stefani the hermit crab.

Stefani is a hermit crab, she’s named after Gwen Stefani of No Doubt and The Voice and married to Gavin Rossdale and then that other not as cool country singer guy fame. And that is all.

JK that is NOT all because Stefani is awesome and hermit crabs are pretty cool pets, although some stuff on the internet says they shouldn’t even BE pets and they should be free to live out in the hermit crab world and I think that’s fair, but I guess anything shouldn’t really BE A PET if that’s the case. Why do we even “have pets”? Who even invented pets anyway? That’s for another day…

Anyway I’m a responsible pet owner and a Google search fiend so I looked up everything about hermit crabs after I brought Stefani home. Did you know that they need both salt water and fresh water? Did you know that their cages, also known as “CRABITATS” (hehe) need to be humid/moist at all times or they will get dehydrated AND DIE? That they need extra shells around to choose from to switch into and they shouldn’t ever have a shell with paint on it because the paint could be POISON and they could DIE?!

During this initial Google search period and subsequent supplemental Google searches I came across many things you can expose a hermit crab to or deprive a hermit crab of AND THEY WILL STRAIGHT UP DIE. So their little lives are really full of constant and precarious danger and there’s nothing we can do about it besides stay 100% vigilant at all times.

The story of Stefani is that one day I went to Point Pleasant with my old roommate and I partook in some adult recreation so I was feeling pretty jazzed up and in awe of all creatures big and small so we picked out Stefani in her painted (POISON! DEATH!) ladybug shell from a big CRABITAT (hehe) and took her back to Jersey City.

The car ride was very exciting as we got to know Stefani and there are at least 103 pictures from a variety of angles but I’m going to include just a small sampling here.

Once home, we settled in and Stefani became our third roommate.

During the first few weeks, I thought Stefani was dead at least 57 times. I would set up my phone to capture a video of her, then leave the room for an hour, just to see if she came out of her shell and moved around. Hermit crabs really are hermits. It’s not a lie. They don’t really hang out much.

Here is a poorly compressed video I took of checking to see if Stefani was alive.

But when they do? OH THEY DO. They like to run across the floor and climb around on things and generally get rowdy AF. They’re funny little creatures and I love them. Maybe I should get another one.

Also a poorly compressed .gif of Stefani on the move.

The biggest news is that Stefani is about to be Jersey City Famous! She was one of the pets selected for the annual Kanibal & Co Animals of Jersey City! She’s going to be on AT LEAST a cute custom bandana and I think some other creature merch but I’m not sure what yet and CANNOT WAIT to find out you guys.

It’s this Saturday and Sunday! 9/28 from 11am – 7pm and 9/29 from 11am – 5pm.

I sadly won’t be there because I’m going on a trip to the Finger Lakes this weekend (don’t you worry, I’ll share some pics/thoughts/possible rants?! about that as well), but my boyfriend will be there to represent our family and will be instructed on what information/media/CONTENT needs to be captured for posterity and also for the world to see.

Stop by Kanibal if you’re in JC or close to JC or wanna come to JC, it’s one of my fav places on our fair Mother Earth.

All of this is very exciting, maybe TOO exciting for Stefani because she has gone into a molt phase. It’s kind of weird because she seems dead but she may not actually be dead but she may also be dead. Apparently it would smell terrible if it was actual death and that’s not happening so morale is high. The internet says it can last up to 3 months! Weird. It’s been 1.5 months so far…so hopefully we haven’t lost her, but if we do at least she will have been IMMORTALIZED IN MERCH 4EVER Y’ALL.

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