ode to an airport breakfast sandwich.

I’ve been at a number of airports where the breakfast sandwiches suck. This is not the case at my beloved Newark Liberty International Airport. This is an ode to an airport breakfast sandwich.

I can choose exactly what I want, I don’t have to speak to a person, the robot assists me.

Luv u, robot. ❤️

I can browse the larger marketplace while the sandwich is prepared, I can choose many beverages from the selections of beverages, maybe some fruit, or a turkey jerky. But there was a very clear picture of a very pretty wild turkey on the jerky today and it didn’t seem right. Damn you Audobon with your turkey facts! You’ve ruined one of my only sources of protein!

In the airport, time and space are suspended and calories do not matter. In the airport you are in a place that is everywhere and nowhere all at once and you can’t possibly gain weight in that kind of space.

Who cares about gaining weight anyway? Actually, I do. It makes me sleepy, extra weight.

But back to the sandwich. Turkey, cheese, egg, avocado, whole wheat everything bagel. Boom. The sandwich didn’t have a picture of a beautiful wild turkey on it so the sandwich turkey was acceptable.

A third robot keeps me company during my meal.

The robot texts me when it’s ready. I grab it. The robot has served me well.

Checkout robot.

I head to my gate and eat my sandwich. It is incred. But eating it makes me very hot and I have to strip down to my sports bra and I think people are frightened.


See you in LA. 😎

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