i like my theragun.

Guys, I just want to say, I like my Theragun. It’s yet another friendly little robot that does my bidding and makes my life better.

I didn’t know what it was or pay much attention to it until one of my good friends started working for them. But then it took me at least a year to actually pay attention to it. And I like my Theragun.

It’s important to me that I work out 5 or 6 times a week. That doesn’t always happen, but when it DOES happen my whole body usually hurts. Nothing really ever makes my body stop hurting though, and actually if I STOP working out it starts to hurt EVEN WORSE. I have found myself trapped in a use it or lose it, just keep swimming so I don’t sink to the murky depths situation.

You may or may not be interested to know that my body has hurt every day since I was at least 14 years old. I partly blame myself because I chose to participate in an activity that often called for me to do jumps and backflips on cement surfaces. And it was expected and encouraged, by the adults around me, to do jumps and backflips on cement surfaces.

The folly of youth is thinking that you will never get hurt. The punishment for that folly is having an aching body every day for the last…omg for the last 21 years. WTF is TIME?! It is KILLING ME TODAY.

At the gym earlier, for whatever reason I was thinking about high school, maybe because I thought about the backflips on the cement, and I was like if I went back there now what would the kids think of me? And I was like lol they would look at me like how I looked at people that were teenagers in like, 1990 when I was a teenager in 2000. And then I realized that NO, they would look at me like I would have looked at someone that was a teenager in NINETEEN-EIGHTY (1980) because I am TWENTY YEARS OLDER THAN THEM.

I mean WTF.

And I am aware that most people my age have bodies that hurt. There are many memes, about being over 25 and the body hurting. And the waking up and the being sore. And the back aching. Etc, etc. Please just know and acknowledge that my body has been hurting like this for over 20 years. And think about what that’s like.

But yes I like my Theragun. Frankly it’s the only thing that has worked on certain spots of my body. I use the foam roller, I use a lacrosse ball, I’m always rolling around all over my living room trying to massage myself. My friend once referred to using these items as the “poor man’s (Shan’s) massage” and I think she was right on target. Something that never really gets properly broken up when it’s tense is like…my side butt cheek? I’m sure it has an anatomic name I’m not aware of. Where is TAM when I need her?

My side butt cheek is always very tense because I guess it’s in charge of a lot. Leg stuff, back stuff, and also…butt stuff. As far as the way my body is moving and going through the day. Not like ACTUAL butt stuff. But it’s kind of in a weird spot where it’s hard to massage and kind of a production to get to with the foam roller and maybe too intense to get to with the lacrosse ball.

So it never gets massaged properly and the muscles all stay tight and then I think they squeeze on my nerves, I’m not 100% sure, I don’t know their life. But according to Google it’s prob a sciatic nerve situation and I’m really just trying to sort it out.

The Theragun really helps with loosening up the side butt. I just turn it on and press it really hard into the side butt. Sometimes I get bruises from how hard I press but I really just need the relief it provides. Once I take the pressure off I feel immediately lighter and looser! But this only lasts for about 3 hours before I have to do it again or just deal with the pain.

Lately I have been waking up earlier to drink coffee at home before I go to the gym (life changing!) and while I drink my coffee I also use the Theragun. The issue with this is that it’s loud and it…vibrates, so I feel like my downstairs neighbor might be getting some weird ideas about what is happening above her head at 6:11am. I guess she should prob just trust the process.

If you’re not familiar with fitness, I just realized that some of this may not make any sense to you. Apparently breaking up stiff muscles is like a “thing” you’re supposed to do. I kind of forget the scientific reason why but it helps with stretching and preventing injuries. Basically what they’ve always told you about stretching is true, which is YOU NEED TO EFFING STRETCH.

Stretch and stretch and stretch and never forget. But now you can use a Theragun too, and I like my Theragun.

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