the jersey city target wondershop is completely and irretrievably ravaged.

The Jersey City Target is in a perpetual state of ravaged at all times of year, but right now the Jersey City Target “Wondershop” is completely and irretrievably ravaged.

Wondershop, struggling to stay awake.

As of December 21st, the winter solstice, shortest day of the year, and first day of winter (oh and Joy’s bday!) this particular Wondershop had lost all sense of wonder. It was sad and empty and picked clean. It appears to be hungover from the holiday and the holiday hasn’t even happened yet.

What’s that terrible expression about horses that people use to describe women that look like they had a “long night?” Oh… “Rode hard and put away wet.” Ew.

Inexplicable unattended bagel.

But this Target Wondershop looks like that. I resent the implication that it was up to no good in some way, but it really looks like it wasn’t treated well, it probably didn’t even have any fun, and it also had to pay the bill.

The Jersey City Target Wondershop needs a spa day. Overall this Target location seems to have a very VERY difficult time keeping up with the demand of its customers. It also has the appearance of a place where large packs of animals like wolves or lions or alligators have been doing their shopping.

WE HAVE ALL COME TO CLAIM THE WONDER THAT IS OURS.

Many things are always completely, COMPLETELY sold out and you’re like why were so many people drawn to this one thing?! And why are they all gone?! One time a full freezer case of ground turkey was empty. Just, NOTHING IN IT. Where did all the ground turkey go and why would they not have more?!

I’m aware that resources are finite, I GET IT, but it just seems like they would expect these situations and stock up? Or maybe not. Perhaps this is the sign of the end times, and the inevitable “running out of stuff” that will lead to the demise of humankind.

And this is the line for Starbucks. It was faster to walk to the next closest Starbucks.

This is nothing against Target. You obviously know I love Target because everyone loves Target. How could you not love Target? I realize this is the cliche and basic thing to say but Target can’t do anything wrong ever.

Honestly I should feel honored and grateful that Target even provides us with a Wondershop. A happy little place where we can find anything we could possibly want or think of for this Xmas holiday.

Except for at the Wondershop in Jersey City because it is picked clean.

Picked. Clean.

And maybe it’s my fault. Maybe I should have gone to the Wondershop when it began, probably a little before Thanksgiving. I did frequent the Hyde and Eek Boutique when it was there, BECAUSE DUH.

Maybe I’ve waited too long to get all my Xmas crap, like cookie sprinkles and cutters and ingredients, and wrapping paper and bows and shit, and it’s on me.

I’ve also gone to Target like 4 times in the last 7 days because I enjoy just being present in Target during my free time, and I HAVE noticed that they’ve filled in some spots that were fully ravaged the time before. But they filled in the ravaged spots with what I would consider half assed replacements, like huge cheap bags of candy in place of cool ornaments.

Because they ran out. Because the Jersey City Target Wondershop is completely and irretrievably ravaged.

I don’t know how this can be improved, and I guess I don’t really have a point. I just wanted to marvel at the incredible level of consumerism we are operating at over here in JC. And everywhere I guess. There’s just so many of us here and we love to CONSUME and we have FULLY CONSUMED ALL AVAILABLE XMAS RESOURCES.

If you don’t believe me go have a look for yourself. It’s like they predicted a hurricane or a blizzard was coming and everyone went and bought all the bottled water or whatever but instead they dashed into the Wondershop and started ripping everything off the shelves and stuffing their carts and pockets and faces with whatever they could grab and then they checked out and threw it all in their car and then they went back and Wondershopped some more but harder this time and they did that whole cycle at least 10 times.

It’s that ravaged.

If you don’t live in Jersey City, what is the status of YOUR Target Wondershop as of 12/21/19? The people want to know. Maybe I’ll move where you live if conditions are better.

JK I would never.

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