sober january midpoint.

You all know I was pumped AF for Sober January. And the truth is…I’m still pumped AF now that we have approached the Sober January midpoint!

At this Sober January midpoint I’m also going to offer a correction, it’s not as much “sober” January as it is “Dry” January. As in, my abstention is alcohol specific. I’m sorry I didn’t clarify that earlier.

I got a CBD mocktail at brunch at Frankie a couple of weeks ago and I got teased (maybe I got teased for other things but this isn’t that kind of blog) and you know what? Fair enough. I guess CBD (and other things) are like a “substance.” Fine. But now I’m going to go ahead and say it is not FULLY SOBER but it is DRY.

It was tough last year because I was used to drinking on concurrent days and going out and doing drinking activities a few times a week so I felt like I was missing out when I stopped. Then I had to learn how to cope with being around drunk people when I’m sober/dry AND IT IS VERY HARD. DRUNK PEOPLE ARE SO ANNOYING WHEN YOU AREN’T ONE.

In 2020 it has been very, very easy. I don’t want to jinx myself but I love not drinking and I love having a good excuse not to. I DO enjoy drinking SOMETIMES so I don’t want to completely disown it but I feel fab AF when I’m not doing it.

I’m feeling SO fab that I feel like maybe I didn’t make this “challenge” hard enough for myself. Like it’s not hard. Because I like it. And in giving something up, I actually feel like I have MORE.

But I feel like I’m doing it wrong, that it shouldn’t be so easy because I’m meant to suffer. To learn a lesson. And then someone at work yesterday was like “I’m trying to do less sugar too!” And I was HORRIFIED. Like it gave me a roller coaster sick feeling thinking about it. GIVE UP SUGAR?!?! I CANNOT! I WILL NOT! I NEED IT TO LIVE!

Then I realized that drinking may not be a problem for me anymore. But sugar MOST CERTAINLY IS. Everyone around me that does Dry January says they crave sugar more when they give up alcohol. And that’s cool…but I crave sugar like that all day every day all year round. And then I eat it. And then an hour later I eat more.

Sugar is pretty bad for you, according to my doctor and the Internet. Diabetes is terrifying and rat brains light up for sugar the same way they light up for cocaine, and children act insane when they eat sugar so something is clearly going on with it, etc etc.

So I use a food tracking app – FOR MY HEALTH – and I was like okay I’m gonna set my daily sugar limit to 25g. And every single day I go over that limit. EVERY SINGLE DAY. By at least 20, so it’s like 40 something…g’s? More often than not it is OVER ONE HUNDRED. THIS IS DAILY.

And yes I’m aware that there’s sugar in fruit and there’s like “secret sugar” in stuff that you don’t think is in there and you have to check the label. What I’m saying is that I knowingly eat fruit sugar, “secret sugar,” and full on whole ass sugar every day. I can’t be stopped.

I need to stop.

I should have done sugar free January.

But I didn’t.

It’s the sober January midpoint and I’m doing great. So there’s that.

Are you doing sober or dry January? Are you excited about it? Is it easy? Is it hard? Do you hate it? Who is your most annoying drunk friend? Just wondering.