aren’t you cold?

“Aren’t you cold?” is the rudest, most condescending, incredibly invasive question and I will no longer stand for it. I mean I’ve never really “stood for” people asking “Aren’t you cold?” I’ve worked against this restrictive, judgmental, ridiculous temperature construct my entire life, but in this post I will EVISCERATE IT.

I get this question often, like if I don’t wear tights with a skirt on a 50 degree day, or I just wear my small leather jacket and a scarf on a 40 degree day and people’s heads explode. They can’t take it. My dad also gets it for his year round shorts wearing, and a friend I went to brunch with was getting it yesterday. WORST OF ALL, my 5 year old nephew gets it because he likes to wear sleeveless shirts year round.

The outrage I feel over this is immense, and I meant to write this yesterday but drank too many mimosas. So the rage has only been building and brewing and festering.

If you are a friend, stranger, or family member of someone that is dressed a certain way and you ask them “Aren’t you cold?” you are being a completely irredeemable dick head. And this is why.

you’re implying this person can’t take care of themselves.

Yes, you are 100% implying this “underdressed” person has no idea how their own body works and reacts to the environment around it and that YOU in some way KNOW BETTER. They have failed at choosing appropriate clothing for the day and you are there to set them straight. You are wise and all knowing and control how all bodies react to certain weather conditions, and your opinion is the only valid one that counts.

If you’re insulting a small child that has chosen his own sleeveless shirt to wear on a January day, and he feels fine and his mom knows he’s fine, you’re ALSO hurling a HELL OF AN INSULT at his mom, who knows what is best for him, and also knows that he is usually warm so he is FINE. And you’re being a straight up dick. Moms of small children have enough to worry about without you accusing them of not knowing how to care for their small children. Ugh, I hate you.

you’re gaslighting them.

This may seem extreme but you freaking are. You’ve decided that they are somehow “crazy” for not wearing more or different clothing and that you need to talk them off the ledge. The objective is to convince them they are crazy and wrong and can’t dress themselves properly. You need to reason with them, and your way of reasoning with them is asking a dismissive AF question like, “Aren’t you cold?”

The goal when asking “Aren’t you cold?” is to shame the recipient of the question. It’s intended to shame them into wearing different clothing because “Aren’t you cold?” is intended to cause an internal downward spiral that results in second-guessing any and all choices they have made for themselves that day.

Words are weapons, and this question is a weapon. It is unfair, manipulative, and abusive. Do not ask people this question. If you feel this question bubbling up out of your throat, swallow it back down into your rotten insides where it belongs.

DO NOT try to tell me that you are asking people “Aren’t you cold?” because you care about them and you don’t want them to be cold. If you say that, YOU ARE LYING. You don’t care about SHIT beyond exerting your arbitrary opinion over another person and feeling powerful and all knowing by doing that.

I’d like you to know you are NOT powerful and all-knowing, and you are simply a nosy, bossy, busy body asshole.

mind your business.

In this world, there are two kinds of people: those who mind their own business and those who don’t. There are TOO MANY PEOPLE NOT MINDING THEIR OWN BUSINESS.


“Aren’t you cold?” is an unnecessary question that only serves to stroke your ego. You’re not HELPING anyone or CONTRIBUTING to anything by asking this. You are worthless in this particular space, so stop clawing for relevancy.

Since it doesn’t count, just don’t say it! Just stop! You’re being annoying! You’re not helping! You are HURTING! I am OUTRAGED by this. The next time someone asks me or a friend or my dad or my nephew “Aren’t you cold?” I will kick them in the face. That is my plan. So if you think you’re going to be asking me or ANY OF THEM this RIDICULOUS question please keep in mind that you should watch out for my right leg because if I’m mad enough, AND I WILL BE, it will be powerful and flexible enough to reach up and strike your stupid face.

Violence is not the answer and I’m not violent but a point must be made for you “Aren’t you cold?” jerks to learn.

Do you think “Aren’t you cold?” is an acceptable question? I DON’T CARE IF YOU THINK IT IS ACCEPTABLE BECAUSE IT’S NOT.

5 thoughts on “aren’t you cold?

  1. Shannon- Anytime my listless brain needs awakening, I can count on the passion of your blog to kick me in the face and make me smile. Aren’t you cold?

  2. I totally agree with you I think its just rude!!!!!!!! I myself as you do know how to take care of my self I don’t need comments or looks from people as if I am incapable of making a decision!

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