valentine’s day at target.

You may be aware that I’m obsessed with Target. You may be aware that ALL WOMEN of a certain age (or quite possibly ALL AGES) are FULLY OBSESSED with Target. This post is about Valentine’s Day at Target.

Actually now that I have you here, this post is about more than Valentine’s Day at Target. This post is about jumping on board with Valentine’s Day and just fully giving myself over to the fun. Admitting to myself and to the world that there is nothing I’d rather do than giggle, eat candy and other seasonal special sweet treats, smell and admire a lovely arrangement of flowers, and be among and one with pink, red, and sparkly shit.

For many years I scoffed at Valentine’s Day. I was like “Screw Valentine’s Day.” I was one of THOSE. I don’t know what I was so pissed about but I doubt Valentine’s Day had directly hurt me in any way.

Why would I SCOFF about a bright and delightful and treat filled holiday that comes to sweeten things up literally and figuratively RIGHT WHEN WE NEED IT MOST?! Like, it’s freezing cold and raining and snowing and there is no sunlight and we’re all very pale and have a cold and January lasted for five years and it’s time for something happy.

IT IS TIME.

I don’t see any OTHER February holidays stepping up to bring us joy. Presidents Day, looking at YOU.

My clearest memory of Valentine’s Day as a kid was its mention in the Samantha Parkington American Girl books. Samantha Parkington is the basic bitch of American Girl dolls but the one thing that stuck with me is that in one of her books they made valentines. They were making them with glue and like…scraps. She was hanging out with her aunt making these scrapentines and I thought that sounded really cool.

So in the back where they hid the real historical info I located the passage about the valentines. They saved scraps for valentines for real in Victorian times! Scraps from magazines and newspapers and little pieces of ribbon or fabric from making their own clothes (I guess). And they kept them in a special box, and every year they took that box out to make valentines. Like how freakin cool is that?!

Okay maybe YOU don’t think it’s cool. But it was an exciting moment for me. To find out that ladies with free time been crafting since forevs. I was young and impressionable. Also they could have just made all this up because I couldn’t really confirm it anywhere on the internet.

The idea of “Galentines” is what got me fully back on board with Valentine’s Day at a level I haven’t been on since like, 11th grade. I was like “OMG valentines can be your FRIENDS?! You can celebrate FRIENDSHIP and still eat sweet treats and not miss out on pink and red sparkly shit and other various seasonal crafts?! SIGN ME UP.”

This all ties in with Valentines Day at Target because I now ENJOY THE HECK OUT OF frolicking through target looking at Valentine’s Day shit. I will buy anything. I mean that goes for anything at Target. I will buy anything out of anything at Target.

Target has Valentine’s Day versions of LITERALLY EVERY candy and snack.

THEY HAD VALENTINE’S DAY MUDDY BUDDIES. Do you know how I feel about Muddy Buddies?

I FEEL REAL GOOD ABOUT MUDDY BUDDIES.

There were so very many cute valentines for kids to take to school with them.

Unicorns, dinosaurs, cartoon characters that I don’t know of that only little kids care about, EVERYTHING.

Best of all, they had fun decorative treats for adults. Adults like ME that like to buy shit. I got these birds because I’m trying to have some birds for every holiday:

So far I have birds for Halloween, Xmas, and now Valentine’s Day.

NEXT UP IS OBTAINING TARGET BIRDS FOR THE VERNAL EQUINOX. KNOWN TO SOME AS “EASTER” BUT I DON’T THINK OF EASTER IN THE CHRISTIAN SENSE, THX.

I also got this very fun little wreath made out of metal and string. I probably could have made it myself but that wouldn’t have been as fun as going to Target to get it.

Additionally they had fun sprinkles and baking shit so I got some to make cookies! I gave the cookies out at book club and I should have made more cookies to bring to work for Valentine’s Day but I got too tired. We’re in the middle of the cold, dark, terrible, soul sucking winter, after all.

So what I’m saying is, enjoy Valentine’s Day. There is some fun and colorful and delicious shit going on. Don’t be a grump and miss out on it. Honestly it’s all things you can even do by yourself.

You can eat candy by yourself, and cookies and cupcakes. Yes, you are fully capable of eating by yourself. I do it all the time!

You can buy yourself flowers. I highly recommend it. I didn’t get myself flowers this year because I live far away from the world on The Hill now and I didn’t feel like carrying them from Kanibal to my house. But if that irritating geographical roadblock wasn’t looming in my path I totally would have.

Cook yourself dinner, take yourself on an adventure, write yourself a card. Screw it.

Also, GALENTINE’S. Today (Feb 13) is the day for the gals, but my friends and I are celebrating it on Saturday at Porta. Porta does a great job at all things, but Galentine’s is one of their crowning achievements. There are drink specials and food specials and fun activities and decorations and it’s a very joyful and celebratory time. AGAIN, it is a bright shining beacon in the bleak landscape of winter. I can’t even deal with winter anymore I’m struggling and hanging on by a thread.

So hopefully if you’re a gal or pal of gals I’ll see you at Porta Jersey City on Saturday 2/15 between 11am and 4pm and we will smile and laugh and drink and cheers and celebrate all that is bright and sweet in the world. Like all of us are.

Awwwwwwwbarffffff.

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