the rent the runway flagship store is bananas.

You guys, I’d like you to know that I’ve been renting the runway since the beginning (2009, srsly). Like since the very moment the runway was rolled out, I’ve been renting that bitch. We’ve come a long way together and now they have a whole entire store in Flatiron right by my work. The Rent the Runway flagship store is bananas.

Part of renting the runway is returning the runway so you can get more runway for your runway. In my professional and well researched opinion, the Rent the Runway flagship store is bananas mostly because of these returns.

People who work in Manhattan rush into the store in the morning before work to return things so they can then order another thing and hopefully get it by the end of the day. Thus fully maximizing their 4 items at a time subscription. I mean at least this is what I do. I’m sure everyone else is aiming to do this as well, I can see it in their eyes.

Rent the Runway uses a very specific kind of garment bag to deliver their wares and you can recognize these garment bags around the city. Well, around the CITIES, I see women carrying them all over in JC and NYC. Also in Hoboken but forget about Hoboken it’s irrelevant.

I think I should hang my jeans up like this and maybe I’d like them better.

Around 8:30 in the morning there is a SWARM of 20 and 30 something women carrying in these bags, marching down W 15th street in their booties and jeans with their hair that is all the same color. Seriously how is everyone’s hair the same ombré color? It’s like one ombré creator invented ombré and there is only one option for ombré and it all looks the same like hair style communism. Not on board. I realize that ombré is a style and it’s supposed to look similar but these people all have twin heads and I’m afraid.

These gals have the bags!

Okay okay I’ll let it go.

I’m sorry I’ve been snarky the past few days I just can’t take the winter anymore that’s all there is to it.

So the Morning March of Gals Down 15th St culminates at the front door of Rent the Runway where everybody tries to navigate their way inside. It’s especially hard now because the winter time vestibule thing is in front of the door so it’s two doors and a weird small space to maneuver. Fun, fun.

There are bins on wheels outside the store FILLED with discarded clothes, bags, and accessories that people have just returned. It’s an explosion of fabric and color and fashion and you can kinda pick things out in your mind and be like “I saw that one on that app!” If you’re so inclined. They’re on their way to get cleaned, baby!

Outside are men chosen to do the (flying spaghetti monster) lord’s work that are loading these bins into big trucks that will be taken to…Secaucus! Yes I believe they go to New Jersey. Where they belong. In a good way. Obviously.

Although the Rent the Runway flagship store is bananas AF, they actually do a very good job of corralling everyone during the return process. There is a long line but it is clearly marked by stanchions and moves fast.

When you return your stuff, you just have to walk up to an iPad and scan its tag and make sure it scanned and then toss it in a bin. You don’t even have to talk to a person WHICH IS OBVI THE BEST PART. During this morning rush they also have some of the gals at the desk check in the items. I don’t know, maybe they always do. Whatever.

There is also a gal manning the line to keep order and she keeps calling us “ladies” like “Good morning ladies!” “Please stand over here ladies!” In such a sweet voice and it always cracks me up because we’re not ladies at this point. We’re obviously out of control wild animals trying to get our stuff returned as quickly as possible so we can click to order more stuff on the app and then go to work and get going with the day.

If you happen to be a gal with leisure time and you can walk around the store and choose your items that way, GOOD FOR FREAKIN YOU. But they do have a very nice set up. I’ve walked through and looked at stuff when I have a little extra time and they have a pretty good selection as far as different types of clothes in different types of sizes. There is a nice fitting room and you can use iPads to check OUT as well. But no one is ever crowding around them like ravenous animals.

Tumbleweeds next to these iPads…

Today I actually made a friend! She saw me creepily taking pictures of some stuff and she was like “Are you using the app to scan?” And I was awkwardly like “Um no uh I’m just taking a pic to show my…friend. What?” And then she showed me how to use the app to scan items in the store and then I can check them out through the app or add them to my wishlist and it was honestly a great life hack.

This is the pic that made me a friend.

I never make friends in settings that aren’t intentionally social so this was a very rare moment but I’m not mad about it. Also she’s not actually my “friend” I talked to her for 40 seconds. Ugh. Gotta get over myself.

Yes, the Rent the Runway flagship store IS bananas. And since I’ve gone many times a week in the last couple of weeks I wanted to reflect on that. So I did. I do love Rent the Runway and have no complaints. And if I DID have a complaint they would fix it because they have pretty good customer service.

I don’t work for them. JUST A FAN. A BIG ONE. K COOL.

Do you use Rent the Runway? Have you ever been to the store in the morning? Have you done the March of the Women Down 15th St with your black garment back? It’s a dignified march and I’m glad to be a part of it.

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