xmas textes from exes.

I realize this isn’t grammatically correct and I apologize but I think you know what I mean when I say “xmas textes from exes.” Like I just manipulated the words so they would rhyme.

Perhaps I SHAN-ipulated the words so they would rhyme.

Get it?

Either way xmas textes from exes are like…wtf? It’s just like every other time one of your ex “whatever” randomly texts you and you’re like… “wtf?” Except it’s during a holiday. So if you’re young and/or sad/lonely and/or still a moron about human interactions and relationships…sometimes it will get your hopes up.

Because you’re like “omg it is a HOLIDAY, it is a VERY SPECIAL DAY, and they would NOT be texting me unless they REALLY CARED ABOUT ME. AND THEY JUST TEXTED SO THAT MEANS THEY DO. OMGOMG WE ARE IN LOVE AGAIN!”

And it takes literal YEARS to not believe that every ex that texts on Xmas wants to get back together with you and loves you forever. Like it’s just not happening. But when you are younger and dumber and still have dreams it seems like it might happen.

And that’s not cool. Or fair. Or even humane, frankly.

So why do people do this? Do they literally think they are Santa? And they can now appear one special day a year and be like magical or some shit?

Although I am now immune to giving a shit about textes from exes I still don’t fully understand the WHY behind this particular species of seasonal greeting. It just makes no sense and accomplishes nothing.

Is it a power move? Like, an “I have power” move made by the exes? Probably. Everyone is terrible.

Anyway I didn’t get any textes from exes this year. And I was thinking about how grateful I am for that. I guess that’s what Santa brought me. Did I say I was grateful? I wish the same for you.

Stuff like this makes me think about all the times that people said “After you turn 30 there are a lot of things you don’t give a shit about anymore and it feels great,” and I was like “Eye roll.” But now I’m seeing some of that come into play and it IS great. I guess I’m just 5 years behind because I’m only reaping the benefits now, at 35.

I had too many mimosas and coffees with Bailey’s today so this isn’t a fully developed thought. But my gratitude remains.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

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