jersey girls go to the rockettes thing at radio city.

Last night we went to the Rockettes thing at Radio City Music Hall on the island of Manhattan. It was fab! Some friends I go to JaneDO with and one of their moms and I went together, because a few of the trainer gals we’ve taken class with are Rockettes. AND WE SPOTTED THEM.

Full disclosure, I grew up in New Jersey and like other New Jersey kids you would THINK that I probably attended this spectacle at some point in my childhood but I did NOT. So the first time I ever went or even saw it or even really thought about it was last year. Or maybe I thought about it a few years ago but just went for the first time last year.

People in Santa hats from Party City look upon the hallowed stage in awe.

And I missed out as a kid! Because there are some narrative threads in the Rockettes thing at Radio City that are only good for kids. Like when two brothers go shopping for an Xmas gift for their little sis and they’re asking Santa all these questions and it reallyyyyy draaagsss onnnn… I had to remember that part is for the kids. Let ‘em have it. But also that part has a Santa acid trip situation happening so I’m not really sure if that’s kid friendly. Because it’s terrifying.

I did notice this year that there were a lot of ads in the beginning 3D glasses part and that’s fine, but any time that ads are kinda slid into everything like that it makes me think of the Josie and the Pussycats movie from 2001. Where there were ads all over literally everything and 16 year old me was like “harhar what a stab at capitalism and an allegory oooo so subversive but also that will never happen. Ads eveywheee?! Come onnnn harharhar.” And then it happened. Because that is now. Josie knew it all along. Also I dare you to listen to this song and not get it in your head. Shit now it’s in my head.

Basically any part of the show that included the Rockettes was the best part of the show. And I guess they are the stars after all! This is the Rockettes thing at Radio City, you guys.

Their PRECISION is MIND BLOWING. In the wooden soldier part, everything down to the way their pants wrinkled when they took a shuffling step was exactly the same. Like what kind of insane dance practice do you have to do to make that happen? SUPER INSANE, THAT IS THE KIND.

This is a terrible photo but you get it.

Okay so let’s talk about all of their outfits. They do that part as wooden soldiers which is cool, they have a cute little holiday dress part, omg they’re also reindeer, rag dolls, and wear a sparkly fancy gold ensemble at the end. Beyond all of those in my favorite part they ride a NY sightseeing bus in adorable Xmas colored coats with matching hats and then they do a costume change IN THE BUS into some sparkly dancer getups and the ones in green do a dance first and the ones in red fire their dance shot back and then they dance together. The bus part is so cool because there is a screen moving behind it, and it is choreographed so well with the screen and the bus moving and their PERFECTLY PRECISE MOVEMENTS that it looks like they are really riding a bus in the streets of NYC. It was truly an inspiration.

They are women but they are ALSO REINDEER.

Sometimes I go to a place in my mind, as I’m watching something like this, where I really admire people that can do this kind of stuff with their bodies. And I’m just in awe. That they can use their bodies alongside others also using their bodies and then that movement is considered art. And this art looks amazing and visually dynamic and interesting and your brain pretty much explodes and it makes you feel like a, “YEAH!” feeling and you want to throw your fist in the air.

So I said, “YEAH!” and threw my fist in the air. And people were like, “What’s with this fist in the air gal?” I don’t know I just get so pumped up. The Rockettes are working hard all day every day. They are insane athletes as well as finely tuned, highly trained dance machines but they also are smiling and sparkly. It’s impressive. Okay I’ll say it again, I’m impressed.

Is this like, a stoned kind of thought? I’m not stoned right now but am I being weird? I DO NOT CARE THE ROCKETTES ARE BADASS THX BYE.

Okay Santa…we get it.

I also enjoy the other dancers! I think the point is, I’m a terrible dancer so I really, really admire those that can dance. It’s a lifelong thing. Last year one of my favorite parts was a group of seemingly teenagers (hard to tell because I have poor eyesight) by a pond in a park and they dance to Peanuts music and if there is one thing I love IT IS PEANUTS MUSIC.

UNFORCH this year I had eaten a tainted Target salad for lunch that day and had to leave before this number to spend some time being sick in the Radio City Music Hall bathroom/“ladies lounge.” That’s what happens when you eat salad. They do have the best bathroom though, I’ll give them that. I’ve been in love with it since the first time I saw it at a Death Cab for Cutie concert 10 years ago. Okay you caught me, I got sick on purpose to hang out in the bathroom.

Between the bathroom and the chandelier 10/10 would get sick again. Sponsored by Chase.

During the “Nutcracker Dream Scene” part there was a tiny little ballerina gal and she was KILLIN. IT. I love to see like super young kids killin it at physical stuff that takes a lot of time and focus and dedication. These feats working against humanity’s natural pull toward laziness and mediocrity inspire me.

I will once again say I was inspired. Because I was.

Bastion of inspiration!

Then toward the end they do the whole “Christmas” story with the star and the kings and the baby and stuff but MOST IMPORTANTLY this part features LIVE FARM ANIMALS. INCLUDING CAMELS. I GUESS CAMELS AREN’T REALLY FARM ANIMALS SORRY CAMELS.


During the last part of their Christmas story speech I was watching the camels standing in the back while everyone was playing the part of being focused on baby Jesus and the camels were just looking camel-y with their long lashes and I loved it.

Sheep and a donkey were also in attendance.

This is important information.

Overall we had a great time! I didn’t drink because I try not to during the week but my companions did and I saw a cute little Prosecco with a candy cane in it and that would have been my personal choice if I felt like drinking. Just FYI.

Have you attended the Rockettes thing at Radio City? Did you go when you were a kid? What’s different now as an adult? TELL ME.

PS I do know that the government name of this show is The Christmas Spectacular Staring the Radio City Rockettes. I was calling it the Rockettes thing at Radio City to be silly. Let me live.

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