galentines brunch at porta jersey city.

Yesterday was the annual Galentines Brunch at Porta Jersey City also known as the BEST DAY OF OUR COLLECTIVE LIVES.

In the morning I woke up very hungover from my Valentines Day date the night before. But it was time to get freakin serious so I had my boyfriend go get me some Diet Coke and Excedrin at the bodega. And I definitely appreciated it and said thank you. Just making sure you know that.

I took the Excedrin and tried to collect my thoughts and feel better as quickly as possible. I had to be at trampoline class at JaneDO by 11am. It was required.

After trampoline class I sprayed myself with some spray deodorant and headed to Galentines Day Brunch at Porta Jersey City in my gym clothes. If you know me, you know that I HATED doing this because I don’t like to wear gym clothes when I’m not at the gym and especially sweaty ones. And I also like to wear specially selected and beautiful outfits for certain occasions. Especially if I feel pictures will be taken. Since I wasn’t dressed how I would have liked to be dressed I felt disgusting AF.

Everyone at Galentines Day Brunch also looked so darn cute and I was very sad that I was in dumb boring sweaty gym clothes. I just need you all to know that. I was so sad that I had to drink two strawberry mimosa carafes.

I had to.

Just FYI the only way to drink a mimosa carafe at Porta is to insert a straw directly into the carafe. It’s the rules. Speaking of mimosa carafes they had adorable little menus for you to order custom mimosa carafes and bloody Mary’s. YES.

The bloody Marys were made with Misunderstood Whiskey which is delish and the only whiskey I will happily and willingly consume. I don’t like whiskey overall but I DO like Misunderstood Whiskey. They also gave out koozies that say “whiske all day” and we found those hilarious, relevant to our lives, and adorable.

For foods a few of us got “all the bacon and eggs” and shared that. Someone got the “treat yo self sandwich” and I had a bite of that. Another gal got the waffles and they looked delish! And yet another opted for a salad. Which is great but it kicked off a conversation about how much I hate vegetables. And no one else really hates vegetables and I feel like a child and a loser. But I, in fact, still hate them and won’t stop hating them. Thx.

In addition to consuming food and drink we played MASH. Did you ever play MASH at sleepovers growing up?! Why is it the best?! Why don’t we play MASH every day?! I think we really should. In my MASH I live in a house in Key West with Lakeith Stanfield and a tiger and I don’t have a job. But like, in a good way, because I don’t HAVE to have a job. I’m fully on board.

Once I got good and mimosa-d up I also made a vision board at the table run by the gals from Mint Market. I’m not allowed to shop during Q1 because of a dumb New Years resolution so I had to try very hard to avoid their wares. But I had a lovely time sitting at their table in the sunshine drunkenly zoning out and creating a “vision board” which really has no visions for the future beyond “I really hope I see a bear sometime soon” and “hedonism.”

Either way I’m really proud of it.

The atmosphere at Galentines Brunch at Porta Jersey City was TRANSCENDENT. Everyone was laughing and drinking and smiling and dancing and being galentine-y. It was a joyful place to hang and catch up with pals. Overall I’m a huge proponent of lady brunch times so I think we should just do it every weekend in this same spirit. Like why not?

After brunch we went to Six26 next door for some drinks and to catch the end of drag brunch. Which DOES happen every weekend and I would like to return. After THAT I think I may have gone to Downtown Yogurt but things are a little…dark. Can we maybe consult some security footage? I think that may be helpful.

I do know that I got home around 6pm and I woke up at 9:30pm and did not know where the time had gone.

That’s the risk you take when you go to Galentines Brunch at Porta Jersey City. And it’s worth every penny and lost brain cell.

Did you go to Galentines Brunch at Porta Jersey City? Did you go to Galentines Brunch anywhere else? DID YOU LOVE IT?! You better have. Because it’s great.

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