bread and salt bakery.

Bread and Salt Bakery in the Jersey City Heights – there is always a ridiculous line outside. And I’m like “no thanks regarding the bread and salt because shan waits for no man and also waits on no lines because lines are for losers and we can just go on another day when the line is less loser-y.”

Saturday was that day. I’m going to say again that nothing is worth a line like that…NOTHING! So I want you to keep that in mind plz. Don’t go stressing yourself out over this place just because the New York Times or whoever said you should.

It’s just food. It’s just pizza. Pizza is very, VERY IMPORTANT TO ME. AND TO YOU TOO I AM SURE. BUT NO PIZZA IS WORTH THE LINE THAT LEAKS OUT THE DOOR OF BREAD AND SALT AND DOWN PALISADE. GET A LIFE.

Okay, I’m over the line.

But like, why IS the line? Well, first of all, the New York Times, as I said. They’ve already ruined Razza and I will never go there again. Their pizza is great but like…it’s not that serious. If you’re going to make it that serious I don’t even want it. Maybe I’m not over the line.

So is it just bread and salt? What if it was JUST bread and salt? Bread with salt sprinkled on it and that was the whole place? I’d wait in line for that.

JK no I wouldn’t.

Bread and Salt has pizza! And it’s yummy! And it’s hard for me to keep track of all the kinds of pizza but there is like: brick oven, Detroit, Chicago, New Jersey elementary school Friday night pizza party, dollar pizza, etc. Some of these pizza genres are like comparing apples and oranges when you compare them to each other. But SOME are like comparing oranges and grapefruits. And this Bread and Salt pizza was an oranges to grapefruits situation to like…the pizza I’ve had at Alla Pala in Eataly. BUT it was an apples to oranges comparison to the amahhhzing Detroit style pizza they have at Low Fidelity also on Palisade Ave but never has a line.

THAT IS JUST AN FYI.

I had a “crazy” plan to go to Bread and Salt very early in the evening, right when it opened, to see if it would be as ridiculous. And it wasn’t! The line was fully contained inside of the building and we only waited for like 10 minutes. It seemed like there were a lot of people there but people would order, find a table, eat their food, then leave. Everyone kept up pretty well with this social contract and I didn’t notice any lingerers. There was limited seating so this particular social contract was V IMPORTANT.

Once we got to the counter, my companion and I selected a few different slices and we were pumped to try them. We also wanted to get a cannoli but they were already out. It was 6pm. They opened at 5:30pm. These things frustrate me but I guess it’s the price you pay for fresh foods.

It wasn’t hard to find a table (although it was a shared table and there was a baby I’m not related to already sitting there so that annoyed me. But again, the price you pay for freah foods. And for living as a human being in public among other human beings, some of them babies not related to me).

Our food was ready pretty quickly and it was time to get down to BIZNASS.

I’ll start with the one we hated. It was a white slice and we were thinking it might have like a truffle thing going on so I checked it for mushrooms. The good news was, no mushrooms! The bad news was it had some very serious cheese on it. Maybe like a Gorgonzola? Whoever he was, he was very disagreeable. I finished it because I felt I had to, but my associate scoffed at his and left it behind.

It was probably our fault we hated it because we didn’t ask what was in it. We didn’t ask what was in any of them. What is wrong with us?! We just blindly chose them. Maybe we won’t do that next time.

Beware the white slice.

The others we enjoyed! There was a spicy sausage and potato one, another sausage and kale one, and a more plain just sauce and cheese one. They were all delicious!

Best of all, it was only like $23 for all that shit. I thought it would be way more and when the friendly dude with the iPad rang us up and said “$23” we both jumped over the counter to embrace him. We really did.

So yeah, its a great place! And you should go try out Bread and Salt, at 435 Palisade Ave in the Jersey City Heights. It’s worth the trip up there. Actually the heights isn’t even that far “up” anywhere. Get over it.

But I’ll remind you one more time, nothing is worth waiting in a line that goes out the door so if that’s what you find when you get there I’d say take it elsewhere until conditions improve. You’re welcome.

PS – It’s worth noting that after we ate this delicious pizza we were overwhelmed by its greatness and fell right to sleep and missed the closing reception for Circle the Square at Deep Space Gallery. Like our whole Saturday night went down the drain. So I guess plan for that too.

2 thoughts on “bread and salt bakery.

  1. I must be related to you because I will absolutely not wait in line for my food.Get the F out of my way. And sidewalk cafes come on, why don’t we
    do it in the road! Pizza, sounds so good I,m gonna have it for lunch

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