​CHOC·O·PAIN on jersey ave.

This morning after Sai’s badass Train Jane HIIT class filled with perfectly curated music, I went to CHOC·O·PAIN on Jersey Ave.

I’m speaking of theCHOC·O·PAIN on Jersey Ave in Downtown Jersey City specifically because it is around the block from my previous, beloved and much missed, apartment on Columbus. I lived there for 7 years and the adjustment period has been difficult. So any time I get to return to places I frequented in that halcyon age my cold black heart fills with joy.

CHOC·O·PAIN on Jersey Ave was another bakery kinda store when I first moved in. I forget the name and I even looked it up like two months ago. I’ll look it up again.

Then it changed into a cold pressed juice store. Which I really, really enjoyed. They had a watermelon juice that was the best watermelon juice I’ve ever had. It was perfect for terribly hot summer days and saved me from dehydration more than once.

But nothing gold can stay and eventually that place closed and CHOC·O·PAIN moved in. But CHOC·O·PAIN on Jersey Ave is also gold! Don’t worry!

I’m no pro on French shit and I have never been to France or even the continent of Europe. I haven’t even left the continent of North America so I don’t know if my opinions about foods count. But they have the best almond croissant of my life. They also have chocolate almond croissants, in a “why not both?” power move, and I like those even more.

Their egg sandwich is one of my favorite Jersey City breakfasts and there was a time I got them every Saturday morning. It’s on multigrain bread with like…seeds in it? And you crunch on the seeds as you eat the bread and it’s fun and delicious and also seems healthy in some way. Also included – ricotta and spinach. Ricotta on a breakfast sandwich was a LEGIT REVOLUTION the first time I had it, and I’ve never looked back.

Unflattering pic of egg sandwich.

The Tuna Sandwich is another incredible item. Yes I am using Tuna Sandwich as a proper noun. This one deserves it. On the CHOC·O·PAIN Tuna Sandwich is – TUNA DUH, red peppers, avocado…there might be one or two other things I forget. But trust me it’s incred. You can get it on a harder bread or a softer bread. Again I’m no expert so I forget the names of the breads beyond “hard” or “soft.” I go for the “soft” for the Tuna Sandwich or else the top of my mouth gets all scratched up. I do believe that’s an American thing we’re supposed to be embarrassed about.

Tuna on the left.

But I’m not embarrassed. Sorry. The roof of my mouth is soft and I am proud.

Or I’m not sorry.

I don’t know if I’m sorry. Leave me alone.

I’ve only ever had samples of their cakes and tarts but those samples are GOOD. One day I will get a whole chocolate one for a celebration or for my dad and he’ll eat the entire thing in one day. If you were wondering where I got that from.

They have quiche lorraine which is like a thing but I’ve never tried it. It just makes me think of that B-52s song so that’s entertaining.

CHOC·O·PAIN on Jersey Ave has a variety of kouign amann, which the folks working there usually refer to as a “queen” and the whole time I thought “kouign amann” was pronounced differently and they were saying it wrong or it was actually something else but I just looked it up and I thought wrong. Of course I was wrong! Did I think I knew something about French shit? Am I insane?!

👑👑👑

They DEF know about French shit at CHOC·O·PAIN, is what I’m saying.

You’ve probably already realized this but they have INCRED. BREADS. It’s a the best place to get a fresh loaf of whatever to bring to a party to add to a meats and cheeses plate. Again, I don’t know the government names of the breads. I just point to them. Some are soft, some have harder crusts. Some are brown, some are other brown. All I know is that I like them all and love bringing them to parties. PEOPLE’S EYES LIGHT UP WHEN YOU WALK IN WITH THIS BREAD ON YOUR ARM.

Brown.
Other brown.

It’s an okay place to go and get some work done, and they do have free Wifi, but the CHOC·O·PAIN on Jersey Ave is kind of small and lots of people with strollers go in there and jam it up, so sometimes it’s a little too crowded to hang around. You may want to get your French shit to go, is my pro tip.

They also have locations in Hoboken (not going THERE) and the Jersey City Heights (been there, love it, WILL GO BACK).

Do you like CHOC·O·PAIN? What’s your fav thing there?

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