In an effort to write about something silly/fun/nonsensical, I’m going to start profiling notable animal residents of Jersey City. These are not PETS of Jersey City, they are NOTABLE ANIMAL RESIDENTS of Jersey City.
The animals I’ll be profiling either don’t have owners, or are employed by their owners in some way. Those are my rules. I love pets but there is enough about pets on the Internet, the market is fully saturated, I’m not even going to try.
Today I will begin this series with notable animal residents of Jersey City that I refer to as “The Guardian Dogs of Bramhall.” I do not know these animals personally, but I admire them from afar. I try to get a good look at them without staring or being creepy and also keep my distance so they can do their job.
But I love them. So much.
They’re dogs so they COULD be pets, but no, they have an important career in security and they’re tired of you asking if they’re “good boys” because they don’t care or have time for your bullshit. They have a house to protect! As you may have guessed, the house is on Bramhall.
It’s a big old super pretty Victorian (I think) house and it also has a smaller house within its gates. The Guardian Dogs of Bramhall protect this hallowed territory with their VERY LIVES. If you so much as stroll past they are immediately ON ALERT and will run over to the gate. They bark and make a big deal about you being there. Okay okay I’ll be on my way BUT YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL BEASTS PLEASE BE MY BEST FRIENDS.
They’re often lounging on literal dog lounge chairs under a carport. They’re super nice lounge chairs like you would find at a pool in Las Vegas. The Guardian Dogs of Bramhall snuggle up and lounge but ALL THE WHILE they are WATCHING YOU WITH ONE EYE OPEN. They both did it today when I walked by. They heard me, and one eye opened on each beautiful tawny face. A raised eyebrow, a questioning look, then they settled back in when they saw I was keeping it moving.
I often ride a Citibike downtown and I specifically take Bramhall, first of all because there is a fun hill to go down into Berry Lane Park (after stopping at the bottom and looking both ways). But also The Guardian Dogs are on Bramhall! And as I ride by I say “Good morrrrning guardian dogs!” Or “Happy Friiiidayyy guardian dogs!”
And honestly they don’t like that because they get pretty pissed. Also I guess I’m being disruptive to the neighborhood overall.
BUT I JUST LOVE THEM SO MUCH. I don’t know why they try to make me feel like the little girl on Animaniacs about it.
Before a year or so ago, I didn’t even know about guardian dogs. I didn’t know who they were! I can’t believe it! But I went on a fun tour of this cheese farm in my hometown and they had guardian dogs there. And I was like “WHO ARE THESE BEAUTIFUL FARM LIONS?!”
The guardian dogs at that farm were really sweet, because THEIR job was mostly to protect the chickens from hawks and foxes and other predators. So I was their pal since I wasn’t a fox or hawk or other predator.
But The Guardian Dogs of Bramhall are tasked with protecting their home and
owners employers from the predators of Jersey City. Which are…people. So I’m one of their marks. And I’m sad about it but I guess I accept it.
Guardian Dogs of Bramhall, keep up the good work. You are notable animal residents of Jersey City. I salute you.