the blaze.

I regret to inform you that what I hoped would start to be an annual trip to THE BLAZE last night was cancelled due to bullshit rain.

I did go last year, so in the spirit of throwback Thursday I will share that experience with you now.

Entering THE BLAZE.

What is the THE BLAZE? To be more specific what is The Great Jack O’Lantern Blaze? WELL. First of all it’s awesome, and better than any other thing you were thinking of taking an hour train ride on the Metro North to do, because it’s all about Halloween.

How do I get to the Great Jack O’Lantern Blaze? Good question! As mentioned above it requires a train ride on the Metro North line out of Grand Central Station, the most refined of NYC stations. Actually the only station we’ll admit exists. We try to ignore the other ones and pretend they’re not there. That’s how you get embarrassing ugly things to go away. Duh.

Anyway you take this train up the Hudson to Croton-on-Hudson which is like why would you put hyphens in a town’s name that’s so annoying, and while on this train you probably would like to drink some “adult cider” or eat some “adult candy” or maybe actually eat your dinner because it’s dinner time and when you’re there you should be fully focused on THE BLAZE.

Drank adult cider.
Ate adult candy.

You arrive and you’re in a parking lot next to a train station and you’re confused but look they put up signs! So you follow the signs down a road and then turn right and then stuff starts to get a little bananas and there are cops directing traffic and you see that you have arrived at THE BLAZE.

Not the Metro North train. Just FYI.

THE BLAZE is actually at a maaaanor, called Van Cortlandt Maaaanor. What is Van Cordlant Manor, you ask? Probably some rich white dude did a thing. I don’t know but you can Google it I’m just here to talk about THE BLAZE.

Celtic…stuff. Don’t know much about it but it looks cool carved into pumpkins.

It’s a bunch of freaking pumpkins and they’re all hand carved into stuff! It is insane! Some of them are real pumpkins and I can confirm that because I got really close and smelled them and they smelled like pumpkin smell. Not pumpkin spice smell, ladies. Like the smell of actual pumpkins. The insides. Like the goo that gets all over your hands and arms when you carve them. LIKE THAT, OK?

These guys were ones I smelled. Verified pumpkin.

And they’re organized, presented, gathered, etc in so many fun different ways! They’re all over the place! You have to wander around and look into every little single pocket and corner of the path you’re walking along and there is so much detail and they’re all lit up and it’s so beautiful.

Omg these were all birds and the pumpkins were ALL IN A TREE.

They do have cider and adult cider (not adult candy though…NOT YET), and apple cider donuts and some more dinner time type foods if you didn’t already have your dinner time on the Metro North. We got apple cider donuts because in this family in October frankly we need apple cider donuts to meet requirements in our basic hierarchy of needs and therefore survive.

Dinosaurs went extinct from not eating enough apple cider donuts.
“RAWR! TRU!” – TRex

There’s also spoooooky music if you like spoooky music and I do so I really enjoyed that it was spooooky.

SPOOOOOOKY!

What’s even down this spooky pumpkin lined road?! NO ONE KNOWS.

How do they carve all the pumpkins at the great jack-o-lantern blaze? Honestly I have no idea I think they just use straight up magical skills and conjure the dark arts and they sold their souls to the headless horseman just for the talents to be able to carve these badass pumpkin pieces of art for the rest of time until the earth explodes and/or caves in on itself because that’s coming pretty soon.

Lady Lib, hey girl.
Inexplicably there was a whole section of possum ones but I was into it.
SPOOOOKY!

Have you been to THE BLAZE? What are your thoughts? Do you want to go to THE BLAZE? Did your parents take you to THE BLAZE and then you ate adult candy by accident and then you had nightmares for the rest of your life? Let me know thx.

Mythical creatures also get blazed.
“(muffled by water) RAWR! TRU!” – Nessie

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