painting your own nails sucks.

You guys, painting your own nails sucks. It’s difficult, it’s inconvenient, and it lasts two days at most before it starts chipping off. It’s not the way I want to live and frankly I’m tired of it.

With “everything that’s going on” one type of business that’s closed is nail salons. NAIL. SALONS. ARE CLOSED. WTF ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO?! PAINT OUR OWN?! WHY THO.

Getting a gel manicure has become a weekly thing for me. I’m not interested in hearing about like “UV damage” or “chemicals” or whatever. I’m fully aware, I’m an adult and I’ve made a choice, thx. Gel is where it’s at because it’s less likely to chip and/or get destroyed in a matter of MINUTES like regular polish. On the other side, I’m not interested in anything MORE EXPENSIVE than gel, even if it is “healthier” or “safer.” Nope. Not interested. Sunglasses face emoji. Bye.

Now that that’s out of the way, I just want to whine a little about how much I miss Chillhouse. I have a membership there, that has had to be PAUSED, and I can go a bunch of times in a month and I save a boatload of money. So I go! And I keep going! Often I go once a week! I freaking love that place! The gals that work there are so nice and it is truly, TRULY chill. It’s relaxing to go there and sit there and look out the window and listen to their badass playlist and sometimes I even fall asleep. But it’s the only time during the week that I feel truly relaxed. And it’s worth it.

The way that my nails have looked for the past 10 or so months, which is pretty perfect, kind of long and almond shaped but not TOO pointy, and carefully, expertly, FABULOUSLY polished….this is how I need them to look ALL THE TIME. Yes I said “need.” When my nails don’t look amazing my mental state takes a serious nosedive. I don’t know what it is but I DESPISE looking down at my nails when they aren’t perfect looking. And I look at my hands all day! Because I don’t know how to type without looking at my hands! You guys!

Some people like painting their own nails and that’s fine. I’ll allow you to have that. I’m not saying you shouldn’t and I’m not saying you should stop. And I’m proud of you. DID YOU HEAR THAT? I AM PROUD OF YOU, OK? But I think painting your own nails sucks.

Yes of course this is a first world problem and a disposable income problem BUT A PROBLEM IT REMAINS. I had to cut my nails a week ago. Just cut them all off and shorten them. I can’t care for them by myself, and the regular polish I have at home isn’t strong enough to last a long enough time to keep my nails from breaking. They were starting to break and starting to look a mess and then I had to chop them all off. And I cried. It brought me to tears. I loved my nails. And now they’re garbage.

A few days ago I tried to paint them with an old Midnight in Moscow I had laying around (shout out to all of the time in 2009 I spent at and around 14th and 7th in NYC!). I used a NEW top coat and base coat, LIKE THE NICE KIND. This stuff was chipping off THE VERY NEXT DAY. IT WAS AN OUTRAGE. Also it looked terrible. I don’t have a steady hand at all, and I’ve never said that I do. I actually have a very shaky hand, and limited if not non-existent hand/eye coordination. I have tried all the tricks, and they work with eyeliner but not with nail painting. They just don’t. The polish gets all over my cuticles and my fingers and my hands and my shirt AND MY LIFE.

IT TAKES WAY TOO MUCH TIME TO DRY. I DO NOT HAVE TIME TO SIT COMPLETELY STILL AND DO NOTHING FOR 45 MINUTES. THIS IS A NIGHTMARE.

After the Midnight in Moscow fail, I grabbed some new polish during a Target grocery outing. I wiped the bottles clean with Clorox wipes before using them. I chose a light pink with a separate pink glitter polish to put on top. I TRIED TO MAKE IT NICE. It lasted for two days before it started chipping. I GIVE UP.

My nails when left up to me. Yes I bite my cuticles WAY worse when my nails aren’t manicured. 😫😔

My nails are just naked now. And short. And sad. Painting your own nails sucks, I don’t want to do it anymore. People keep talking about how “when this is over” they’re gonna like, go out and be with other people and hug them and shit. Well I’m not a hugger, so I’m going STRAIGHT to the nail salon to get this mess SORTED OUT.

Also @chillhouse has started going live on instagram with how-tos for nail design and other beauty service tutorials! If I was coordinated enough I would def try them, but I’m not, but YOU should check them out <3

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