big balloons.

Yesterday we celebrated Nick’s birthday at Low Fidelity in The Heights, one of my top 3 JC bars. And I guess Nick’s too because he chose it. And I brought big balloons!

I’ve never gotten these big basic bitch balloons for anyone’s birthday before and I was excited to try it!

I ordered them from Party City on 14th st and walked down from where I work by Madison Square Park to pick them up.

Then I carried them back up 5th ave. Then I took them on the 23rd st PATH train to Hoboken.

My view on the PATH train.

Then I walked to Pie66, a new “concept” (wut?) by Bucket and Bay. This was apple crumble and it was REAL GOOD YOU GUYS.

Then I carried the big balloons and the pie down First st all the way west across Hoboken and walked up the Second St stairs to Low Fidelity in the heights. This was very serious business.

People I encountered were curious or excited or hateful about the big balloons. It was a mixed bag and honestly quite difficult to know how people were going to react to the big balloons and there were surprises at every turn in every leg of the journey.

Children loved them. They looked up at them in awe and yelled “Balloons!” or “Birthday!” or “Woo!” or something I couldn’t understand but it seemed positive. Their nannies shuffled them along.

Families of tourists were also delighted. They stood in their groups in front of Eataly (ALWAYS IN THE GOD DAMN WAY) and stared at me and looked at each other and stared back at me and looked at each other again and said some shit I again couldn’t understand but again seemed positive.

Regular NYC people walking around on errands or on their lunch break or to get somewhere were NOT pleased because they are NEVER pleased by anything slightly in the way or out of the ordinary and just want to plow past it and let out a big exasperated sigh and roll their eyes. I was inconveniencing them. I know this because when I see people going too slow or taking up more space than they’re allotted to take up on the sidewalk I also feel inconvenienced and therefore outraged.

We don’t like to be inconvenienced in these parts.

More than one person yelled “Happy Birthday!” And I was like DO I LIKE 40 TO YOU?! JEEZUZ.

A dad with his like 2 year old was all “Looks like someone is turning 0-4 harhar.” Shut up.

Two little skater dudes skated by on the sidewalk and I kinda jumped because I didn’t see them and the one was like “sorry ma’am!” And I was like “no! Oh no you didn’t do anything wrong!” Because I’m not a regular ma’am, I’m a cool ma’am. And the other one was like “Have a good birthday!” And they cruised away down First St and I was like well I guess I DO look 40 to the YOUTH.

The big balloons are my only friends now.

The most treacherous part was when I brought the balloons into the PATH station and down the stairs and up the stairs again, and there is that INTENSE SUCKING TORNADO WIND that you never notice is happening until you wear a skirt in the summer and it blows up over your waist and everyone sees your underwear if you happen to be wearing any and you’re like “who put this wind here?!” That wind almost killed the big balloons. Actually I do think it seriously injured one of the confetti ones. It was never the same after that. Frankly it just phoned it in for the rest of the night.

I really think the big balloons were a hit! At the end of the night Nick popped the 4 though. He said he didn’t but he was the one holding the 4 and it popped so I’ll leave that for you to decide. And it’s okay! It was his party and he’ll pop the 4 if he wants to.

Nick’s childhood pal saying “This is what 40 feels like.”

Thanks to everyone that came to hang! <3

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