual dining where you sit outside the restaurant in a special area and you have table service. We were unable to attend because we were exhausted and still recovering from 3 days of outdoor drinking, IN THE STREET.

Tonight we’ll check out the dining. But please let us drink in the street forever and ever and never take it away ever again, amen.


