i got a covid-19 antibody test.

Last week I received an email from CityMD that was like “We are going to do tests for COVID-19 antibodies!” And I was like, “There’s a CityMD in Journal Square sign me UP!” And then I got a COVID-19 antibody test.

The journey to CityMD was not without peril. It’s a little over a mile from my apartment to Journal Square. A decision to ride Citibikes to the antibody test was made.

For whatever reason my legs were so so sore and tired and I was DYING riding on this godforsaken Citibike. It was also a misty morning (can’t see no sun), and a grey cloudy day. It was not my favorite day. It was my least favorite KIND of day, I know that much.

When we arrived we were shocked to find one person in the waiting room. Only one! And the place had been open for an hour already. I was surprised.

We got started with the check-in process and filled out all the forms and shit and then the lady at the desk was like, “This test could cost you up to $180.” I threw up all over the floor and fainted and when I woke up my companion was gone because he rightfully didn’t want to pay that and ran out of there because only “the patient” could be present in the office for social distancing reasons. Which like, also rightfully.

I personally didn’t leave after this monetary shock/setback because I wanted SOME ANSWERS and I would pay ANY PRICE on a credit card and not pay it back for 30 years because this is AMERICA.

In my mind I took more pictures but I actually only took this picture.

I really just needed to know SOMETHING TRUE. There’s so much out there right now that’s not true or half true or there’s no way we can even come close to knowing if it’s even true. There are too many unanswered questions. Too much uncertainty. I hate it. CAN YOU TELL I HATE IT? I was seeking out science to help calm me.

It wasn’t very calming to then wait in the doctor’s room all alone for like 20 minutes but I guess I made it through okay. The nurse that checked me in even complimented my press on nails! The press on nail revolution is upon us.

The doctor did a very simple blood draw and that was it. Blood draws feel extra simple to me because I do them every couple of months because I’m a hypochondriac. I’m like, “please scan my blood for any possible problems I could currently be dying from yes you can take 7 vials actually please take 10!” I don’t even feel the needle anymore. I don’t know if that’s good or bad.

After the appointment I was told I would get results in 5-7 days. Or like 5–10 days? I forget the exact number. But it ended up being like a week.

Do you want to know the result? I didn’t have COVID-19 antibodies! Which isn’t really good or bad I guess at this point. Like they don’t actually know for sure if having it already helps you to not get it again. They’re leaning toward that but they don’t KNOW.

Also, a few days after I went for the test I read that they’re not very accurate at this point. So that was disappointing.

In the end, I didn’t have to pay anything because they still have to reach out and talk to my insurance company. So it was free! For now. And now there are ACTUAL FREE TESTS for residents of Jersey City and I probably should have just waited for those. But now you can go too!

Have you gotten a COVID-19 antibody test? Do you have any answers that I don’t have? I still don’t have ANY answers.

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