press-on nails vol. 1

I’ve been struggling with having un-manicured nails and messy, bloody cuticles during this worst time of our lives. I came across press-on nails as a possible solution.

I vaguely remember press-on nails from childhood. They were at the big box stores and they were cheap and they were crappy. And I was against them. At one point I procured some for “dress up” purposes and they stuck to my fingers for like 3 hours and then fell off. My faith in them was no more.

Press-on nails were something I hadn’t thought about since 1993 when I came across this the other day, which led me to this, and a new fascination with press-on nails was born in my mind.

kiss imPRESS false nails.

So I went and ordered a few of the recommended kinds online. But they won’t be here for DAYS so when I went to Target the other day I picked up a pack of these Kiss imPRESS False Nails. Because I could not wait. I COULD NOT…wait. My nails are a mess and therefore my life is a mess. My life is a mess and therefore my nails are a mess? Whatever. Either way the whole thing is a flaming garbage fire mess.

When I got home, I sat down and took off the pathetic attempt at a manicure I did on Monday.

Then I cleaned my nails with the little alcholol pad they provided.

Next I went nuts on my cuticles with a new cuticle clipper I also got during this particualr Target trip. I thought it would be better to clip them with the clipper instead of bite them. I don’t know if it was better as it seemed just as bloody.

After about 5 hours of doing that, I used the alcohol wipe again to be safe. THEN IT WAS TIME TO STICK ‘EM ON.

One by one, I tested out the different sizes on my nail beds to find the best match. Once found, I removed the sticker on the back, then stuck it on my nail. I held down on the nail for 30 seconds and pushed from side to side and up and down. APPLYING PRESSURE LIKE THEY SAID.

And you know what? It totally worked! It’s not my most favorite manicure of all time, as the color choices were limited at Target, but my nails look way better! I don’t start to have a panic attack and feel like I’m going to throw up when I look down at them typing on my keyboard. I am one step closer to sane and I have press-on nails to thank.

As the different brands of press-on nails I ordered start to roll in, I’m going to tell you about them. Because like what else do I even have to talk about? I’d like to give these a rating to on a scale of 1 to 5 I will say 3.5. This is great but I do think it can go up from here.

Have you ever tried press-on nails? What did you think?

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