Gal dates are important, you guys. “Gal dates” meaning if you are a gal and you’re hanging out with your platonic gal pals. Not gals on romantic dates together. That’s another great thing I’m sure, but not what this is about.
In high school and college I was one of those girls that “got along better with guys” and had more guy friends.
They say those kind of girls are “a problem” but mostly I didn’t want to be around other girls because other girls are judgmental as hell. I didn’t want to deal with like, “you’re acting the wrong way, you’re wearing the wrong thing, why would you make out with that guy, bla bla bla, etc etc.” Basically other girls get to define what is “slutty” and that was always “stupid as hell” to me.
So I hung out more with guys because they all probably wanted to make out with me (probably just because I was there) so they let me be myself and do whatever I wanted and this was very freeing.
This was before feminism and supporting other women’s choices, even if they aren’t your own choices, became trendy. I’m so glad it’s trendy now. Because everyone is on board and I’m like well I WAS saying this 15 years ago but okay I’m glad you finally caught on. Maybe I’m still a little mad I had to deal with the days before it was trendy but I’m going to try to focus on the glad.
I hope it’s not just trendy for adult gals but also trendy for gals in middle school and high school because that’s where the most judgmental trash happens.
After college I was like hmmm maybe since I’M not judgmental and annoying there may be some other gals like me and I should find them. And then I found them! They weren’t even really hiding! I was just being a close minded dick about other people. And I’m sorry.
In my 20s I worked at MTV and it was acceptable to wear skirts of questionable length and also acceptable to purchase those skirts of questionable length at Forever21 in the morning before work because you slept on your gal pal’s couch on 14th Street 2 or 3 nights a week so you didn’t have to go back to New Jersey at 4 in the morning. This was when I finally made some real gal pals! I mean I had always had like two or three very important ones that shouldn’t and won’t be forgotten but this was like a whole gang. A gang of gals that was not shitty, judgmental, and/or annoying.
After a couple of years of that I pretty much hated men overall and therefore did not prefer to be friends with dudes anymore, because if you’re not with us you’re against us. And if one of us succeeds we all succeed. And I was fully on the gal pal train.
JK I still have dude friends but the important thing is that I now have gal pals I go on gal dates with.
When we worked together it would be a gal date almost every night after work and then also on the weekends when there wasn’t work. Either way we were goin on gal dates.
Then some of us hit the road for a while but when we were in town we were like – GAL DATES!
And now some of the pals are married or have kids or both or live in the suburbs and we still try to have gal dates.
What I’m saying is, gal dates are important. Gal dates help you remember who you are!
When you’re busy and you’re doing no less than one million things you still have to find a moment to check in with pals and remember that you are a whole fully formed person beyond your job or your partner or your baby or your house or your hermit crab or WHATEVER. You need to sit with the gals and talk about stuff and remember the good times and live to see another day.
Most of the time with the gal pals I feel my best self. My smartest and funniest and most colorful and most alive. These gals chose me to be their pal, and that must mean something good. Even if I cry for whatever reason, which happens some times, I am crying the most justified and beautiful tears.
This is so boring and I’m grossed out I’m even saying it but as you get older you realize you need to make an effort to keep friends. Everyone gets so busy and has so much to do and they’re being pulled in all directions so it really takes concentration and persistence and scheduling to get these gal dates to happen.
And they do!
Tonight we went to The Grey Dog, one of our past and present favs. We used to go there for lunch when we worked at MTV when they had an office on Hudson St. Do they still?! They don’t have a Grey Dog on Carmine anymore and that’s where we used to go. But Grey Dogs remain across the island of Manhattan.
And so do gal pals.
Do you have gal pals? How hard is it to keep up with your gal pals? So hard?! Am I the only one this is hard for?! What do you like to do with your gal pals?
You may hate the word “gal” but it’s my new word because “girl” is infantilizing but “woman” just sounds so angry and accusatory and older than everyone around me and I can’t make peace with it. Gals!