double parked fest.

More fun shit happened in Jersey City this weekend! If you know Jersey City, you know that there’s always fun shit happening and there’s nothing you can do about it. So you should probably just go do the fun shit and get it over with. In Jersey City we love live Jersey City music and we were not disappointed on Saturday as live Jersey City music graced Newark Ave.

Pet Shop (my most favorite bar) and The Archer (as of today my most favorite place to eat a Frito pie even better than the first one I ever had at a roller derby match in Corpus Christi, TX) had an event called Double Parked Fest and it was a radio show and a rock concert and a street festival and it was everything I ever wanted out of a beautiful fall Saturday in Hudson County.

It started at noon so we arrived promptly at 12:15 to survey the scene. There was a giant drink shaker (?) atop a truck and it looked like a cement truck but it was intended to cement you in drunkenness in some way and had something to do with whiskey except I didn’t go over there so I’m not 100% sure what it had to do with whiskey. Some pals did get a drink from there and reported it was “very strong.”

Milk Sugar Love the greatest ice cream you’ve ever had, had a tent but I think they ran out because I went back a few hours later to get some and it had disappeared completely from the spot like it was abducted by aliens. I was really really sad.

ZeroKid the best vintage store to shop at while drunk and probably when not drunk but I’ve only ever shopped there drunk due to its proximity to Lucky7 and later hours, also had a tent. I noticed some great stuff in there as we walked by and meant to go back but didn’t but I’ll see you next time ZeroKid. Love you thx bye.

ADHD Driven was there with some AWESOME LOOKIN STUFF and I also didn’t get to go back over there but I did get to stop by her booth the next day at the Jersey City Oddities market and she had these awesome vintage hand dyed jeans and I couldn’t find any that fit among what she had there but she said she would assist me with finding ones that fit me in the future if I want AND I DO WANT.

WFMU was broadcasting live from the fest and I thought that was super cool. I have an unrequited crush on WFMU because I love everything they do and I make my co workers listen at work all the time like “This is the radio station of MY TOWN” and they’re like we don’t care but ok, and I wish I was cool like WFMU about all things music but I’m not but it’s ok because they allow me to admire them. They broadcasted and they said some things about the bands and I forget what they said but it was great. They also gave out free stickers and we are children so we love stickers so we took lots of those.

Arriving early before mostly anyone allowed us to secure a picnic table bench to sit at the whole entire time and we were super excited about this. Although we do support local businesses we also had a ton of white claws and bud lights left over from a housewarming party I had a month or so ago so I packed those up in a little cooler and they served our purposes for the majority of the time.

We shared the aforementioned WILD BOAR FRITO PIE

And also enjoyed one of these Goth Dogs from PM Dawg. THE BREAD WAS BLACK BECAUSE IT IS GOTH AND ALSO DELICIOUS.

The only bad thing that happened the whole day was an older man that seemingly didn’t have a full grasp on reality tried to talk to me at one point I think but he was talking into my deaf ear and I didn’t see him next to me because I was watching the performance and taking notes but also couldn’t hear him and he became outraged and tumbled into a verbal attack on me and my very existence, finally moving position so that I could hear him with my non deaf ear, but I still couldn’t hear him very well because LIVE MUSIC so then he was even more mad and told me “You’re out of your mind! You weren’t born in Jersey City!” Basically I think he was just mad because he saw me as the full embodiment of everything he hates about millennials and America and gentrification all rolled into one and then I was ignoring him so it made it even worse but I was like I am literally just standing here doing nothing, you asshole. But then he screamed “what is wrong with you?! Are you DEAF?!” And he like spit out “deaf” with such disgust. And I was like “yes. Yes I am deaf. I have a disability and I’m sorry that offends you.” And then he stalked off. And then I think he forgot about the whole thing so that was good. But I didn’t. Oh no, I did not forget and will continue to stoke the fire of my resentment toward him until the day I die. Thank you.

I won’t forget you, sir.

Anyway this was a musical event so I’m going to tell you about all of the musical acts except for the headliner Ex Hex and I’m sure they were great but we were there from 12:15pm to 7:57pm and Ex Hex went on at 8:15(?) and after Crazy and the Brains I was so pumped up but also so tired and couldn’t make it another second and had to go home to the hot tub.

As always I will warn you that I am not a musical professional and this is only my very personal recollection and I did take notes and will try my best to be a good journalist but this is a blog so you get what you came for.

Sean Kiely

Sean Kiely is always playing something around the town and I’ve heard a lot of good things but this was my first time seeing him play in person. I will say that the slower, quieter songs did seem to have trouble making an impact in the outdoor space, but we really enjoyed the one or two more upbeat ones they played. The most badass thing about this performance was that the sound broke at the end and Kiely and band boldly stepped away from their mics and kept singing/playing until the bitter end. The crowd was pumped and cheering them on and I think that was my favorite part of the whole day.

The Lo-Fis

The Lo-Fis are a trio of dudes that looked like they were in high school but I’m a bad judge of people’s ages so maybe they weren’t that young. I don’t mean that in a bad way! I just mean I think they were in high school and actually if they are that’s cool as hell that they played this festival. They also looked like they went shopping at one of our many fine Jersey City vintage boutiques and the drummer had the best hair of all time. Beyond me just analyzing their hair and their age and what they were wearing I really enjoyed their music and they seemed to really enjoy it too which always makes me happy and glad and fully on board with a performance, seeing the performers look pumped about what they’re doing. At one point the lead singer did this funny little slow spin thing during a time he didn’t have to sing and it was adorable but like in a BAD ASS ROCK WAY. I guess.


I believe our fearless leader Dancing Tony said Glazer was from New Brunswick because I wrote that down in my notebook and I would never ever forget someone mentioning New Brunswick so I didn’t even need to write it down anyway. “Moving up from the basement to the big stage, Glazer!” That’s all I have written down for them I think they weren’t really my style but that’s okay it takes all kinds to ROCK.

Baby Shakes

On the other side of the coin Baby Shakes WAS FULLY MY STYLE because it was like 3 cute but badass chicks enslaved a solitary man and made him their drummer all while wearing miniskirts with fishnets and denim jackets and amazing sunglasses and also THESE BOOTS.

I just love it when gals wear miniskirts to do shit and also get said shit DONE. Personally I love wearing miniskirts and I also love doing shit and I’m glad to see that philosophy in action.

I really enjoyed their music, I think they may have been in my top two as far as style of music and presentation of said style. I could be biased because I love girl bands and girls doing cool stuff and sorry not sorry.


Speaking of gals doing stuff, Barrie was also gals doing stuff and I think they were from Brooklyn and they said “Thank you for having us in your beautiful town” and I thought that was kind and respectful so 10 points for Barrie. A few of them also wore beanies which I thought was fun and for 45 seconds as I was trying to write that down I forgot the word for “beanie” and it took me to a weird mental place but that’s not Barrie’s fault or anything so sorry I brought it up. Thank you for coming to our beautiful town Barrie we were glad to host you.

Ice Balloons

At this point in the day I had drank a lot a lot of white claws and was probably starting to lose touch with reality anyway but then Ice Balloons came on and the lead singer was wearing the head of a fly the entire time and it was weird and spooky and creepy but ‘tis the season so okay I’ll go with it. There was also a guy in this band that everyone kept telling me was in TV on the Radio and I googled it and it was…true! Woo! So then I had Wolf Like Me in my head for the next 72 hours. Yes it’s still in my head.

Crazy & the Brains

Crazy & the Brains is my most favorite Jersey City local band. Actually maybe I shouldn’t say that because I like them all and Ghost of Uncle Joe’s is coming up so I should have some RESPECT for ALL Jersey City local bands. But anyway I love these guys lots. I love their style, see: THESE SHOES.

And they just always seem like they’re having fun and they’re jumping around and they make me want to jump around and sing and also yell. But in a good natured way. I don’t know, it’s good shit.

The lead singer also always leaves the stage or like “performance area” and walks around and sings among the people and seemingly parties among the people for the duration of the song and I think that’s really cool.

They also have some fun instrumental stuff going on, for example A XYLOPHONE and the very tall Xylophone Man (TM) takes his moment to SLAY SOME XLY and KILLS IT and you’re like wooooo!!!

Maybe I’m not describing this well because I didn’t drink enough coffee and I also was so busy enjoying the performance that I didn’t get any good pictures but I think they’re great and that’s all. Crazy & the Brains 4evs.

Ex Hex

Sorry I didn’t stay for you Ex Hex but I will link you here so that others may know you and love you. I did hear good things about this performance on the social media of others.

And that was that! It was a great and fun day and I’m very proud of Pet Shop and The Archer for doing a good and big and special wonderful powerful lovely thing and I can’t wait until next year.

Still hoping for merch with this pigeon on it let me know if you have any leads…

Did you go to Double Parked Fest? What did you think?!?!?!

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